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Joined: Tue Jul 24, 2018 9:25 pm

Re: Time

Postby Fairy » Sun Oct 14, 2018 8:10 am

Michaela1 wrote:
> Hi Fairy,
> No it is ok, you have not scared me, only this God awful disease does that!
> I wouldn't say I am scared, although moments of dread do go through your
> mind when you read others experiences. However equally so the words of
> stories also bring you comfort and hope.
> You were a star for your mum, and above all I wanted you to realise that as
> it was very much coming across that you felt you were not doing enough,
> whereas in reality you were doing more than anyone could have!
> My wife and I are struggling with the decision that when my time comes
> would I be better of dying at home or in the hospice. I don't want to be a
> burden or be in too much pain so favour the hospice for my wife's
> sanity.....she however wants to look after me at home,and for me to be
> around familiar things and the comfort of my own home. So you see other
> people's experiences such as your own helps!

Hello again,

Thank you.
I feel humbled that you are offering me comfort in the face of your own struggle. I’m sure I sound slightly pathetic.
It is so hard to put into words everything that I am feeling.
I can see both sides and it has to be what’s right for you, the individual, whilst the hospice can offer immediate pain relief or offer advice when a challenge arrives I suppose you have to consider the familiarity of home, the sounds and smells, privacy. That’s what mum wanted. I just found it distressing waiting for nurses/hospice to arrive when mum was in pain, two hours one night....felt like forever. Please don’t misunderstand me, our district nurses were amazing and looked after my mum and loved her, I know that, and the hospice at home staff, they’re in a league of their own, I can never repay their kindness, they were so gentle and loving, respectful,. At one point I wanted to tell them they couldn’t leave I felt so comforted by their presence.
I’m really grateful that you have given your time to speak with me, I hope that you and your wife take strength from each other, she sounds like a special lady. Sending you love and strength for the challenges ahead, Fairy xXx