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Quickasyoucan

Hi all

Mo thanks for checking in.

We have actually been in the hospice since Monday for symptom management as things came to a head on Sunday nigh. Dad was still insisting on taking himself to the toilet but too weak to get underwear on and off but didn't want me doing it. Hospice have been lovely. Dad says he felt relieved to be in there. I think he has finally given up trying to do everything himself.

He has had some good days and bad days since being here but they have dealt with a few issues. He has had 6.5 litres of ascites drained off his stomach and they have tweaked meds and sorted out his dry mouth. He isn't having a great day today as they helped him to clear his bowels and that has worn him out. He has also largely given up eating though he has managed a smoothie or two and a few small tubs of ice cream.

He no longer wants to return home but we have a meeting on Monday as though he is largely bedridden and seems so frail to us he is not currently considered sick enough to stay.

Anyway they are absolutely lovely I'd move in myself!!

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Hi Quickly, they are amazing places aren't they. I hope they let Dad stay if that's where he wants to be, but I do understand the bed situation they all struggle with. If he has all but stopped eating I would have thought that would be a pointer, but then what do we know. Fingers crossed for you take care love sandra x xx

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Hi Quickly...he may start to feel a bit better with the ascites being drained off...but then it depends on how quickly it returns...Nige had 7.5 litres drained, but a few days later it began creeping back and when he died less than a week later, they drained a further 5 litres off.


It sounds to me like he's in the best place at the minute and if I were you, I'd fight for him to stay.


Much love,


Vx

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I agree with Veema. I would hold your ground and just say that it's impossible to care for him at home. I appreciate the hospice beds are precious but I really do think your Dad's in the best place for him and that's all that matters.


Good luck xx

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Quickasyoucan

Just a quick update. Dad has done a Lazarus thanks to the ascites removal which has temporarily also removed all his lymphedema and a short course of steroids. He is now back to eating meals and up and walking with a frame. Danger is he will overdo it knowing him. He is also enjoying a daily jacuzzi at the hospice!! He would now like to go to a nursing home for 24 hour care so we are working on that. 10 mcg patch is keeping any pain under control. So for the moment we are having some of Elaine's diamond days !! Best wishes to all.

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Hi Qickly that's is great news about your Dad it will feel lovely to have him back to himself again....diamond days indeed. It is also good that he is thinking of his future care needs and realising that he does need care. That will meet his needs also will give you peace of mind that he is being looked after and there is always someone there if he needs them. I am really happy for you both .....take care and sending you hugs.

Elaine

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Quickasyoucan

Hi all dad had a very good week thanks to the steroids and the great work of the hospice. We even managed to drive him to mums grave yesterday. We have just moved him to a v nice nursing home as he obviously was too well currently for the hospice but he may be readmitted in a week or so for ascites drainage as they are building up again. Unfortunately he has also caught a cold but has managed lunch and is now lying down as worn out. Anyway hopefully he will feel better tomorrow

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Quickasyoucan

Thank you. I cannot commend the hospice highly enough as with symptom management we have had 2 really good weeks. Dad is currently in no pain from the cancer and has enjoyed daily jacuzzis and constant attention there from the nurses!! He has his appetite back and the new nursing home we moved to today seems lovely. Though he has a cold he really is in a much better place than 2 weeks ago when we were struggling to cope at home as he wouldn't let us help with personal care. He said he feels like a huge burden is off him now he has decided to accept care. He has been calling his friends and FaceTiming. This is 180 degree turn around from 2 weeks ago. I finally have to go back to oz on Wednesday as have already extended twice but am happy to have him settled and safe and at the moment doing well x

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Quickly, its good news that your dad is settled and feeling more able to cope, and also hear that he is not in any pain too.

I can understand him not wanting you to give him personal care, he would have felt he was loosing some of his dignity, as you are his daughters. that would not have been the case of course all you wanted was to care for him, but these strong independent men are funny creatures at the best of times.

Now he is settled in the nursing home, you know he will get the help he needs, to have a good quality of life again.

