A forum for advanced pancreatic cancer issues

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boa
Posts: 131
Joined: Thu Jul 09, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby boa » Sun Jun 12, 2016 7:44 am

PW, you certainly brought some memories back about being on oncology wards at the weekend when few staff were available and arguments with professionals. I'm sure they are doing their best in difficult situations. That's why we found the hospice so good as my husband got the pain relief he needed when he needed it. I hope it's an easier day today.

Dandygal76
Posts: 762
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Dandygal76 » Sun Jun 12, 2016 8:27 am

Hey Judith, I am sorry to hear you are also going through such difficult times. I would love you to start a thread so we can be there for you like PW. It somehow feels harder to give you full support and a full response on this thread and if you start a new one we can also be there just for you and just for your situation. Sending hugs and hope we hear from you soon. x

Proud Wife
Posts: 740
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Proud Wife » Sun Jun 12, 2016 8:31 am

My amazingly brave, wonderful, colourful, vibrant, energetic and positive husband left me absolutely heartbroken at 5am this morning.

I cannot believe this has happened. I do not know how I can be without him.

Until we meet again my darling.

Your heartbroken Proudest ever Wife.
Last edited by Proud Wife on Sun Jun 12, 2016 9:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

Dandygal76
Posts: 762
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Dandygal76 » Sun Jun 12, 2016 8:39 am

Oh my. I just typed out a huge message to you this morning and then I saw what you posted. I am so so sorry PW. I am so heartbroken for you. You did brilliant and you are amazing and he is the Proudest ever Husband - I am sure of that. x

Paige
Posts: 34
Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2016 5:21 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Paige » Sun Jun 12, 2016 10:34 am

Dear PW,

I am so very sorry to hear this. I am so sorry, absolutely devastating for you, you have been an incredible support to your husband and it is clear how proud you are of the way he faced his illness. I wish you strength and send love your way for the difficult times ahead.

Thinking of you,
Paige
Xx

Fifi

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Fifi » Sun Jun 12, 2016 10:36 am

PW,

So so very sorry to read this. He fought so bravely and you gave him tremendous strength.

Will email you.

Thinking of you and your son

Leila xx

Wife&Mum
Posts: 397
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 3:12 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Wife&Mum » Sun Jun 12, 2016 11:25 am

Dear PW, I am so sorry. Sincerest condolences to you and your son. Your dear hubby sounded absolutely amazing, what a terrible loss. Love W&M

boa
Posts: 131
Joined: Thu Jul 09, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby boa » Sun Jun 12, 2016 12:55 pm

PW So sorry to read this. Sincerest condolences.
Catherine

Marmalade

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Marmalade » Sun Jun 12, 2016 2:10 pm

Dearest PW, you have come through so much together that parting can only be agony. Your wonderful husband has been fighting a war which some may say he has lost. Not me, cancer and fear of death and pain has no power over him now. His victories are in all the wonderful things he did in his life, the kindnesses, the laughter and the love he gave and received. Victor Hugo said "the memory is the invisible presence" and so it is. The tired and wasted body may go but the spirit of the healthy and vigorous man you love lives on. I mourn with you PW as we all do and share your overwhelming sadness xx

Fifi

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Fifi » Sun Jun 12, 2016 2:50 pm

Beautiful words Marmalade, just beautiful.

Linda G
Posts: 108
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 2:06 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Linda G » Sun Jun 12, 2016 4:21 pm

Dearest PW, I am devastated for your loss. You cared for him brilliantly for such a long time and he fought so hard. I understand so well how you feel right now. My heart is aching and my tears flowing for you, your hubby and family, and for everyone else coping with this dreadful journey.
xxxx
Linda G

jay
Posts: 407
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby jay » Sun Jun 12, 2016 4:30 pm

I am so , so, sorry PW
Thinking of you
Massive hugs Jayne
xx

Proud Wife
Posts: 740
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Proud Wife » Sun Jun 12, 2016 5:22 pm

Aren't they just beautiful words Leila. Such a very special message from a very special person. Marmalade, a thousand kisses to you (and every other member of my forum family). I have printed off your post for my son. It will go in a memory book that we shall make. We are up and down like yoyo's.

I understand only too well now from those on my new side of the divide that none of us ever wanted to cross, the comments about reliving the journey or parts of it. I have absolutely no regrets and the only bad memory I have is something that happened right at the end which having read up on everything that could happen at end of life, this was not something mentioned, so came as a massive frightening shock.

I am constantly playing that back in my mind. The whole "passing" happened so quickly, maybe within 5-10 minutes, I just don't know, I had no concept of time. True to form right to the end, hubby was always in a rush and couldn't wait for anything. However, this one thing made me feel sick to my stomach. I fear this will haunt me forever but only I witnessed it happen. My son came in the room immediately after (I'd got him there a few hours earlier as I just knew the end was close) we sat either side of his bed, held his hand and told him over and over again how much we loved him and how proud we were of him. All things considered, I couldn't have asked really for anything more.

I think today and when I get a chance to read back through my posts, it was clear hubby was deteriorating rapidly; we just didn't see it or didn't want to see it. The final stages of deterioration were so quick and for him, it was exactly how he would have wanted it. We literally had 8 days before he died. We did not even get around to discussing funerals because we just did not expect it to happen so soon. He would have had no idea from the day he was admitted last week that these were his final days.

The only way I am coping today is by thinking he's out at the shops. If I remind myself he died, it will be too much to bear.

I didn't want to see anyone today. I am speaking to people but my son and I just want to be on our own and cry when we want. I may come on here and just "talk" because I know you understand. If I sound like I'm rambling, ignore me. I just need to let it out.

Marmalade

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Marmalade » Sun Jun 12, 2016 6:19 pm

There is nothing to forgive. Talk when you want to we will listen and keep all that is beautiful in our hearts M xx

Linda G
Posts: 108
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 2:06 pm

Re: Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

Postby Linda G » Sun Jun 12, 2016 8:42 pm

You need that time for yourself and your son. Even though you were expecting it, it is a massive, massive shock. Ramble as much as you like my love, rambling to your forum family is fine. Big hugs.
Linda G
XXX