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Any advice please?


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My dad (67) was diagnosed in September with stage 4 PC with mets to the liver. This was picked up on a routine scan for something else and apparently wasn't there six months ago.

The oncologist started him on Gemcitabine and cisplastin and he has his sixth one next week followed by a scan. The whole situation plus side effects from the chemo has completely turned over our lives. The fact that there is no hope is very upsetting for us all plus the fear of what lies ahead.

The oncologist has said that if the lesions have shrunk then they will continue with the G+C, if it hasn't then they will give him a more aggressive chemo. My parents asked if there would ever be a break from it all but the answer was no - they would just continue. This is very depressing but I guess it is reality. We feel we are in a dark tunnel and there is no light.

I'm not sure that my dad would be able to cope with a more aggressive chemo - I don't even know if he would agree to go ahead with it anyway. The oncologist isn't particularly friendly which doesn't help much either.

I don't know what my question is really. I want to make their lives easier somehow but I don't know how. It's like a nightmare that we cannot wake up from. He's even talked about ending it all.

Thanks for reading. I know we're not the only ones going through this nightmare and my sympathy goes out to everyone else who is.

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My boyfriend was started on gemcitabine but had bad side effects, the type which stopped him having chemo on numerous occasions. In the end they stopped it but later started him on folfirinox. I dreaded this as I felt that if he couldn't even tolerate gemcitabine, what point was there in trying a stronger chemo. But, with the help of immune boosting injections, he has tolerated it much better and has hardly any side effects at all! So do reassure your dad that one type doesn't dicate how you will feel on another type even if stronger. You could ask for a second opinion from another oncologist if that is an option. You could do without an unfriendly oncololist. As to the nightmare, we are all there in it with you!

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Didge gave some good advice with regards to the chemo. My dad was diagnosed last February with stage 4 mets to the liver. He has Gemcitibine and Th302/placebo trial drug. He never finished a whole cycle, but had good scan results everytime. In August the chemo had taken its toll and Dad was getting bad mouth ulcers. The stopped his treatment. His December scan showed 3 large spots back on his liver. He started Folfox last week.

As with regards to ending it, I know how much this hurts you, as a daughter to hear from her dad. In my Dads first 4 to 5 months, he often would cry to me and say this. I cannot cope with hearing this from my dad. I literally cannot describe the pain it makes me feel.

Please keep posting here, we are all here to help one another.

Leila. xx

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Hi there and welcome to the forum, the place no one wants to be, but where you will get lots of help and support. For some strange reason it does help to know that there are others going through the same thing as you are.

I do think that both PC and chemotherapy cause depression, why wouldn't they! I know my husband Trevor has on his bad days, cried and said, I don't think I can do this any more, but a couple of days later when he is feeling better, he is much more upbeat.

It is awful for them and for us too of course to have this "death sentence" there all the time, but you just have to make the most of every day, I know how you feel watching your Dad go through all this, he is your hero, and you just want to make it all better, and you can't, you just have to give him and your Mum too all the love and support you can, which I am sure you are.

People do very well on the treatments, so do try to stay positive, hard as it is,and post often it does help, take care sandrax

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Thank you so much for your replies and supportive words. It's good to have a place like this to come and hear from people who are sadly going through the same situation (if only we didn't have to).

It's interesting to hear about the immune boosting injections - will keep that in mind. I'm just hoping and praying that the scan will give some positive news.

Thanks again x

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