A forum for advanced pancreatic cancer issues

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sheena
Posts: 173
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:42 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby sheena » Sun Jun 12, 2016 10:09 pm

So sorry to hear your sad news .I hope you take care of yourself and try to relax and just remember the happy times.I can't believe it's been 7 weeks since I lost my soul mate,but I try to stay happy as I know that's what Steve would want.It's going to be a difficult time for you and I have cried buckets at times.I found myself not knowing what to do as all our time was spent with our loved one.but I feel I am now coming to terms that my life has changed and I can't do anything about it .you have been a wonderful carer and I am so sorry another one of us is now heartbroken sending you love and hugs take care x

Ant11
Posts: 125
Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2013 8:43 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Ant11 » Sun Jun 12, 2016 10:26 pm

Dearest PW. My heart is breaking for you all at this sad and very difficult time. You will feel like you are in a very bad dream. Having been in the same position only 12 weeks ago, the road will be tough but we are all here for you, just the same as you are always here for us. It really is hard to comprehend the quick decline of this terrible disease, one which only those that it has affected will really understand. I know for certain that we never lose the people we love. They continue to participate in every act, thought, and decision we make. Your wonderful husbands love leaves an indelible imprint in your memories. You will find comfort in knowing that your lives have been enriched by having shared his love. You must remember he has not gone he's, just gone on ahead. They say how do you spell LOVE, you don't you feel it. Hopefully you will feel all the love we are sending to you. If you would like to contact me outside of the forum, please feel free to ask the support nurses for my email. Sending you lots of love Annette xxxxxxx

sandraW
Posts: 1039
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby sandraW » Sun Jun 12, 2016 11:00 pm

PW, I am so so sorry to hear you have lost your beloved husband, but it sounds as though your hubby did it his way leaving in a hurry as you say. I agree we are never prepared for the end,because we don't want them to go, we continue to hope for a miracle, that they might suddenly recover and stay with us. We all handle the grief differently, if you want to be alone, that's what's right for you, and your son, sending love and strength to you both love sandrax xx

Dandygal76
Posts: 762
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Dandygal76 » Mon Jun 13, 2016 9:36 am

How are you today PW? Look after yourself and take your time with things. Didge sends her love. I know you are not on Facebook but if you ever want to we are here as well (including Didge and Sheena).... https://www.facebook.com/groups/495134694006085/

Love to you all. x

Sueoliver
Posts: 519
Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 8:22 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Sueoliver » Mon Jun 13, 2016 5:59 pm

I am so so sorry PW I am thinking of you and sending you love and strength for the times ahead. You have been wonderful and I am so sorry someone else has been left heartbroken.
Love Sue xxx

Dandygal76
Posts: 762
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Dandygal76 » Mon Jun 13, 2016 7:17 pm

xxx

Proud Wife
Posts: 740
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Proud Wife » Mon Jun 13, 2016 8:58 pm

I was fine all day as I've been busy sorting things. The only thing that got me was I had to make someone a cup of coffee and used hubby's coffee machine (I only drink tea). So stupid but pressing the button on the machine made me bawl because I suddenly realised I'd never hear him say "love make me a coffee" ever ever again.

I haven't allowed myself to stop since 8am this morning until now because I just don't want to think about it. Yesterday I was replaying the last 10 minutes over and over in my head and it was torturing me. Today, I'm having trouble recalling them which is really weird, perhaps my head knows when somethings too painful to contemplate, who knows.

Just a little bit about hubby. He was a character. Quirky, charismatic and funny. He had a massively larger than life personality. His glass was always half full and he had such a way,
you'd know when he entered a room. Well, since his diagnosis, he decided that colour was the name of the game and invested in some massively brightly coloured tracksuits with matching t shirts and caps when his hair went thin. Even his underpants and socks matched the colour he was wearing, whether it be a brighter yellow day, orange or green! We used to go into tesco and he'd show one of the assistants we'd got friendly with the elastic to prove he matched. I used to say how can you do that in tesco but everyone roared with laughter!

So a fitting tribute will be a yellow and orange stripped coffin and I'm going to ask everyone to wear yellow. Although we never got around to discussing his wishes other than cremation, my son and I have decided its going to be a happy event but moreover, it's going to be massively colourful and we are going to give a send off no-one will forget in a hurry because it's such a fitting way to end such a colourful life.

