After pancreatic cancer – coping with loss
A place to support each other after a loved one has died, whether they were a partner, friend or family member. Grief can affect people differently, so please be kind and respect others' views on how they choose to cope.
80 topics in this forum
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Unable to cope
by Guest Fifi- 18 replies
- 40k views
My wonderful Dad passed away on the 21st April this year. I am unable to be normal. I struggle to like people, or even pretend. I just want my Dad. My mind is set on constant repeat of my Dad's last week. From the Oncologist saying treatment was no more, the look on my Dad's face, watching him being helped to a room. Watching the stroke. Realising he had lost movement, and speech. Hearing the secretions start. Knowing I could lose him any second. Never leaving his side. Seeing him go unconscious. Seeing him take his last breath. Organising his funeral, emptying his house, sorting out his belongings. Then of course there was all the heartache be…
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How have other people coped
by Aimee- 10 replies
- 23k views
So I thought maybe if I wrote on here and had some sort of response it may help me. 3 weeks ago my grandma was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, long story short there was nothing they could do to help. She was too old and too weak to have any sort of treatment. After caring for her within in her own home for the last 2 weeks she has sadly passed away. I've always been really close with my grandma & with her only living doors away from me I've seen her everyday of my life. She has always been my only grandma in my life & I was just wondering how other people have coped with such loss? Some days I feel ok and manage to take my mind off things but then ot…
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Finding it so hard to recall better times 1 2 3 4
by Linda G- 93 replies
- 127.2k views
Hello everyone, my lovely husband Stewart died from PC five weeks ago today. He had been ill for eight months and it was horrendous. I am devastated. I am finding it so hard to remember the good 16 years we had together before he became ill. My mind just goes over and over the horrible times. I was trying to recall the feel of his face under my fingertips today and all I could remember was how hard and solid his face felt when he went to sleep for the 12 days before he died. I try looking at photographs ( on everyone of them he is smiling) and I remember how sad and frightened he was while he was ill. Its seems impossible to get the bad thoughts out of my head. Everything…
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dadl lost his bravest battle
by tintin1970- 3 replies
- 17.4k views
dad lost his battle on the 6th of may, in memory of him a poem I wrote for his funeral DEAR DAD SORRY DAD , I BROKE A PROMISE TO YOU , YOU BEGGED ME NOT TO CRY ,WHEN YOU SAID GOODBYE. AS HARD AS I TRY , THE TEARS STILL FLOW, IN MY HEART YOU WILL STAY ,I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO. THE DAY WE LOST YOU THE SUN SHON BRIGHT AND THE BIRDS SUNG IN THE TREES, THIS ANNOYED ME , IT WAS AS IF THEY DID NOT KNOW I WAS NOW THE FATHERLESS ONE. THAT CANCER DID NOT BEAT US , IT BROUGHT US CLOSER TOGETHER , IT UNITED US AS FATHER AND SON . YOU BEC…
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The loss of Mum!
by Sueoliver- 19 replies
- 38.8k views
Hi everyone I always knew it would be hard to lose such a strong brave wonderful woman but gosh it is hard? I just wondered if anyone else re lived what they went through. I can't stop thinking about the awful things Mum had to go through and the horror of it all! When she was alive I dealt with it and supported her all the way but now I feel like I am having nightmares! There have been nights when I haven't slept at all! She was so brave and strong but all I can think about is the horror of it all! I know it will get easier and these thoughts will fade but at the moment it is awful! Did any one else feel like this? Love to everyone, Sue xxx
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- 9 replies
- 23.5k views
Hello everyone Its my first post here. Hard to word my story but last week Tuesday I burried my lovely mother. I find it difficult to cope with the loss. She was fighting with pancreatic cancer for the last 9 months. Specialist nurses Jeni and Dianne were really very helpful for me and my mother in difficult times. But now I need help, I struggle a lot. No peace in my mind. I need some kind of support. I believe bereavement councelling might help. Is there any available support? Would it cost money? Please advise me. Thanks to all, Guram
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Slewis7313
by sandraW- 10 replies
- 24.7k views
I have found out this evening that our forum friend Steve sadly passed away yesterday evening. I send my condolences and love to his wife Margaret, and his daughters Holly and Paige his family and friends. he will be sadly missed. sandrax xx
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my dad
by Elisejo5- 18 replies
- 41.1k views
hi all im new to this and just wanted to talk to someone going through similar situation, my dad was taking into hospital at the end of july as he felt really unwell vomitting severe weight loss not eating where he was sent home after 2 days saying it was constipation 2 days later he was readmitted and sent home again with laxatives the following day he was rushed back in after collapsing at home and it was after this admission they decided they were gonna do a CT scan on him on the wednesday on the friday evening after visiting at 8pm i went home and he phoned me about 45 mins later to say that the doctor had been up to see him and told him that he had a tumour on his li…
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My beautiful mum
by Tara1979- 7 replies
- 21.7k views
Hello I'm new to this group so not sure how this all works. In July last year my beautiful mum was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer at the age of 61 . As you all know this completely turned our life's up side down she was told that it was terminal and had chemo to try to contain her tuma . She was really amazing the way she just got on and delt with everything that was thrown at her . She never moned of felt sorry for herself . Her only worry was about us after she was gone .sadly on the 1st of April she fell asleep cancer may have taken her body but it never took her spirit .l know it's early days but I still can't get my head around the fact that she's gone .
