So far so good!

[jay]

Just want to echo what Leila has said Paige,

My husband never joined the forum but would often ask me how Steve was doing, he gave him hope, thinking of you all in the weeks ahead,

love Jayne

x

[Birchen]

So very sorry to hear such sad news that Steve has lost his fight. He was an inspiration to our family when my husband was given 3 to 6 months and Steve's emails gave us hope that maybe he could survive longer. You must all be so proud that he gave other people hope. Thinking of you at this sad time Lyn xx

[Paige]

The funeral was held on Thursday 17th March and what a beautiful sunny day it was, which is a rareity for Swansea so we were very fortunate to have such beautiful weather, there was also a great turn out of people which was lovely to see including colleagues of my Dad that had travelled all the way from Germany especially which really meant a lot to my Mum, my sister and I. My sister and I even managed to read a poem each which meant a lot to us to have been able to do that. My Dad is buried in a cemetry overlooking one of the bays which feels so fitting for him given his love of the sea, the bay the cemetry is overlooking is where my Dad used to go kayaking and sea rowing.

I just want to say a massive thank you again for all the lovely comments and also for the incredible support my Dad received from his forum family through both the good and bad times, this place really helped my Dad to not feel alone and that meant so much to my Dad and us too and we will never forget the amazing support my Dad received from everyone on here, so thank you.

Take care all.

[Didge]

I am glad it went well and you had a beautiful day for it. Your dad was an amazing man but I don't need to tell you that. We all miss him on the forum, his courage, his positivity, his sense of humour! My thoughts are with you all.

Didge xx

[sandraW]

Sending love to you all, especially your Mum, good to hear about the sunshine, it does make a big difference to the day. I am sure the colleagues from Germany thought as much of you dad as we did here, he gave so much help and support and I am glad the forum helped him too.

Well done to both you and your sister for reading your poem, the strength to do these things come from somewhere, we just need to do the last things we can in their memory.

Thank you for posting and its lovely to hear what a beautiful resting place your Dad has, he will never leave you he will be in your hearts and minds forever, take care sandrax xx

[Guest]

Hi Paige,

Lovely to see you posting. Pleased to read the funeral went well. Well done for you and your sister standing up to read. Like Sandra said, you just get the strength from somewhere. Your Dad would be so very proud of you both.

Leila xx

[J_T]

You're dad was amazing. He will be sorely missed.

Much love to you all.

Julia xxx

[Paige]

First birthday without my Dad today, he would have been 62 today. My Mum, my sister, my partner and my aunti and uncle and i are going out to one of my Dad's favourite restaurants in memory of him and as hard as it is to hopefully share some of our lovely memories of which I am so grateful to have so many. It is a beautiful day here today in Swansea which is quite rare and the restaurant is overlooking one of the beautiful bays, part of the reason I think my Dad loved it so much there. Three years ago today we were in Spain on a family holiday, celebrating my Dads birthday, he absolutely loved it and as usual his was full of laughter and fun. There are so many events we didn't think my Dad would be here to see, such as his and my Mums 40th wedding anniversary, my graduations, his 60th birthday, I am so glad we got to share so much time with him, I realise we were more fortunate than others in that respect. It has only been 3 Months and a couple of weeks since he passed away yet in some ways it feels so much longer, has anyone else found this? I still remember everything so vividly, some of which things haunt me but sometimes it just feels like an awful nightmare. I don't know whether it is a coping mechanism of just that I was fortunate to get to see him everyday that having not seen him for 3 and a bit months just seems so long. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with grief and others I feel I just keep myself so busy that I don't have time to think to much, it can be a very lonely place to be, I struggle to talk about how I feel, I am sure sadly so many people can relate to that isolated feeling. One thing I am sure of though is that my Dad is loved and will be loved always and I am hoping one day the happy memories will bring just smiles and not tears too. Anyway just wanted to post today, in loving memory of my wonderful Daddy, I miss his happy go lucky nature and his contagious laugh. I miss watching the soaps with him and laughing about the predictable story lines. I miss going kayaking with him. I miss everything about him. I miss how he could always cheer me up no matter what. I couldn't have felt more loved. We will be playing some of his favourite music later after the meal including Queen and a bit of ELO on his record deck.

Love to all wherever you are on your journey

Xx

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Thanks for the post Paige, at such a poignant time.

So lovely to hear your plans, and all the lovely memories you have of your amazing dad.

I am sure that you are all going to have a wonderful time, and Happy Birthday Steve.

You are missed greatly by so many.

Jeni.

[Guest]

Oh Paige, my heart goes out to you. I hope you are able to enjoy the evening and know that Dad would want you all to be together sharing a little celebration and I'm sure that his spirit, which lives within you will be glad. M x

[sandraW]

Paige, sending love to you all on your dad's birthday. I can completely relate to the feeling of it feeling much longer than it actually is since you last saw your dad, its 14 months since Trevor passed but it feels like years since I last saw him felt him smelt him. But those time when you can look back and smile will come, believe me, I am staying with my youngest son and his family at the moment and this afternoon when we were out in the car we went over some bumps and my granddaughter who is nearly 8 piped up from the back, "that's like the time Granddad went over those bumps Nana and my bottom nearly got out of my seat, then got back in again," of course we all laughed and told stories about Granddad's driving, so it will come, I hope you have a lovely evening with some smiles along with the tears, take care love sandrax xx

[Proud Wife]

Hi Paige,

A "first". I'm very big on "firsts". Your father was far too young. I hope you managed to make something of his special day. One thing is for certain. Your Dad will be so, so proud of you, (again please forgive me, I can't talk of anyone in the past tense) the support you are giving those of us slightly behind you in your journey is humbling and so so comforting.

