A forum for advanced pancreatic cancer issues

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scoobymandy
Posts: 20
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:12 am

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby scoobymandy » Sat Jul 06, 2013 7:49 pm

Hi just to update everyone my husband's funeral took place on the 4th Jul. And it was a very emotional day for everyone that attended which was oever 100 people but it still doesn't stop the pain in my heart that I have lost the best person I every had the chance to be happy with my children are really struggling with the fact they are never gonna sew there step dad again I also feel that he died from septercemia rather than the cancer as he seemed to go into shock whist holding on to me this we will never know as I refused for them to do a postmortem but I know in my heart that the only people that gave him the ca're that he needed was myself and my family as he was classed as dnr when he came Home so they wouldn't intervene as they said nothin would make any difference now. It makes me mad to think that just gave up trying to help him

Slewis7313
Posts: 688
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 8:48 pm

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby Slewis7313 » Mon Jul 08, 2013 1:28 am

Mandy, I have been watching but found it difficult to comment on your situation and loss as I simply cannot begin to imagine the anguish you and your family must be going through. Whilst I am still tackling this awful illness, I am at least in a position to have the luxury of time to fight it. You have however had to experience Pancreatic Cancer in it's worst form. It is nice to see there was substantial support at the funeral, but this is probably of limited consolation to you and your children.

My thoughts are really with you at this most difficult of times and I hope that your pain reduces with time and support of your family.

Steve

LindaH
Posts: 186
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2013 8:12 pm

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby LindaH » Mon Jul 08, 2013 2:27 pm

Mandy, I can only echo Steve's message as I feel he has managed to convey how we all feel for you and your family right now.

Linda xx

cestrian
Posts: 220
Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2013 12:20 pm

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby cestrian » Mon Jul 08, 2013 10:28 pm

Mandy

My sincere condolences in your sad loss of your beloved husband at such a young age. The supporters of this site are so caring and I'm sure you will have been strengthened by the messages of love and sympathy.

There does seem to be such a huge variance in the consistency of the quality of care that we who are unfortunate enough to contract this pernicious illness receive. Whilst I cannot speak highly enough of my own team from GP to McMillan Nurse you, sadly seem to be at the opposite end of the scale and that cannot be right.

My love to you and your family

Mike

Bee
Posts: 219
Joined: Fri May 03, 2013 9:39 pm

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby Bee » Mon Jul 08, 2013 10:39 pm

Mandy,
I can only echo the condolences from the other members of the forum, my thoughts are with you x
Bee

scoobymandy
Posts: 20
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:12 am

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby scoobymandy » Wed Jul 10, 2013 11:10 pm

Thank you to everyone who has supported me via this forum it has bought me great comfort. Obviously things are really hard for me but I am now concentrating in doing what I promised my husband before he died is to get answers on why he was treated so badly by the nhs. Today I collected my husbands ashes and I will continue in finding the answers as to why the system failed for him as this is the only thing I have strength to do he was way to young at the age of 46 no one should ever suffer like he did

Slewis7313
Posts: 688
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 8:48 pm

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby Slewis7313 » Wed Jul 10, 2013 11:41 pm

If there is anything at all we can do to help, you know where we are.

Steve

X

washingtonmike
Posts: 32
Joined: Sun Jun 30, 2013 10:38 pm

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby washingtonmike » Wed Jul 17, 2013 1:47 pm

Hi Mandy:

I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's diagnosis and prognosis. I know it's of no consolation but here in the States it took five months for my diagnosis of pancreatic cancer to come about before treatment could begin.

I'll hold good thoughts and prayers for you both.

