A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

Moderator: volmod

Forum rules
Please see the messages in our "Rules" section

The posts on this discussion board are made by members of the General Public and are not intended to constitute medical advice
Fifi

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Fifi » Sun Apr 26, 2015 7:11 pm

Thank you all again, for your lovely replies.

I think I am in shock at losing Dad. For the last 18 months, I have thought about losing him every day. Now I have, I don't feel like I am human, but like someone looking in. In that makes sense?



BOWIE, does James still suffer with Diarrhoea? Although it took a while for Dad to realise this was true, fillet steak really helped the diarrhoea. Yes, he would still have diarrhoea! But not until the next morning after breakfast. Do you think it is worth trying for a few days?


Leila xxx

pollron
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2015 10:03 am

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby pollron » Sun Apr 26, 2015 8:51 pm

So sorry to hear your sad news xx

jay
Posts: 407
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby jay » Mon Apr 27, 2015 9:11 am

Leila, its only natural what you are describing, its as if you are out of your body watching a dream, sending you my love.(7 months on and I still feel like im dreaming.)
Would it be ok if you passed your address to Jeni for me so I could send you a card.
love Jayne
x

sandraW
Posts: 1047
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby sandraW » Mon Apr 27, 2015 9:12 pm

Leila, that is exactly what I said, its was as though we were all taking part in a play or drama and that when it finished Trevor would recover and we would all go home and life would be just as it had been before. Now I am doing all the practical things, its somehow easier, but it hasn't really hit me yet, I don't think.
My youngest son is still staying here as he is 3 and a half hours away, my eldest has been coming over daily as he is only just over an hour, and we have today sorted the funeral or "celebration" I should say. I hope you have someone to help you with everything. take care love sandrax xx

Fifi

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Fifi » Tue Apr 28, 2015 9:31 am

Sandra,

Very very true. Weird feeling isn't it? Dad has been gone 1 week today and I still feel numb about it. People think I am coping, but I'm not. I think my mind has shut down and gone into robot mode. Dreading coming back.
Pleased you have your sons with you. There is so much to sort out. Some very very hard things to have to do. We still want to do our best don't we?

You take care too.

Leila xxx

Sueoliver
Posts: 519
Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 8:22 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Sueoliver » Tue Apr 28, 2015 10:42 pm

Hi Leila,
If it is ok with you please could I have your address to send a card? I feel like we have travelled some of this journey together and I think of you often.
Love Sue x

Fifi

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Fifi » Wed Apr 29, 2015 9:53 am

Thank you Jayne and Sue. I have emailed Jeni/Dianne my details.

I would like to do another post when I have time about Dad's funeral.

Thank you again for everyone's support, not just now, but for all the time I have been on this forum.

Leila xxx

PCUK Nurse Dianne
Posts: 297
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:29 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby PCUK Nurse Dianne » Wed Apr 29, 2015 7:27 pm

Dear Leila,

On behalf of all the staff at Pancreatic Cancer UK we also send our heartfelt condolences to you at this sad time. Like so many others we have shared your journey and your immense love and support of Dad, and we feel that we know him through your sharing of his journey. I also know that your wonderful 'forum family' feel very supported for all you have shared with them along their own individual journeys and appreciate your support, guidance and love to them too.

I have emailed you and the other girls who wanted contact and know you will support each other in the days ahead.

We are thinking of you with our deepest sympathy Leila, and special thoughts of Dad at peace.

Dianne, Jeni, Rachel and Chris,
Pancreatic Cancer Specialist Nurses,
Support Team
Pancreatic Cancer UK

Cathy
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Cathy » Wed Apr 29, 2015 10:09 pm

Deal Leila

I am so so sorry to read your posts and to he pear that you have lost your lovely Dad.

You probably will be feeling very numb at the speed in the end, and what you have been through but it sounds like your Dad was at peace and you will always know that you always did absolutely everything you could have done. One day that will be a great comfort to you.

Thinking of you in the days and weeks ahead.

Take care and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it

Cathy xxx

Fifi

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Fifi » Sun May 03, 2015 7:14 pm

Thank you for your replies.

Dads service is on Tuesday.

We are walking in to Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeplin.
I am then going to read a letter which I have just written.
The minister will then do a tribute to Dad.
Song to the Siren by Tim Buckley will then play.
There will then be a reading called Death is Nothing at all.
Then a poem called Reason.
Then the Committal.
Will then walk out to Hotel California by The Eagles.

We are then going to Dad's favourite pub where they have cordoned off the area he used to sit, and have done a buffet.

I hope my Dad is there and approves of the service. It has been so hard to do, but I have done everything how I thought Dad would want, and not how I would want.

Leila xx

nikkis
Posts: 513
Joined: Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:29 am

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby nikkis » Sun May 03, 2015 7:25 pm

Hi Leila,
You have done such a fantastic job in planning a lovely service all about your dear Dad. I am sure he would approve and be so very proud of you,

Lots of love,
Nikki

Fifi

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Fifi » Sun May 03, 2015 7:29 pm

Thank you Nikki. I have done my absolute best.

I wasn't going to post this letter until afterwards. But I will do. This is what I am reading to my Dad on Tuesday.



Dad,

I could write lots of pages with things I want to say.
I could speak to you all day, anything to stop you going.
But I can't.
So I just want to tell you, that you are the best Dad ever and I will never forget anything about you.
I will still smile at the daft things you used to say.
I can still hear you telling me all about horse racing, and getting annoyed at me when I never understood it, and I still don't.
I can hear you telling me which lagers and wines to drink, and to make sure the lager is ice cold, and to drink it straight away.
You would still even, at 36, tell me to look both ways when I cross the road, and not to talk to strangers.

I will still love you everyday.

I hope you know that I stayed with you when you were in hospital, and that I did everything I possibly could do to help you. You were never alone. I was always holding your hand.

I hope you come back from time to time, and see that I am looking after your things, as of course I would do....that I do look both ways when I cross the road.....that I don't talk to strangers, and that I do eat, and not just at your house.

I really hope you know that I love you very much, and that you are a true hero for everything you have gone through, and everything you have had to deal with. You are amazing. I am proud to be your daughter.

Until we meet again Dad.

Leila
xxx

nikkis
Posts: 513
Joined: Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:29 am

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby nikkis » Sun May 03, 2015 7:31 pm

Absolutely perfect Leilax

sandraW
Posts: 1047
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby sandraW » Sun May 03, 2015 7:54 pm

Really really beautiful Leila, and thank you for my lovely flowers, I received them on Friday, sorry I haven't replied earlier but my internet keeps going on the blink, posted on here went to send you an email and it wouldn't work so I will email you later tonight. providing we don't get any more terrible rain, at least it saved me a job and I didn't have to water the garden. (loss of Internet and rain seem related).

Hi Nikki, hope you and your girls are doing ok,

love sandrax xx

Sueoliver
Posts: 519
Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 8:22 pm

Re: Wish someone would help him

Postby Sueoliver » Sun May 03, 2015 10:06 pm

Hi Leila,
I will be thinking of you on Tuesday. Beautiful words your love shines through! Your Dad would be very proud of you. I love Hotel California.
Take care of yourself as well.
Love Sue xxx