Take care my lovely xx

[Guest]

Hi Paige,

I hope you were able to share some wonderful memories of your Dad on his birthday.

Yes your Dad did have longer than most but that doesn't mean you weren't deserving of the special memories. Steve was such a great man. I always admire the patients that come on here and post about their illness. I think it must be so very hard to write it down and share with others. He saw on here other people passing away, knowing that sadly the same would happen to him.

He was particularly nice to me when my Dad passed away, think because I am a daughter, and that he had you amd your sister in mind.

With regards to time, I feel it is years ago since I last saw my Dad, but at the same time, I can't quite believe a year has passed.

Take care Paige

Leila xx

[Paige]

In loving memory of my amazing and brave Daddy, he will always be my hero. Today marks a year since my Dad passed away. Though I feel such sadness when I think about my Dad and that he is gone I also fill with so much pride thinking of my Dad, not just for his positivity and determination throughout his illness but for all those wonderful years before PC when I could have not felt any more loved or supported by such a wonderful Dad, he was always the one I turned to for advice and he always seemed to make everything better when times are hard but even more than that, he was a friend and the best kind at that, someone I loved to spend time with and we always had such a laugh together, I will cherish all the memories for the rest of my life, I was truly lucky to have such an incredible person in my life, a true gentlemen with a heart of gold, he always put my mum, my sister and I first, right until the very end. Love you always Daddy and miss you more than words can say.

Hi everyone, I just wanted to post here today to pay tribute to my amazing Dad, here of all places i know that everyone will understand how I am feeling and so I wanted to share this here and also because this place meant so much to my Dad, and even though the PC journey was full of unbearable times, I know my Dad still managed to have a bit of a laugh on here with everyone and he felt so supported here and when he found this forum, he no longer felt so isolated and I am so thankful to everyone for that and I am so glad that my Dad was able to provide so much support and hope on here to others too. Thank you everyone for everything and all my best wishes to everyone faced with this relentless disease, hang on to hope. I have been following everyones journeys though I haven't been posting but I have been thinking of you all often. I would also like to say a special thank you to the nurses here, my family don't know where we would have been without you and I will never forget everything you did for us. I plan on running a 35 mile ultra marathon at the end of the year round the gower in Wales in memory of my Dad and to raise money for PCUK and the local hospice where my Dad spent the end of his life, it will be a challenge but nothing compared to what my Dad and all the others go through with this awful disease.

My best wishes to all,

Xxx

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Hello Paige,

It is so wonderful to hear from you - not least on this poignant occasion in memory of your amazing Dad.

We too so much appreciated everything your dad brought to the charity, and to others here on the forums. He was always willing to help others as you say, putting himself last.

Indeed, such wonderful memories you will treasure - he always spoke so highly of you all. A wonderful family, who gave so much to others in their own difficult times.

We are thinking of you all today Paige.

Regards to all,

Jeni.

Jeni Jones

Pancreatic Cancer Specialist Nurse

Support Team

Pancreatic Cancer UK

email: support@pancreaticcancer.org.uk

support line: 0808 801 0707

[sandraW]

Paige,

Lovely to hear from you, and what a wonderful tribute to your wonderful Dad.

Though it doesn't seem a year since you lost him, time passes so quickly. It's almost 2 years now since the loss of my brave bold beautiful Trevor, and you are right we did have some laughs together over the most bizarre things, its what kept us all going.

I am sending love to your Mum, sister and the rest of the family, the memories will never leave us and we should be so thankful that we have so many wonderful ones to cherish take care love sandrax xx

[Ruthus]

Dear Paige. What lovely words in memory of your father. Many memories to cherish and he sounds like a wonderful man. When I was first diagnosed in Nov 15 your fathers story gave me great advice and hope when there seemed to be no hope. Good luck running the ultra marathon. I have done two in the past 5 years. One was 40 miles the other 56. They were great experiences and I did them both with friends where we ran/walked. I will sponsor you if you post your link when your ready.

Love Ruth x

[Paige]

Thank you Jeni, Sandra and Ruth. You are so right Sandra, we really

must cherish the memories of our loved ones and nothing can take those wonderful memories away. I know what you mean about time flying, I can't believe it is coming up to 2 years since you lost your wonderful Trevor and I think you're amazing for continuing to support people on here and I hope you are getting by ok. It is strange as even though the past year has flown by and I can remember everything vividly from the hospital and the hospice it also seems like such a long time ago since I last saw my Dad, doesn't make sense really. That is wonderful Ruth that you have completed two ultra marathons, I stuck with a shorter distance of the ultras to sign up to for my first one (possibly my one and only, we will see), I am quite excited about doing it though, it will be nice to have something to focus on as well. I hope you are still managing to enjoy keeping active Ruth, you have been very inspirational.

Thinking of you all,

Paige

Xxx