Cheers, Mike

scoobymandy
Posts: 20
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:12 am

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby scoobymandy » Mon Jul 22, 2013 11:37 am

Thankyou to everyone for your kind words.
I have now found out that my stepdad who had the whipples procedure nearly 2 years ago was taken to hospital last Friday with bad stomach and bowel pains and very sick I am in shock and I dunno what to feel anymore we can't go through all this pain again we know with the whipples it's not a guarantee and at any stage it can come back so far his scans have shown no problems but as I have experience in all this nothing worries us most I can't loose another member of my family again this year as I've lost 3 since October 2012

Cathy
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby Cathy » Mon Jul 22, 2013 12:40 pm

Hi Mandy

I'm so sorry to hear your stepfather is poorly and it's not surprising that you are expecting the worst. It may be nothing to do with his previous cancer - have they said? I am thinking of you and fingers crossed that he gets better soon.

Cathy xx

scoobymandy
Posts: 20
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:12 am

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby scoobymandy » Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:09 pm

Unfortunately it's been confirmed it is cancer again tumor found in stomach and wrapped around main artery that feeds the bowel only can have chemo only months now left to live we are reliving the nightmare all over again and it's so painful

Bee
Posts: 219
Joined: Fri May 03, 2013 9:39 pm

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby Bee » Wed Jul 24, 2013 10:46 pm

Hi,
I know nothing anyone can say will help but I am thinking of you and so very sorry to hear of more bad news.
Bee xx

Lola
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 9:01 pm

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby Lola » Mon Jul 29, 2013 5:12 pm

So sorry about the awful diagnosis-my husband had no symptoms apart from evening tiredness-his consultatons(private and NHS) started on 29/04-CT scan,MRI,ERCP,Liver biopsy-confirmed as pancreatic cancer -stage 4a- on 6/05-only palliative care possible-via Hospice at Home/Macmillan nurses/Marie Curie nurses-he died at home on 5/06- My father(obviously no blood relation to my husband)had died 42 years prior with same condition-only real differerence being my late husband's diagnosis came quicker-very good luck with the oncologists/clinicians that you see-Lola

marie souter
Posts: 198
Joined: Thu May 30, 2013 7:58 pm

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby marie souter » Fri Aug 30, 2013 4:57 am

Oh Mandy, what a truly awful story. I started reading it from the start. I was so upset by the time I read that he had died. So young - he must have been devastated to leave you and the children. My heart is breaking for you.

I've had a similar experience with regards to original diagnosis (a year of being told it's a virus/IBS/wind etc....) Until my mum ended up with a stent fitted. I truly hope that you get answers for the way your beloved husband was treated, it's a disgrace. The length of time they take to do ANYTHING at all when your loved ones life is at risk, truly astounds me. 4-6 wks to see an oncologist is RIDICULOUS! We're having the same issues.

I don't even want my mom hospitalised as my dad had very bad care in 3 different hospitals before he died with COPD. You would think they would hurry with chemo, BUT no! It was 8 wks before my mom was offered chemo, which she ended up refusing, as by that time she was so nauseous all the time she couldnt take more from chemo. Maybe if they'd offered her it straight away she would have had it. I can't even imagine what you are going through, the hurt the anger the grief. And having to be there for the children as well. My heart truly goes out to you. I intend to put complaints in all over the place when this is over and my mom is at peace. Hopefully not for some time for her but I know the prognosis. It isn't long. But I guess everyone would like to think that their loved one will beat it against the odds. I hope you get the peace you deserve after such a horrific time Mandy and I know there is nothing anyone can say to help but I hope you get the justice you should have following his awful care. xxx

scoobymandy
Posts: 20
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:12 am

Re: my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

Postby scoobymandy » Wed Dec 11, 2013 11:16 am

Just to update on here it will be 6 months on the 19th june that my husband passed away at home at the age of 46 . I have been speaking and going for meetings with the nhs specialist that were treating my husband in hospital and have discussed in depth all the findings they had at the time my husband was ill.firstly they asmitted that there we flaws,in his care between april and jan of this year which could of saved him and caught this in time,he also confirmed thst my husbands stomach operation he had on an emergency scale was not caused by the cancer he had and as far as,we r aware he did not die of cancer he died of septicemia(blood poisioning) this,is still no comfort to me or my family especially at this time of year now I have recievedvall of my husband medical records tapes and scans and looking to a finding a solicitor To see if I have a claim against the nhs