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My beautiful mum
by Tara1979- 0 replies
- 14.6k views
Hello I'm new to this group so not sure how this all works. In July last year my beautiful mum was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer at the age of 61 . As you all know this completely turned our life's up side down she was told that it was terminal and had chemo to try to contain her tuma . She was really amazing the way she just got on and delt with everything that was thrown at her . She never moned of felt sorry for herself . Her only worry was about us after she was gone .sadly on the 1st of April she fell asleep cancer may have taken her body but it never took her spirit .l know it's early days but I still can't get my head around the fact that she's gone .
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What to Say ?
by wackywacky- 7 replies
- 20.7k views
Well 3 weeks and a day now since beloved clocked out, and how am I might sound daft but not bad, don't get me wrong I have my moments when I am on my own but with the amount of visitors I am having and people taking me out its nice to have a few days to myself before the kids arrive for easter. Beloveds funeral was brilliant more than two hundred people and the pub afterward people drinking outside as pub full. Am off on holiday shortly for some sunshine (what beloved told me to do) then when iam back going to ring work to see about going back. Didge Fifi Sandra Sue Nicki Jayne steve and everybody thinking about you all the time hope things work out keep fighting keep as…
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Proud not sad?
by Samelia- 9 replies
- 22.2k views
As I posted earlier this week my dad peacefully passed away on Wednesday surrounded by his family at home. Obviously at the time we were all in tears but my dads death was actually so lovely- if it ever can be? In his last moments his eyes opened, scanned the room and then two tears fell down his cheeks as though he was saying goodbye. He then closed his eyes. As a man he was always petrified of anything medical e.g drs, dentists, hospitals. However, when we were given the awful news just 4 weeks ago, that there was no available treatment my dad decided not to found out. He was so so brave! He never spoke about anything to any of us and never wanted a fuss. He eve…
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Feeling numb
by hannie- 7 replies
- 21k views
Well my mum passed away Monday morning peacefully at macmillan unit. I didn't get to be there after spending 12 hrs the day before after the home she was in send her in due to a high temp. Was told she died peacefully with no pain and a nurse had been with her. All I can say am glad she is now out of her suffering but I wish we had more time. We had just finished her room at home so she could come back as she really wanted that . Just glad she knew it was happening and was trying our hardness to get her home. Anyways now it's time to start sorting things out that I wish I didn't have too. Thanks to al the members here who have given me support with msgs on my …
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Saying goodbye ...
by LMD- 24 replies
- 44.5k views
Hi Thank you everyone who posts here. Over the last 15 months I've read the posts on this forum pretty much every evening - I've only posted a few times myself (as my father was very private) but I feel as though I know you so well!... The website, this forum, the conversations/telephone calls and e.mails with Dianne and Jeni have been my 'lifeline'..... Yesterday was my fathers funeral. A few hundred people paid their respects and gave him an amazing send off. My Dad was my hero and I love and miss him so much. There are no words to describe the loss... From the moment he was diagnosed he remained positive and remained that way until the end. One thing he sai…
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- 3 replies
- 18.1k views
The hospice where dad died has offered family support as its now 6m since he died. I'm also entitled to counselling which can include bereavement counselling through my work. I'm really torn, I think the hospice would be good, the staff were so nice, but I fel like I have access to another resource so my place is better going to someone who doesn't have access elsewhere (bearing in mind the hospice needs every penny) Does anyone have any advice? I def need some help to cope. Should I accept both? Or is that counter productive? I'm mixed up.
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Hello
by Isa- 2 replies
- 17.5k views
I'm new here, looking for some help to cope. I lost my dad in April, he was diagnosed in march, nothing could be done and he suffered unbearable nerve pain til the end. I can sort of cope with him dying, he was 78 and had a long happy life, what I'm struggling with is the traumatic way he died. I have nightmares and struggle to sleep, I'm so stressed and angry at everyone.
