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Cathy
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby Cathy » Thu Feb 13, 2014 7:44 pm

Hi Larrybee,

You sound very brave and I hope your hubby is able to come home soon and that you can enjoy some great quality time together and he is comfortable. Hopefully your palliative care nurse will be as good as ours was (still is, she is visiting me tomorrow). I'm sure s/he will be. It takes a special kind of person to do that job.

As Emma said, we are here for you when you need us.

I'm sure you will stay strong for your man but be kind to yourself and allow yourself space and time to have a wobble when you need one.

What is your husband's name?

Cathy

Larrybee
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:20 pm

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby Larrybee » Fri Feb 14, 2014 5:44 pm

Hi Cathy and Emma - Thank you so much for your support - it means a lot. My husband's name is John. Yesterday I bought a Valentine's card and left it with him to write something in as he was distressed that we weren't doing our usual special Valentine evening. What he wrote (with very wobbly writing) I will always treasure.
Today they were going to remove his bile bag and insert the stent, so he went all day nil by mouth and have just heard that an emergency prevented the procedure taking place, so will be done on Monday as they want the whole 'team' to be there. He's quite philosophical about it (probably the anti-depressant!). Saw the specialist nurse today who was very sensitive and helpful. Hope to have him home middle of next week and am now about to find a good reclining chair for him so he can sit comfortably in our conservatory and watch the birds.
Have been told that we will be seen in outpatients a couple of weeks after he comes home to discuss possibility of chemo; although the nurse said that unless he can put on some weight she thinks he won't be a candidate for this. One day at a time is our motto now.

Cathy
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby Cathy » Fri Feb 14, 2014 7:08 pm

Ahh Larrybee

Keep that card!! Let us hope there will be many more. I've got my Jonathan's card up from last year. I remember well us swapping them.. Both in tears with what was written in each. We were a right pair of soppy Hector's. :)

How annoying about today but hopefully John will be done on Monday and home with you as planned in his new recliner, and hopefully, will start to feel better with the stent in and start putting on weight again.

Everything crossed for you both

Cathy xxx

J_T
Posts: 954
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:15 am

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby J_T » Sat Feb 15, 2014 12:15 am

I still have my last birthday card from Ray up in my bedroom.It was 10 days before he died, also with very wobbly writing. I'm going to frame it. I shed a tear every time I read it.

Hope Johns procedure goes well and he gets home soon.

Julia x

InfoForMum
Posts: 332
Joined: Mon Aug 19, 2013 12:01 pm

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby InfoForMum » Sat Feb 15, 2014 1:21 am

Ladies I'm so sorry this is so hard on you all. Larrybee, I was really struck by that post. You are being so strong and pragmatic. Another example of the enormous well of strength all you ladies seem to draw on when most folk would crumble. Make sure you keep your own strength up too and take time for yourself if you can.

Sarah
XXX

Larrybee
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:20 pm

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby Larrybee » Thu Feb 20, 2014 6:07 pm

Well, it's not been the best of weeks. On Monday John went down to have the bile bag removed and the stent inserted via his abdomen (as couldn't do it with the endoscopy thought tried twice). Sadly, they still couldn't manage to insert the stent - so he still has his bag and is visibly weaker and very low in himself. Doctors are going to have another try at inserting stent via abdomen within the next few days and we have been told that if this is not successful they will perform a bypass of the blockage in the bile duct. Am praying that they will be successful this time, so that he doesn't have to undergo any more procedures and I can get him back home. Have been out and bought him an riser/recliner armchair so that he can sit comfortably in the conservatory and watch his birds in the garden. Our dog Molly can't quite make out why her favourite old sofa has gone and she's not allowed on the new chair! Keep telling her he will be home soon - it's like having a child!
Fingers crossed for success with this next attempt, but would be interested to hear from anyone who can tell me more about the bypass procedure.
Once again, thank you all for the great support you give - so many of us going through this or having gone through it and it's so good to share with people who understand.

Fifi

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby Fifi » Thu Feb 20, 2014 9:07 pm

Hi,

Sorry to read the dilemma you are in. I always thought having a choice would be easier than not having a choice, but reading your post, I would say not. What a horrible, traumatic decision to have to make. Do you trust in the doctors to offer you good advice? My dad has recently been diagnosed and they say his pancreas is inoperable as it is advanced and spread. I hope you are getting better medical care from nurses, than what we have had so far.

