A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

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Posts: 826
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Didge » Wed May 13, 2015 10:45 pm

Leila, I have not posted much recently but am so glad the funeral went well and am glad that you are going to keep posting when you feel able - I would miss you! Sending you lots of love, Didge xx

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Joined: Sun Jan 12, 2014 1:21 am

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Janiebobs » Sat May 16, 2015 7:39 pm

Dear Leila,
I rarely come onto the site now so I have just read your sad news. I was so sorry to hear about your Dad.
It does get easier Leila, though I still miss my dad loads.
You are in my thoughts
Jane x

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Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:15 am

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby J_T » Mon May 18, 2015 4:39 pm

So pleased everything went well. Take care x


Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Fifi » Tue May 19, 2015 10:36 am

Thank you all yet again for your lovely messages.

Dad being gone has left a very big hole in my life. I miss him waking me up early in the morning, just to tell me he had had breakfast. I miss him ringing me throughout the day to tell me about his wins, or losses on the horse racing. Strangely enough, I miss calling the hospital and speaking to the many people I did. They were part of my daily life. I miss hugging my Dad, and him tapping me on my head to remind me how short I am. I miss his Yorkshire puddings. I miss just looking at him.

I still feeli like I need to do something. I need to still help him. I know that sounds odd, but I do. Something needs to be done. Far too many people are losing their lives. Nearly every single new post on here starts with, we were misdiagnosed, including my own. That needs to change.

Leila xxx

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Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby sandraW » Tue May 19, 2015 1:13 pm

Hi Leila,

I know just how you feel, I am feeling the same, I suppose all we can do is find a way to get more awareness, especially from GP's. but the message I hear all tha time that it is so difficult to diagnose, have you joined the PC Facebook page? there are ways there you can get involved.

take care love sandrax

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Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2014 3:32 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby SusannaUK » Wed May 20, 2015 3:16 pm

Dear Leila,

I am so sorry to read that your lovely Dad has passed away. I've just read back a few pages on your thread, as I haven't been on the forum for a while. I am just sitting here and crying. Your Dad was amazing and you've been a wonderful daughter, you've done everything what you could for your Dad. The letter you wrote to the funeral is beautiful.
I know what you mean when you say that something needs to be done. I feel the same still. Tomorrow will be 6 months that my lovely husband passed away and I still cannot believe it and still feel that I need to do something. I haven't been well in the last two months, it is just hitting me again and I cry every day many times.
You gave your Dad an amazing support throughout his battle with this terrible cancer, I am sure he was very proud of you!
I wish you all the strength and please look after yourself.
Lots of love,
Susanna xxx

Posts: 120
Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby LMD » Thu May 21, 2015 8:17 pm

I'm so so sorry for your loss.
Your Dad will have been comforted so much knowing you were by his side all of the time and that you were there for him whenever he needed you. You could not have done more for your Dad.

Please look after yourself. I hope, in time, the good, happy memories will provide some comfort to you. Lots of love xxx


Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Fifi » Fri May 22, 2015 3:22 pm

Thank you Sandra, Susanna and LMD.

I am not on Facebook Sandra, but I have decided to write the Ombudsman about the GP that misdiagnosed Dad, and all the other GP's that misdiagnose everyone else on this site. I am also going to write to David Cameron. Probably won't do any good, but I have to do something.

Leila xxx

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Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Cathy » Sun May 24, 2015 7:45 pm

Hi Leila

Your mentioning about missing ringing up the hospital made sense to me. After Jonathan died it wasn't just Jonathan not being here that was gone, but everything that came with him too. Like you with your Dad my life was taken over with caring for him and when someone dies, all of that goes.

If it helps, it does get easier and you will find things that will occupy your time. I've done stuff for PCUK which goes a little way as well for me to give something back for the support I got from them. I've met some amazing people through them. I talk a lot to a number of the people I met through the forum and that helps a lot too as they went through what I went through at the same time. I push myself to do new things outside of my comfort zone, travel, have bought a bike (help!).. it all helps.

Still early days for you but in time you will see that things are a little bit easier.

Take care

Cathy xxx

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Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Didge » Mon May 25, 2015 12:55 pm

Yes, I remember when my husband died years ago, we were doing Gerson (I did have help from friends on some days for that) so as well as 3 children under 6, and a terminally ill husband to look after we were also doing 13 fresh juices a day, enemas etc. When he died i wondered what I would do with my time as if having 3 children under six as a now single parent, wasn't enough! I think the intensity of the situation, the battles, the worry - it's like being in a war zone and when that is gone, life does seem empty for a while in a strange sort of way. I coped by planning days out, new things to do, even if I didn't feel like it - and gradually things improved. xxx


Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Fifi » Sat Jun 06, 2015 10:44 am

I feel like every day is harder than the one before. My phone is so quiet. Nobody rings me and I don't make any calls. My days off work, I'm lost. My days at work, I'm lost. Dad doesn't text me to tell me what he's having for dinner.
Everyone at work are still complaining about their menial problems, and singing to the radio. They ask me if I've had a good weekend, I say no, they say why not?!
I do not want to be at work. I do not want to leave the house.

I got my Dad's ashes back last Monday. I am comforted that I have him with me.

Not one person, apart from people who have lost on this forum, understands what I am going through. No one even tries to either.

Leila xx

Posts: 1047
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby sandraW » Tue Jun 09, 2015 1:12 pm

Glad you have got your Dad back home, Trevor is on his coffee table and he blends in with the wallpaper beautifully, I too am glad to have him back home. I have emailed you take care love sandrax

Posts: 519
Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 8:22 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Sueoliver » Tue Jun 09, 2015 8:36 pm

Leila I can imagine how hard it is. I will email you.
Sue x

jules 2015
Posts: 55
Joined: Mon Sep 23, 2013 10:20 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby jules 2015 » Sun Jun 14, 2015 12:45 am

Hi Leila
I do not come on the forum very often these days but am really sorry to hear about your dad. He was a very brave man and you did everything you could to support him.
I lost my dad a year and a half ago and still miss him terribly. I think the sadness of losing him to this terrible disease will stay with me forever. I know what you mean about mindless people at work aswing if you've had a good weekend etc. Unfortunately they just don't understand. Christmas is one of the hardest times for me and people just don't understand when I say we got through it. life will never be the same without our lovely dads.
Take care and just take each day as it comes. I found taking up a new hobby helped in the early days. Julie x

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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 9:58 am

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Bryansie » Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:12 pm

Dear Leila,
I have joined this site for the same reason as everyone else. I lost both my parents to Bowel cancer and now my brother has pancreatic, reading your posts felt like it was me writing them, you were supportive to so many people when you were going through so much yourself.

You and your dad were wonderful positive people throughout your journey, you will find strength to get through each day for your dads memory, thankgoodness you were there for your dad, now everyone on this site is here for you.
I felt very disillusioned when my parents died due to lack of support they received, my mum died within 6 weeks of her complaining of a pain, she had no support from anyone, I had to tell her a week beofre she died that she was dying as the hospital said "they had not done all the tests on her" therefore they could not get mcmillian involved without a diagnosis. I was very angry for many years. Now I feel the same with my brother they have sent him home to die.

I hope you can get some comfort from all these posts and totally understand how you feel, when you said you went into Morrissons and everyone was smiling and carrying on life as normal and that you wanted to scream, I have lived that so many times " how dare they be happy when your heart is breaking.

Reading your posts from start to finish you are an inspiration, sending you big hugs and much much love.