A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

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nikkis
Posts: 513
Joined: Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:29 am

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby nikkis » Fri Sep 19, 2014 11:33 am

Dear Jayne,
I am so sorry to hear that Jem has lost his brave fight, I can hardly begin to imagine what you are going through. You are right it is disgraceful that pain is not better managed. A hospice doctor told us that a previously fit young male can need and tolerate vastly larger quantities of painkillers than an older person with the same disease, and Diamorphine is not always the best thing for pancreatic cancer sufferers, but this message does not seem to be getting through.
I wish you and Jessica the strength to get through the coming days and weeks. You have been relentless in your determination to get the best care for Jem, and your love for each other shone through your writing, and that love will always be with you.
Take care,
Nikki

sandraW
Posts: 1040
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby sandraW » Fri Sep 19, 2014 1:46 pm

Jayne, so so sorry you have lost your beloved Jem, as Nikki says you have done everything possible to make sure he got the best care. I am sending cyber (((hugs))) to you and to Jessica please take care and come back and visit us here when you feel able to. sandrax xx

rsk1974
Posts: 80
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 1:21 pm

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby rsk1974 » Fri Sep 19, 2014 9:15 pm

So sorry, I hope you and your daughter look after each other. It is truly a horrific cancer.xx

SusannaUK
Posts: 112
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2014 3:32 pm

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby SusannaUK » Sat Sep 20, 2014 12:01 am

Dear Jayne,
I am so sorry to read the sad news, that Jem lost his battle, there are no words. My heart goes out to you and your daughter. Keep strong.
Susanna xxx

belgrade
Posts: 157
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:53 pm

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby belgrade » Sat Sep 20, 2014 12:12 am

So sorry to hear that your husband has lost his fight against this cruel disease. My thoughts are with you and your daughter.
Take care,
Hilary

Annie14
Posts: 60
Joined: Tue Dec 03, 2013 5:19 pm

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby Annie14 » Sat Sep 20, 2014 8:52 am

Hi Jayne,

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. Sending you hugs and best wishes. xxx

Fiona

LMD
Posts: 120
Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby LMD » Sat Sep 20, 2014 8:57 am

So sorry x

Slewis7313
Posts: 688
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 8:48 pm

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby Slewis7313 » Sat Sep 20, 2014 9:08 am

Dear Jayne, I am really sorry to hear that you have lost Jem to this awful thing and that 'the system' could have done much better in supporting you both.

Take care and thinking of you.

Steve
X

Cathy
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby Cathy » Sat Sep 20, 2014 6:38 pm

Hi Jayne

I'm so sorry to hear your very sad news.

Take all the support offered. You and your daughter will get through this very difficult time.

You did a great job caring for Jem.

With love

Cathy xx

sandraW
Posts: 1040
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby sandraW » Sun Oct 02, 2016 1:42 pm

Jayne,
I am sorry if I have upset you by posting on your thread, but I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and Jessica xx.
Its hard to believe that its 2 years since you lost your beloved Jem, I have just been re-reading your posts and realised how much like Jem's death Trevor's was, it was obviously a massive infection, that killed them both and not so much the disease, perhaps in hindsight it was for the best, I hope you can understand what I mean.
I read on another thread that someone had asked if you still loved Jem.....people really do say the strangest things, I hope you didn't punch them.....no wonder you cried my love.
I also want to thank you, I know you don't post about how you are doing, but you pop on here and offer support to everyone else, so thank you.
I hope Jessica is doing okay its devastating to loose your dad, I was 17 when I lost mine, but she was only 9, so it must have been very hard, has she gone to high school now, I hope she is enjoying it. Please take care, sending you both a cyber ((hug)) and love sandrax xx

jay
Posts: 407
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby jay » Sun Oct 02, 2016 6:28 pm

Ah Sandra thank you so much for thinking of me and Jessica. She's doing really well. (I think ) She took up ice skating and its been a blessing as Ive made a new circle of friends and it got me out the house.
I gave up work (2 nd thing in Jem's manual, he knew me too well ) as I decided teaching just took too much of my time at home and wanted to be there for Jessica. I still pop into my old school as a volunteer which I love but just for a couple of hours every few weeks.
We went to Florida in the summer and stayed at Animal Kingdom Lodge and on the day which would have been my silver wedding anniversary swam with the dolphins.
I think Ive finally accepted he's not coming home and over the last 2 years people have said the most amazing things but I thinks it because they really don't know what to say. One friend said "You have been so strong Jayne, if it had been my husband I would have been devastated " I bit my tongue and replied, I have a 9 year old daughter .

Massive hugs to you Sandra. Your Trevor had biliary sepsis and I remember diagnosing Jem's from your thread which amazed the hospital staff.

To everyone who is on this journey never give up hope and to those you have lost someone Jem said a week before he died "Remember the good times and not the illness."

Jayne
xxx

Marmalade

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby Marmalade » Sun Oct 02, 2016 6:50 pm

Dear Jayne,

I have such respect for you and your daughter. You are obviously doing a great job, making the new part of your journey happy and fulfilling for you both. Everyone in our position knows its hard picking up the threads and learning to enjoy life again. Its a complex adjustment. I don't know you or Sandra but I know something of the journey so I hope you will both accept my love and good wishes as a sister with a common bond and know that you are always loved. M xx

jay
Posts: 407
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby jay » Sun Oct 02, 2016 7:08 pm

Thank you Marmalade sending my love back to you, take each day at a time, a cliché I know but I remember my Doctor telling me you get up live the day and get back into bed and that's an achievement, don't think of next week or next month she was so right.
x

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby Veema » Sun Oct 02, 2016 10:10 pm

Jayne, I've just read all this thread...it's heartening to hear that Jessica is doing well, as Phoebe is a similar age having just had her Daddy die.

Much love

Vx

Dandygal76
Posts: 762
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: lurking on the fringes for 10 months

Postby Dandygal76 » Fri Oct 07, 2016 6:55 pm

Wow... I thought I had read every story on here. Jayne, you was amazing and I am glad your lovely daughter is thriving. I am sure that is because her lovely daddy lives through her. xx