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Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Proud Wife

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Well done PW...you've done what you promised.

I put a Winnie the Poo quotation in Nige's funeral order of service...'I am so lucky I have something that makes saying goodbye so hard' I'm sure all of us can relate to that.

Much love


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A wonderful send-off for a wonderful man. As M says, it sounds perfect.

Much love PW, and I very much hope you'll keep posting elsewhere on the forum...we need you!

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PW I would have started here but I was sure you was away further than Amsterdam - I am very single minded right now and did not see your lovely post which takes precedent over all my whinges! I would also have to keep a part of dad and you have done absolutely the right thing. I am sure it was me being being nosey down Marmalade's facebook that I saw a teddy she made from clothes of a beloved - I absolute loved that idea. A part of your beloved in a hug-able teddy bear. What I worry about re ashes and making jewelry is that my kids are truly crap and will lose it and be absolutely devastated. Nice bear with his clothes, attached with bear jewelry is where I will go. Your service was beautiful... you did an amazing send off. xx

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That was beautiful, PW. I understand about closing the thread but you won't leave us altogether will you ?

Please stay on the forums, you're one of us after all. We've all benefitted from your experience and I want to know how your journey pans out from now.

Love and prayers


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No, you can't get rid of me that easily. To coin hubbys phrase, I am like weed!!!

In any event, Id suffer withdrawal symptoms without my daily dose of justamo's humour, not to mention the trials and tribulations of boris the depressed pussycat!!

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I would like it clearly understood that Boris is not a pussycat.

Boris is The Most Beautiful Cat in the World, and has more Attitude than his namesake. You are obviously an intelligent woman PW, and should be aware that while dogs have owners, cats have staff. If you call a dog it will come to you. If you call a cat it will usually raise one eyebrow with an air of "I'll get back to you on that".

He is also my companion during long tearful sessions at night when everything has gone flat and black and the one person who can reassure you is sleeping properly for the first time in a week and you're not going to wake them just because you are having a wobble.

And Peter loves him almost as much I do.

Sleep well yourself,

Love Mo x

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I for one realise that Boris is not a pussycat, but as for being the most beautiful cat in the world not sure I can give you that one!

Oscar our last cat loved Trevor more than me, probably as when we rescued him, he was long haired and all matted, so slowly over a couple of weeks I had to cut out all the matts and groom him, and he never really forgave me.

I would do while Trevor was away if he needed a cuddle, but as soon as Trevor was back that was me sidelined. When Trevor was feeling unwell after chemo and on the sofa wrapped in his blanket, Oscar would sleep with him usually on his lap. When we got our Shihtzu Missy about a year before Trevor died, Oscar was not impressed! he was used to sharing his life with our previous dog Daisy but a puppy, how dare we! He soon put her in her place though and chose most of the time to just ignore her existence, but when it came to napping on Trevor he just moved up and used to lay on Trevor's chest/shoulder, or draped round his neck, while Missy laid on his knee or legs.

I had to have Oskydosk as we called him put to sleep the July after Trevor died, I bawled and bawled my eyes out at the vets I just couldn't stop, it was rather a long drawn out scenario as his kidneys were failing, and they anesthetic wouldn't work, so I had/wanted to sit with him while he went to sleep before they could give him the drug to euthanize him, I just sobbed and sobbed I cried more then, than when Trevor had died, luckily I knew the vet well so he understood and was really lovely, he even offered to drive me home. So I do understand that your Boris is certainly,not a just pussy cat, he is yours and Peter's, but at the moment he is your comfort, and someone, cause he is like a person, to be there when you need him., take care love sandrax xx

Edited by sandraW
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PCUK Nurse Jeni


The ceremony sounds just beautiful.

Well done on achieving what you wanted.

And a lovely tribute to your hubby at the end of a chapter.

Thanks for this.


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Hi PW,

Just realised my post to you last night isn't there!!

It all sounded lovely, really lovely and just what P H would have wanted I am sure, I had no idea how these things were organised but I could picture you all now you have explained how its all done. How nice that you knew the captain and some crew already made it much more special I am sure. Also how lovely that you could scatter the ashes half way, with your hubby being dutch, and the certificate will be something for you to treasure.

I can understand that you get comfort from the ashes at home I do too, Trevor is still in his sleeve the ashes came in, I cannot as yet find anything else I really like and as he is an exact match for the wallpaper, he will stay as he is for the time being. (He knew I like everything to match and as I had no idea what ashes even came in, we were all quite amazed when he matched the decorations exactly)

I am very glad you didn't go overboard, it would have spoil the proceedings somewhat and probably ruined your hairstyle too.

