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Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Quickasyoucan » Tue May 09, 2017 9:59 am

Hi Elaine it's very kind of you to ask after us. My stubborn dad continues to defy the odds and is still here but v weak now. He went back into the hospice and had a permanent drain for his ascites put in via a short trip to hospital and back to the hospice.he had a bit of relief but definitely weakened and expressed a wish to die at the hospice which we have been very lucky they agreed to. I have lost track of weeks but he did go through a v drowsy period when we thought it was over. But then he woke up again and ate an ice cream a few days ago. He also apologised to my sister for continually saying he wants to die in her company and said it's not personal!! My poor sister has been doing it all but her hubby is now taking shifts at the hospice. Dad has periods of agitation as he underreports pain so they have now fitted a syringe driver and they are using sedation. Things are strangely calm generally as I can no longer FaceTime him as he's too weak. He may go soon or he may linger but I just want him not in pain and not scared .

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Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Justamo » Tue May 09, 2017 10:38 pm

Hello Quickly.

I noticed you mentioned a cockroach called Barry. Did you ever read a book called Archie & Mehitabel ? I think it's Australian. It's about a cat and a cockroach who are Best Friends.

If Boris brings back a cockroach I will leave home. I can't cope with anything that's got more than 4 legs.

It sounds as though Grumpy is calm and peaceful even if it's because of sedation. And if they've got the pain sorted out that will make things much easier for him.

Thinking of you and the rest of our forum family,

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Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Quickasyoucan » Sat May 20, 2017 4:30 am

Hi All Dad died peacefully around 11 am last Monday in the hospice where he wanted to be.
Last Saturday night he suddenly spoke for the first time in ages and said to my sister 'ring my daughter'. When she said 'I'm here Dad' he said 'my other daughter'. She FaceTimed me and I managed to talk to him for a couple of minutes. He couldn't talk but I think he smiled. My other sister in Oz managed to FaceTime too. My brother came down from London on Monday morning the last child not to see him recently as he has been overseas. Dad stopped breathing as they were turning him half an hour after my brother arrived. So the circle was complete. Dad was almost gone already so we feel sad but happy for him to be free and hopeful in some way he is reunited with my mum. Dad managed nearly 8 months after the first symptoms and only 1 cycle of chemo which didn't work. He was brave and strong and we all miss and love him v much. George his dog is v settled with my sister who was dad's lifeline in these last few weeks. We can never thank her enough. Xx


Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Marmalade » Sat May 20, 2017 7:21 am

Dearest Quickly,

I am so very sorry for your loss but very pleased that your Dad was able to go the way he wanted having said cheerio to you all. It is a rare thing these days. You all did a good job in spending time with him, staying in touch (God bless the internet) and making sure he was cared for and comforted each in your way. I wish you strength and peace and send you love. M xx

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Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Veema » Sat May 20, 2017 7:54 am

So sorry Quickly...but like you say, he was ready.

Much love to you all...it sounds like, between you, you did a marvellous job.


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Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Didge » Sat May 20, 2017 7:11 pm

Glad it was peaceful and he got his contact with you and your other sister. Xx

Proud Wife
Posts: 743
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Proud Wife » Sat May 20, 2017 8:21 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. Stories like this catch at my heart because it's obvious your Dad was waiting for your brother before crossing the divide. I think your Dad did really well with only one chemo. Just as you are proud of him, I'm sure he is proud of each of you for looking after him and George so well.

Don't forget to look after yourself too in the coming days/weeks.

Lots of love

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Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Dandygal76 » Sun May 21, 2017 1:15 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. We also had an amazing experience of dad just knowing. Your dad got to say his goodbyes and now he lives through you all. Cry, grieve, laugh and smile. It is the most surreal experience. We are here for you. X

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Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby jay » Sun May 21, 2017 4:26 pm

I am so sorry for your loss.
Love Jayne

Posts: 475
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Justamo » Sun May 21, 2017 9:43 pm

So sorry Quickly. It sounds peaceful and you spent time with him that really mattered to you both and to your family.


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Joined: Tue May 10, 2016 11:27 am

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Sandiemac » Mon May 22, 2017 12:20 am

My sincere condolences to you and your family. As much as anyone can be said to have had a "good" death it sounds as if your dear dad did. I'm sure he felt content he had spoken with all his children and I hope it's some comfort for you. You are in my thoughts.

Sandie x

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Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby sandraW » Mon May 22, 2017 11:14 am

Quickly, sorry to hear about your Dad, isn't it amazing how he hung on to see your bother, lovely that you got to see him one last time by facetime too. It will be surreal for you as you are so far away, I'm glad his passing was peaceful and I am sending you a ((HUG)) just in case you need one because even though you knew he was going to leave you no one ever wants to loose their "dad" take care love sandrax xx

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Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Wife&Mum » Mon May 22, 2017 2:31 pm

Dear Quickly,
Sending you my heartfelt condolences. It's good that your Dad was able to spend his last days in the hospice where he felt comfortable and cared for.
Love and hugs
W&M xx

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Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2016 6:49 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Elaine123 » Mon May 22, 2017 10:35 pm

Quickly I was sad to read your post that your Dad had passed away. I think although we know from the diagnosis what the outcome is going to be it doesn't make it any easier and we are never prepared for the end. You will be so glad you spent time with your Dad. Everyone says that time is a great healer but it is still early days for you and I and our grief is still great. One day we will be able to look back at all the happy memories. Take care Quickly and keep in touch xx

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Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2016 2:31 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby stepuha » Tue May 23, 2017 9:54 am

I am very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with your family.
X stepuha