my husband of 2 weeks with weeks to live

[louiepc]

I am so very sorry to hear your devastating news, my sympathies and prayers are with you at this terrible time.

xxx

[karen17]

So So sorry to hear such sad news.

My thoughts are with you

Karen xxx

[ucyocho]

So very sorry to hear your sad story, I have been in tears reading it. This disease is so cruel it seems to take some people so quickly, my mother lasted 7 weeks and I thought that was no time at all. Please try not to have any regrets about how things went with the hospital. I beat myself up everyday for not getting them to pull there finger out but in reality it probably would have made little difference at the stage they were at. Try and take care of yourself. X

[scoobymandy]

It has only been a week since my husband passed away in my arms. I will never forget how this disease has destroyed my life in ways I can't explain our lives have been destroyed and the pain will never go. He has left a massive hole in mine and my children's lives why he was taken so early we will never know and all we have now is memories and a funeral to say what we need to say r I p to my husband/father and step dad Pete xxxxx

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Dear Mandy,

So very sorry to hear this news. Please accept our sympathies at this traumatic and heartbreaking time for you and your family. Yes, this is a very cruel disease. I know that you have found some support from the forum family on here, who all do a fantastic job of supporting one another. (Thank you all).

Please do contact us on support@pancreaticcancer.org.uk if there is anything we can do to help.

Kind regards,

Support team.

[scoobymandy]

Hi just to update everyone my husband's funeral took place on the 4th Jul. And it was a very emotional day for everyone that attended which was oever 100 people but it still doesn't stop the pain in my heart that I have lost the best person I every had the chance to be happy with my children are really struggling with the fact they are never gonna sew there step dad again I also feel that he died from septercemia rather than the cancer as he seemed to go into shock whist holding on to me this we will never know as I refused for them to do a postmortem but I know in my heart that the only people that gave him the ca're that he needed was myself and my family as he was classed as dnr when he came Home so they wouldn't intervene as they said nothin would make any difference now. It makes me mad to think that just gave up trying to help him

[Slewis7313]

Mandy, I have been watching but found it difficult to comment on your situation and loss as I simply cannot begin to imagine the anguish you and your family must be going through. Whilst I am still tackling this awful illness, I am at least in a position to have the luxury of time to fight it. You have however had to experience Pancreatic Cancer in it's worst form. It is nice to see there was substantial support at the funeral, but this is probably of limited consolation to you and your children.

My thoughts are really with you at this most difficult of times and I hope that your pain reduces with time and support of your family.

Steve

[LindaH]

Mandy, I can only echo Steve's message as I feel he has managed to convey how we all feel for you and your family right now.

Linda xx

[cestrian]

Mandy

My sincere condolences in your sad loss of your beloved husband at such a young age. The supporters of this site are so caring and I'm sure you will have been strengthened by the messages of love and sympathy.

There does seem to be such a huge variance in the consistency of the quality of care that we who are unfortunate enough to contract this pernicious illness receive. Whilst I cannot speak highly enough of my own team from GP to McMillan Nurse you, sadly seem to be at the opposite end of the scale and that cannot be right.

My love to you and your family

Mike

[Bee]

Mandy,

I can only echo the condolences from the other members of the forum, my thoughts are with you x

Bee

[scoobymandy]

Thank you to everyone who has supported me via this forum it has bought me great comfort. Obviously things are really hard for me but I am now concentrating in doing what I promised my husband before he died is to get answers on why he was treated so badly by the nhs. Today I collected my husbands ashes and I will continue in finding the answers as to why the system failed for him as this is the only thing I have strength to do he was way to young at the age of 46 no one should ever suffer like he did

[Slewis7313]

If there is anything at all we can do to help, you know where we are.

Steve

X

[washingtonmike]

Hi Mandy:

I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's diagnosis and prognosis. I know it's of no consolation but here in the States it took five months for my diagnosis of pancreatic cancer to come about before treatment could begin.

I'll hold good thoughts and prayers for you both.

Cheers, Mike

[scoobymandy]

Thankyou to everyone for your kind words.