My son came downstairs wearing one of his dad's matching volt yellow tops, matching cap and black sun glasses with yellow on the side and declared he was wearing it to his dads funeral. I know hubby would roar with laughter at the very thought.

I have been very productive today. I have always been a "do-er", an organiser so as long as I am kept busy, I'm okay. I cannot bear to contemplate what will happen when things go back to normal and I run out of things to arrange. The future looks so bleak and worthless without the love of my life but I have an amazing son who has been such an incredible emotional support today. So as well as a Proud Wife, I am a Proud Mother! xxx

Proud Wife
Posts: 740
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Proud Wife » Mon Jun 13, 2016 9:01 pm

Annette, would love contact. Will email support, thank you xxxx

sandraW
Posts: 1039
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby sandraW » Mon Jun 13, 2016 10:07 pm

PW/PM That all sounds marvellous,
I know how you feel, the night I came back from the hospice, I washed everything, I had 3 full lines and a full whirly gig thing full of washing, and was pegging it out at midnight, my son bless him just let me get on with it, I think he realised I just needed to do it. Trevor's pet name for me was always "Washy".
I keep saying this sorry, but I felt as though we were all playing parts in a play and when it was over everything would go back to normal and Trevor would be back sorry to say that it didn't happen of course.
Your hubby sounds a lovely very special man, and not unlike my Trevor, he too was always chatting to everyone, and everyone in the oncology unit knew him, and he would pull every ones leg right up to the last few days of his life. Please try to take care love sandrax xx

Proud Wife
Posts: 740
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Proud Wife » Mon Jun 13, 2016 10:15 pm

Can someone please tell me how to contact support!!!

It's nice to hear a bit more about Trevor, Sandra. We get to understand one another because of the common bond, we go through the same but our loved ones are all unique xxx

sheena
Posts: 173
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:42 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby sheena » Mon Jun 13, 2016 11:01 pm

How lovely Steve was a pink person .sounds like you are going to have a wonderful celebration .I am still running around doing things that don't need doing but keeping busy helps me to x

shelda
Posts: 59
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2016 11:41 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby shelda » Tue Jun 14, 2016 1:08 am

Hello my lovely, just been thinking about you and proud son and realised it was too late to text you. All the support on here is just amazing and those of us on this side of the divide (to coin didges phrase) certainly know what you are going through. I'll be in touch tomorrow my love hope you've managed to get some sleep xxx

Ant11
Posts: 125
Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2013 8:43 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Ant11 » Tue Jun 14, 2016 7:47 am

Dear PW & PM, just email the support line and explain you would like to contact me. They will then provide my email address. Look forward to hearing from you. Annette xxxxxx

Judith16
Posts: 25
Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2015 7:09 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Judith16 » Tue Jun 14, 2016 9:30 am

Dear PW
I was so sorry to hear your news, sending love and hugs to you and your son xx

I just wanted to leave some words for you that I hope will be of some comfort to you. Its a rather long poem but I felt I wanted to share it with you. Its called Forever in your heart. "Feel no guilt in laughter, he knows how much you care, Feel no sorrow in a smile, that he's not there to share, You cannot grieve forever, he would not want you to, he'd hope that you would carry on, the way you always do, so talk about the good times, and the ways you showed you cared, the days you spent together, and the happiness you shared, let memories surround you, a word someone might say, will suddenly recapture, a time, an hour, a day, that brings him back as clearly as though he was still here, and fills you with the feelings, that say he's always near, for if you keep those moments, you will never be apart, and they will live forever, safely locked within your heart" Thinking of you at this time xxxx

Linda G
Posts: 108
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 2:06 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Linda G » Tue Jun 14, 2016 10:52 am

Hi PW, hope you and your lovely son are coping. Being busy does help - I still do it now after 16 weeks. Stewart didn't talk much about his funeral either. We always thought he would get home and we were going to get his chosen funeral director to the house. I only knew he wanted cremation and no religion. We had a celebration of life, a white casket with the musical notes of two of his favourite songs (one along each side) and his football club badge at each end. Hubby does sound like a real colourful character and I know he would appreciate your plans. Its so hard to do but you will do him proud. Its one of the last, most important things you will do for him. Take care of yourselves.
xxxx

Judith, that poem is beautiful.
xx
Linda G