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One Year Has Gone By
by J_T- 19 replies
- 39k views
Ray survived 7 months from diagnosis and he was only 'well' for about half of that time. I can't tell you how much I got from the forum, the nurses, the posters, how much I still get. I promise to keep Ray's memory alive. Take a look at my tribute if you like and very best wishes to you all. Ray Foy 5.9.1951-12.10.2013 - A life well lived. Julia x
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lost dad this morning.
by root- 5 replies
- 19.6k views
So I have moved from Advanced Pancreatic Cancer site to loss and memorial. I lost my dad to PC this morning after suffering for a year. So glad he is at peace and sad he has gone. It was a privilege to be with him as he passed.
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Does it ever get any easier?
by Sarahm31- 2 replies
- 17k views
I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer 17 months ago but I'm still finding every day a struggle, I feel sad, angry, bitter, guilty, and most of all heartache at missing my dad. My dad went into hospital on a Tuesday, was diagnosed Thursday and he died the early hours of Saturday morning. I had literally stayed with him 24/7 but needed to get home Friday night (for a shower and sleep) my head had literally just hit the pillow when I got the call that he was going. I raced to hospital but he had gone. My biggest regret in my life is that I hadn't stayed just a few more hours so I could've been with him and held his hand as he passed away. My dad was such an amazing man he had …
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Heartbroken
by Chrisf- 17 replies
- 37.2k views
Pete, my wonderful husband and father to our 5 amazing children died two weeks ago today on 24th August. He was diagnosed on 12th June, just over 10 weeks earlier. He was 54. He finally succumbed to an infection which was resistant to most antibiotics and by the time he was clear of infection, the cancer had taken hold. He spent the last two weeks in a local hospice and received such amazing care. They are continuing to support me too. At the moment it feels too unreal to be true. I feel as though I'm going through the motions of getting on with life. It's taken me a while to write this. I'll try and write more another time. Christine xxx
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Missing Mam so much - Mam's Spirit
by NICOLA- 9 replies
- 25.3k views
It will be 2 weeks on Sat when I lost my wonderful mam....Im really finding it so hard that Im never going to see her again. I am catholic and really do believe in life after death. I thought that when mam died I would feel her around me, some people have said give it time, some people have said believe whatever helps you. I know its early days and I should give myself time and accept that she's gone but Im desperatly looking for a sign or something from her to know she's there. Should I see a spiritualist ??? If anyone has had a sign from their loved one I would love to hear your story. Nicola
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David
by nikkis- 19 replies
- 39.8k views
Dear all, I was looking at the tribute wall and noticed a recent tribute to David left by Sam (top left corner). Thinking this is probably the lovely David who posted here, who was so positive and supportive, and has been missed. Whether it is or not, sadly another much loved man has lost his battle to stay with his young family. Nikki
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How are all your Ladies coping ?
by EmmaR- 19 replies
- 41k views
Well I am feeling very low at the moment it's 9 weeks since my hubby passed away I know that about 5 or 6 ladies lost their loved ones in the months leading up to Christmas so I was wondering how you are coping . I have a lovely supportive family near by and I know they are feeling it too but at the end of the day when it's only me wow do it hit me ,I go out for walks on my own and with family but I have to say at the moment the heartache and sadness is still an overwhelming feeling so how are you lovely ladies who went through everything I did while our loved ones were fighting PC coping with every day things with out them . Love EmmaR x
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Another battle lost
by MrsR- 7 replies
- 21.9k views
For the last year I have been one of the "lurkers" following the trials and tribulations of many of the people on this forum. I have celebrated every bit of good news and shed a tear far too many times at the bad. During that time I feel I have come to know many of you. In January of last year my brother in law Bob followed a similar pattern of jaundice, weight loss etc and was diagnosed with PC after numerous tests. He had many borderline Autistic tendancies and the PC only made it worse. He truly believed he was going to be one of the lucky ones and in fact I suppose he was. He was able to have a whipples in February but by June the little blighter had come ba…
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Missing my Clint so much
by atomlinson29- 2 replies
- 17.9k views
Tomorrow it will be 2 months since my husband Clint went home to be with the one and only True God. Thanksgiving was hard,the first month he had been gone was hard, and Christmas was even harder. I wonder how tomorrow will be? Then after that his 40th Birthday would have been next Friday on January 24th. Oh Lord I miss him more than anyone could ever understand. I never dreamed I would be a widow at 30 with 2 children. How do people ever move on from this. Clint was and is my one and only.He was one of a kind. Its gonna be a ruff month