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Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 8:50 pm
by Proud Wife
Oh DG you couldn't have summed it up any better. Spot on. I'm hurting and the first person I'd turn to would be hubby.....

Marmalade, absolutely. How I wish we all didn't understand xxx

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:48 pm
by Marmalade
Coming to the end of another day. It's been a hard one. We have daily discussions about whether we should move Louis. When everyone thinks it will be his last day it's hard to justify pulling him about or rolling him. We took the bull by the horns and decided to wash him and this time to turn him. We were very shocked that he groaned and that his pyjamas had creased on his back and almost made cuts in him. He had bruises where his neck and shoulders had been touching the pillows. I texted the doc immediately and she came at once and bumped up his morphine and the district nurses have been to check him over and put pressure dressings on. They were both so kind and said it is very common in cases like this as he has no flesh at all and his skin is paper thin, inevitable they say. It has not stopped me thinking I have let him down badly.

Suzie and I have wept and apologised to him but have no idea if he hears, I pray he does.

Not my best day but Louis is still very peaceful and breathing is stronger if anything, he is such a trooper.

M xx

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 9:45 pm
by Dandygal76
I am not very good on phone Internet so sorry if this does not type well. He hears you lovely lady... they say hearing is last to go. And I understand you are upset but you can only make your choices at the time. You have devoted youself to allowing Louis to pass with dignity and pride and don't let this detail distract from what a fantastic job you have done... we are in awe of you. Now please no longer say sorry to him. Let your last words be everything of love and beautiful memories... just like you know he likes it. Very much love to you. X

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 10:47 pm
by Proud Wife
Oh M, you have done nothing but your best for Louis. You have absolutely nothing to say sorry for. And Louis knows that. You are clearly exhausted both mentally and physically and probably wondering how much more you can take. Hang on in there lovely brave inspirational special lady.

Love PW xxx

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:53 am
by Marmalade
Good morning everyone,

My darling Louis died peacefully at about 8.30 this morning. His ordeal is over.

Through the mercy of God may he rest in peace.

M xx

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 11:09 am
by Ant11
Dear M, You and Suzie are very much in my thoughts and prayers as your wonderful Louis has earned his wings and will now fly high with our loved ones on the other side. The sun is shining brightly as he makes his final journey home. Your strength, care and devotion has never faltered. He will always be by your side guiding you through the coming days, weeks and months along with your forum friends. Love Annette xxx

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 11:50 am
by Proud Wife
Dearest M

Thinking of you. As you know, you can contact me day or night if you just need to talk off forum.

All my love
PW xx

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 12:20 pm
by PCUK Nurse Jeni
Dear Marmalade,

We are so very sorry to hear of the passing of your beloved Louis this morning.

On behalf of all the nurses, may we extend our deepest condolences to you and Suzie and the rest of the family at such a heartbreaking time.

As you have described, his ordeal is over.

Thank you for all your loving updates throughout this journey. You have certainly inspired so many people on the forums.

Our deepest sympathies,

Nursing Team,

Pancreatic Cancer UK.

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 12:34 pm
by Wife&Mum
Rest in peace Louis.
Much love Marmalade, so sad for you.
W&M xx

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 12:53 pm
by Dandygal76
Dearest Marmalade, I am so sorry that Louis has passed and crossed the divide. He battled bravely and we all feel so proud of him, even though we never met him. You know we are here for you at this hardest of times. Much love to you, Suzie and the rest of the family. x

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 3:19 pm
by boa
Marmalade I don't post now but I have been keeping up to date with what has been happening. I was sorry to read that Louis died this morning but I'm so pleased it was peaceful. No matter how prepared any of us are for a loved one's death it is, nevertheless, agonisingly sad and I am thinking of you and the family.
Catherine

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 5:29 pm
by jay
I am so sorry Marmalade, glad Louis's passing was peaceful. Who have been totally amazing. I am thinking of you and your daughter, massive, massive cyber hugs
love Jayne
xxxx

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 6:05 pm
by Sandiemac
Even though you have been expecting this on a daily basis it must still be a terrible shock for you but you can rest assured you did everything (and more) humanly possible to help him through this. I am full of admiration for you.

My deepest condolences.
Sandie x

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 7:22 pm
by Linda G
Dear Marmalade, I am so very sorry to read of your lovely Louis' passing. That it was so peaceful is down to your's and Suzie's never ending love and care. I know how hard it's been for you. So sad for you. I haven't been posting lately but I have been following your story. Your love and devotion to Louis shines from your every post. A very special couple. Don't forget to take care of yourself.
Love and prayers to you all.
Linda G.
XX

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 7:29 pm
by Didge
My dear Marmalade, my love and tender thoughts are with you xx