Leila x

Fifi

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby Fifi » Thu Feb 20, 2014 9:13 pm

Sorry, just read all the posts. If these are the right words, I hope you have some comfort in fact the decision was made for you. I think I would always be questioning whether I did right or wrong. I hope your husband is home soon, I'm sure he will get lots of love from molly, they know when we are poorly and look after us.
Best wishes
Leila x

PCUK Nurse Jeni
Posts: 1087
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:30 pm

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:07 pm

Hi Larrybee,

Sorry to hear what John is going through right now. Hopefully, the next attempt will go well, and they will manage to get the stent in. Have they said the reasons why they are unable to insert it?
You can read more about the bypass surgery here, on page 5:
http://www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/medi ... _print.pdf

I hope Molly and John are reunited soon - she is probably confused too, and missing her master, no doubt.

Kind regards,

Jeni, Support Team.

Cathy
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby Cathy » Fri Feb 21, 2014 6:02 pm

Hi Larrybee

Absolutely everything crossed for you. Hope John is home soon to test out his new chair and chat to Molly.

Loads of love

Cathy xx

Larrybee
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:20 pm

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby Larrybee » Fri Feb 21, 2014 9:27 pm

Thanks again for all the lovely, comforting comments. I'm having a 'not so good' evening and can't settle to TV or anything, so have come on here and find it helps to write things down like this.
John is having the second attempt at inserting the stent through his abdomen tomorrow. Apparently, Jenni, the first attempt was unsuccessful because the duct is so narrow - presumably from the pressure of the tumour. Am not sure, from talking to one of his doctors today, whether the bypass will now be an option if tomorrow doesn't work out. She was talking about him coming home with the bile bag if unsuccessful, and putting us in touch with the Palliative Care team and Marie Curie nurses. Time is so important, and every day in hospital is one less day we have to share properly together - although I do pray that the stent can go in and then he will be so much more comfortable when he comes home. They have also mentioned to us the risks of infection with the bag; just hope my nursing instincts are good enough. Am now doing off the wall things, like buying extra bed linen (his bag frequently leaks) - it makes me feel as though I am doing something positive!
Once again, thanks to all of you who have put responses on here; I really do appreciate them.

nikkis
Posts: 513
Joined: Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:29 am

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby nikkis » Fri Feb 21, 2014 11:48 pm

Hi,
Really hope it goes ok tomorrow. They made 3 attempts to get a stent in my husband endoscopically, They were successful when they next tried through his abdomen. It was a little uncomfortable for a day or too afterwards but other than that ok, so crossing fingers that they are successful tomorrow.
Nikki

cestrian
Posts: 220
Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2013 12:20 pm

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby cestrian » Sat Feb 22, 2014 8:15 am

Sounds like you and John are having a really tough time. Best wishes for success tomorrow so that he can get home and sit in his chair with Molly at his feet. I've no experience of stents or bypasses, thank goodness but trust they can manage to effect the best option for John without further hold ups.

Love and Peace

Mike

Slewis7313
Posts: 688
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 8:48 pm

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby Slewis7313 » Sat Feb 22, 2014 11:36 am

Sorry to hear they are struggling so much with the stent, but I certainly hope the next attempt does the trick. I, like Mike have no experience with stents as my tumour developed in the lower part of the Pancreas head (Uncinate Process) which is not too close to the bile duct, but unfortunately snuggles right up to the blood vessels. I do however know that the stent works very well once in place. Again, good luck for tomorrow.

Steve
X

Larrybee
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:20 pm

Re: Overwhelmed - husband diagnosed, in hospital - decisions

Postby Larrybee » Sat Feb 22, 2014 5:34 pm

SUCCESS! Thanks again for all the supportive comments - the stent was inserted via the abdomen this morning and when he came back to the ward I just wept with relief. I know it's still a terminal condition, but I felt elated - because we have been given better quality time to share together and he will be more comfortable. Just a few days now in hospital, I think, to ensure everything is working as it should.
I have been reading some of your stories - Cathy, I really felt for you and you have been such a comfort to me, along with so many of you, with your comments on here. I hope that I will be strong enough to do as you are doing and at some time in the future be able to help someone else.