We certainly need you to stay around, did you move house by the way? I can't remember you posting about the stresses that would inevitably involve. take care love sandrax xx

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Sandra, that must have been the final straw. You were crying for Oskydosk, Trevor, yourself, your loss and the cruel hand you were dealt. Why do all these terrible, horrible things all happen at the same time.

Forgive my ignorance but I'm assuming it was a see through plastic sleeve? Originally I was given hubbys ashes in a plastic (temporary) urn that could have been confused with a cheap cookie jar if I had of taken it out of it's cardboard box. Now the little that I have left is in a pretty little tube but...the sticky label at the bottom covering the tiny little hole that avoids the tube having problems with suction, had unbeknown to me come lose so when I lifted it to give hubby a cuddle, a few little bits escaped without permission. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't put them in the bin, nor could I put them back because the tube is sealed so I decided to scatter them over Percy the Pineapple. For those that chat to me over on FB, that is not the reason why Percy is ready for the chop. I do hope no-one takes offence at my comments - it's the only way I can deal with it. I think Sandra you do the same because I did have a little chuckle at your description of Trevor matching the wallpaper. I don't think that happened by accident.

Nope haven't moved house yet. Was going to, then wasn't going to but am now most certainly looking around again. Only problem is, there's such rubbish out there and yes, it was the inevitable stresses that make me reconsider. I do feel stronger now only I'm finding that I am losing my temper far easily than I ever did before but that's a story for another day!

Oh and finally Sandra, I had actually paid a small fortune to have my hair blow dried on the ship just before the service so I would have been mighty upset to have gone for an unscheduled swim.

love to all my fellow warriors and she lions xxx

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PW I just knew you would have had your hair done, we must pick up lots of things from reading between the lines on here mustn't we.

Trevor's ashes are in a very nice cardboard sleeve (think posh whiskey sleeve but wider and taller) its burgundy, not shiny, just very nice really, I thought it might get to look scruffy but, its on his table next to where he used to sit, not in sunlight or anything, and so far not deteriorated at all. I just like it so I am loathe at the moment to change it, it just somehow suits him, silly though that sounds.

Fancy bits of PH escaping, that's what worries me too, I think scattering them on "Percy the pineapple" seems like a very good idea indeed, was PH fond of pineapple? I hope so, these little things cause us so much worry about doing the right thing don't they.

Strangely enough my son and his family popped in last night, they live 70 miles away, but were visiting the Fair we have here annually. I told them not to bother to come and see me as I am at the opposite end of the town but they came anyway and brought me some brandy snap,Jason put his hand on his Dad's ashes and gave them a pat, so he obviously feels closer to his dad too, having them there.

love to all Sandrax

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Sorry to but in but totally agree Sandra, I can't let Louis Ashes go either. I want us to end up somewhere together but don't know where yet.

Love to you both M xx

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Bless you all, I cannot imagine what I would do with my parents ashes when the time comes. One wants to be spread on a Greek Island and one at Brickhill Woods (but they are a close couple) so I think I will have to shake them up a bit together in some sort of Jamie Oliver Flavour Shaker and send them to both because I would like them to stay together. It reminds me they never did conclude this decision / debate in one of those surreal conversations when all was well.

PW - I think putting the ashes with Percy was a great idea and I am sure the result will be an even more amazing and strong exotic plant. Lot's of people do put there ashes with a planted tree anyway. My friends mum booked her funeral arrangements in advance and it is a place in Northampton I think where she is put in a biodegradable / organic box for the cremation and then her ashes are put with a tree that is planted on top so that she becomes part of the tree.


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To coin one of Mo's classic one liners (hope you don't mind Mo) Percy the Pineapple is dying, so it wasn't my cleverist idea. Keep up at the back DG!!!!! This won't make any sense to anyone reading so very briefly and to reply to Sandra, normal people plant trees/plants to remember their loved ones. I am growing 2 pineapples instead. Percy and Peggy. Peggy is thriving and is now the size of a small plum, Percy is for the chop but I can't bring myself to do this. They just caught my eye at Tesco and now sit on hubby's sideboard/dresser - not sure what they are called these days, which houses his photos, remainder of ashes and "I love you" cuddly toys.

And no, I haven't lost it. Yet!!

Much love to you all xxx

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And in case anyone thinks I'm being flippant, I'm not. Hubby would want me to be this way and on reflection, I actually think it's a really fitting tribute to him, to close this thread with humour and a bit of a giggle because I can hear him yelling from above, stop crying silly woman and make the best of things.


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