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Welcome to this new forum on coping with loss

PCUK Nurse Jeni

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Oh Catherine,

Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your precious son Gavin.

The time they took to diagnose to the heartbreaking loss is surreal.

I lost my mam just over 6 weeks ago to PC ,she was diagnosed on the last day of April, the quickness of it was so so frightening, I still cant believe she has gone.

As Louie said, its so hard to imagine your loss, of your child.. Im 42yrs myself and have one daughter, 24yrs. I cannot begin to imagine what you must be going through.

Its great that you had an amazing relationship and spent so much time together at home, that must be a comfort to you.

My heart goes out to you Sharrie - and everyone who is suffering on here, ive read all your stories and cried buckets but also gives strength to know your not alone, and your feelings are normal - Seeing my dad suffer losing my mam after over 45 devoted yrs together, watching him so lost at times.. it breaks my heart..I really hope you find some strength on here, it helps me.. as we are all suffering through this awful disease.

I feel a physical pain of loss, and I know it can over whelm you.. Im getting worse as time goes on. We had a service Monday as my mams stone was ready.. and it has set me back. It helps that I talk to my mam every day.. Its the 'first' of everything without her is really hard, we seen eachother everyday, if not then we spoke on the phone, us, her family were her life and she doted on us.. got to remember how lucky I am to have had that, nothing can break that bond, your love or precious memories. Ive had some signs to tell me she is ok, is so comforting. Some days there is just nothing anyone can say or do to help you, its so hard.

Take care everyone, thinking of you all

Lots of love

Ella xxx

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  • 1 month later...

Hi, I am new to your forum so before I post anything on a topic I wanted to know if there is anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one who are in the same frame of mind as myself.

Before I go into any detail I'd like to know if the subject of over-medication in pancreatic cancer is an acceptable subject to discuss ?.

I have so many things going through my mind in relation to my much loved & greatly missed Nanna's death who passed away 2 weeks ago today.

Thank you.


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My brother and I lost our beautiful mum on September 19th 2012, three months after she had developed jaundice, which lead us to discover that she had pancreatic cancer. We thought we had been given a lifeline when our mum was able to have the whipple procedure to remove the cancer, but in the weeks after the surgery the cancer hadn't gone and had spread. We were told that there was nothing else they could do for her on Sept 18th and she passed away peacefully the following night.

My mum blew me the biggest kiss that day and it's something I will never forget. Our mum was never in any pain, and always managed a smile everyday, even if it was just a little one. She has been the bravest lady ever, to go through everything that she went through in those three months.

I have not been in work since July, I'm due to return next month. I took time off to care for my mum, and I'm so glad that we shared so much time together, and she told me everyday how much of a good job I was doing.

My mum was 60 years old, and up until the last 3 months, worked full time, drove a car, she basically lived life to the full. We still can't believe that she has gone, because everything has happened so quickly it hasn't sunk in. We try to do normal things, but our mum is with us every second of every day.

She was and still is quite simply the best, and both my brother and I are thankful for the wonderful life that she gave us. Love you always mum xxxx

Lynsey and Lee xxxx

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Lynsey and Lee, I am so sorry to read about your lovely mum. Three months is such a short time and now life must feel very strange without her. My husband is 58 so I am guessing that you might be similar ages to my girls (23 & 24). The sort of age when you feel like you ought to be grown up but you know you aren't. And losing your mother is one of life's hardest lessons of all. You will carry her with you, always, in your heart and in you, she lives on. Talk about her lots and go easy on yourselves, it will take a lot longer than three months for you to feel at peace. There will be ups and downs and you can come and talk to us whenever you want to. Thank you for posting and telling us about your beautiful mum.

With love



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PCUK Nurse Jeni

Hi Lynsey and Lee,

I am very sorry to hear about the death of your mum. It sounds like you had an amazing relationship with her, and it is great that you were able to care for her when she got sick. These are times you can never get back again, so it is very good that you have the memories of your time together.

Please accept my condolences as well as those of the charity at this sad time.

Kind regards,


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Dear Lynsey and Lee

So sorry to hear about your Mum. This is such a cruel disease and things can move frighteningly fast for some. You must be absolutely devastated and it will understandably take you some time to come to terms with what has happened. I lost my husband in April and I am still feeling the loss and miss him very much. The pain is less raw and I am now able to think about happy times, rather than the traumatic last few days but I do have very dark days and have found it best to just go with the flow and just ride with whatever emotions come over me. Going back to work was a positive thing for me, as it filled my mind with other things - it was difficult to concentrate at first and I did feel very fragile but that has got better over time too. So glad to hear that you have some happy pictures in your mind of your mum's love and pride for you - that will bring you great comfort I am sure. She sounds like a lovely and courageous lady and you are also rightly proud of her. Remember we are all here for you, if you need some support or just want someone to listen. I still find the forum family a source of great comfort and immense support. Take care of yourself. Love to you and your family.



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