It must be really really hard for you having to leave him, and also knowing you are going back to a home without Jake, a lot for you to take onboard I am sure. sending strength love and (hugs) and I hope you have a safe journey home, love sandrax xx

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Quickasyoucan

Thank you Sandra I am dreading my empty house but it is another hurdle to get over. Hopefully there will be some light on the horizon some time as you do start to feel the world is an unrelenting place.

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Hey Quickly, my dad was the same. I never dealt with his personal care and had to call the staff in at the hospital because I knew he would never want that. It was frustrating because I could have dealt with it more quickly but it is that generation I think. I am glad he is feeling better in himself. Treasure your time with him. x

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Hello Quickly. Just popping in to say home things are still fairly calm with you.


I understand how hard it is to think about going home without having your lovely Jake to meet you. I planted something special in my garden in memory of each of the cats who have died over the years and I find it quite comforting to spend a minute or two at their special spots.


Thinking of you,

Love Mo

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Quickasyoucan

Hi all I am home to my house which smells of jake but has no jake. I had a lovely personal card from the vet telling me I did the right thing and also a letter from the veterinary association saying he had made a donation in memory of jake which was lovely. Unfortunately our pic roller coaster is down as dad's cold has turned into an infection whilst I travelled home. He is still v drowsy today my sister says but abit more lucid. We just have to take each day as it comes. He is not in pain just sleeping.

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Quickly sorry to hear Dad's not too good at the moment it must be such a worry for you but we just have to get on with life in such circumstances, as hard as it is.

What lovely thing for the vet to do making a donation in Jake's memory.

I had my old Siamese cat Oscar put down just before I went on holiday nearly 2 years ago, as I knew he wasn't well enough to spend time in the cattery whilst I was away. When I came home I could still feel his presence, and I felt as though I kept seeing him out of the corner of my eye. When he was alive he loved to go out for an hour in the late evening, when it was quiet, but all I had to do was open the back door and shout Osky its bed time, and he would duly saunter home, if it didn't work the first time a quick rattle of the cat biscuits meant he was soon there. For the first week or so I would find myself opening the door at bedtime ready to shout him in, before I remembered he was gone! I am sure you will miss Jake dreadfully, perhaps in a little while you might consider getting another companion, they will never takes Jake's place but it does help to mend the hurt a little, take care love sandrax xx

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Quickasyoucan

Thank you Sandra for your kind words. Dad is improving and has even had a visit from his youngest grandchild and texted a pic through. My brother is down for a week now to be with him which is lovely.

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Quickasyoucan

Hi Lazarus aka Dad is back on the up again sorting himself out a bigger bed, having his daily jacuzzi and getting his pictures hung in his room with the help of his able assistant my brother.

Although Dad is relatively frail he is eating, enjoying wheelchair trips in the garden and the sunshine. My brother is the last one of us 4 who is now getting to spend time with dad and I consider us blessed in that regard.

It is over 6 months now since dad's first symptoms and I think he has done really well given he is 83.

I am FaceTiming him each night. As far as I am concerned every good day he has is a good day for our family. Best wishes to all x

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Quickasyoucan

Dad is still defying prognosis and is in good spirits though he is reasonably frail and his ascites need draining again. Hopefully that will happen tomorrow at the latest with a 2 day stay back at the hospice. He is still watching tv, reading the paper and FaceTiming us all. My sister is back from hols my brother did a fantastic job caring for dad whilst she was away. I am just grateful for ever day we have with dad comfortable and getting pleasure out of life. Best wishes to everyone out there.

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Hi Quickly, nice to know that Dad is running things again.


Have you thought about planting a tree or shrub in memory of Jake ? I have five little engraved plaques in my garden (we've been here for forty years) remembering precious family members who happened to be cats.


Kind thoughts from Boris (his friends call him Boo) and me.

Mo

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Quickasyoucan

Justamo I too am a tree shrub planter. I have a tree in a pot for my mum which had its first ever flower on my arrival back in oz. I will do the same for jake too as I think it is lovely to have a living memorial. Best wishes to Boo.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Elaine123

Hi Quickly just on to catch up and find out how your Dad is doing ? How are you feeling at being back home again , the good thing is you seen your Dad settled which is good. Take care

Elaine

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