I have now found out that my stepdad who had the whipples procedure nearly 2 years ago was taken to hospital last Friday with bad stomach and bowel pains and very sick I am in shock and I dunno what to feel anymore we can't go through all this pain again we know with the whipples it's not a guarantee and at any stage it can come back so far his scans have shown no problems but as I have experience in all this nothing worries us most I can't loose another member of my family again this year as I've lost 3 since October 2012

[Cathy]

Hi Mandy

I'm so sorry to hear your stepfather is poorly and it's not surprising that you are expecting the worst. It may be nothing to do with his previous cancer - have they said? I am thinking of you and fingers crossed that he gets better soon.

Cathy xx

[scoobymandy]

Unfortunately it's been confirmed it is cancer again tumor found in stomach and wrapped around main artery that feeds the bowel only can have chemo only months now left to live we are reliving the nightmare all over again and it's so painful

[Bee]

Hi,

I know nothing anyone can say will help but I am thinking of you and so very sorry to hear of more bad news.

Bee xx

[Lola]

So sorry about the awful diagnosis-my husband had no symptoms apart from evening tiredness-his consultatons(private and NHS) started on 29/04-CT scan,MRI,ERCP,Liver biopsy-confirmed as pancreatic cancer -stage 4a- on 6/05-only palliative care possible-via Hospice at Home/Macmillan nurses/Marie Curie nurses-he died at home on 5/06- My father(obviously no blood relation to my husband)had died 42 years prior with same condition-only real differerence being my late husband's diagnosis came quicker-very good luck with the oncologists/clinicians that you see-Lola

[marie souter]

Oh Mandy, what a truly awful story. I started reading it from the start. I was so upset by the time I read that he had died. So young - he must have been devastated to leave you and the children. My heart is breaking for you.

I've had a similar experience with regards to original diagnosis (a year of being told it's a virus/IBS/wind etc....) Until my mum ended up with a stent fitted. I truly hope that you get answers for the way your beloved husband was treated, it's a disgrace. The length of time they take to do ANYTHING at all when your loved ones life is at risk, truly astounds me. 4-6 wks to see an oncologist is RIDICULOUS! We're having the same issues.

I don't even want my mom hospitalised as my dad had very bad care in 3 different hospitals before he died with COPD. You would think they would hurry with chemo, BUT no! It was 8 wks before my mom was offered chemo, which she ended up refusing, as by that time she was so nauseous all the time she couldnt take more from chemo. Maybe if they'd offered her it straight away she would have had it. I can't even imagine what you are going through, the hurt the anger the grief. And having to be there for the children as well. My heart truly goes out to you. I intend to put complaints in all over the place when this is over and my mom is at peace. Hopefully not for some time for her but I know the prognosis. It isn't long. But I guess everyone would like to think that their loved one will beat it against the odds. I hope you get the peace you deserve after such a horrific time Mandy and I know there is nothing anyone can say to help but I hope you get the justice you should have following his awful care. xxx

[scoobymandy]

Just to update on here it will be 6 months on the 19th june that my husband passed away at home at the age of 46 . I have been speaking and going for meetings with the nhs specialist that were treating my husband in hospital and have discussed in depth all the findings they had at the time my husband was ill.firstly they asmitted that there we flaws,in his care between april and jan of this year which could of saved him and caught this in time,he also confirmed thst my husbands stomach operation he had on an emergency scale was not caused by the cancer he had and as far as,we r aware he did not die of cancer he died of septicemia(blood poisioning) this,is still no comfort to me or my family especially at this time of year now I have recievedvall of my husband medical records tapes and scans and looking to a finding a solicitor To see if I have a claim against the nhs

[marie souter]

Hi Mandy thanks so much for popping on here and giving us an update, I am so pleased you are still pursuing this and I am very happy you are still seeing a solicitor as these things have to be done otherwise these mistakes will be done time and time and time again. At the cost of peoples lives, its unforgivable.

Where you said..'they asmitted that there we flaws,in his care between april and jan of this year which could of saved him and caught this in time,'

That there my love is an admission of guilt and I would say guilt is just cause for a claim, and I think any solicitor would agree with that.

I wish you luck.. my own mom died 8th November this year and I have a lot of issues about her care, I havent the strength to start dealing with what I am going to do about this yet as everything hasn't sunk in yet but when my fighting spirit comes back I will get my boxing gloves on....

Good luck honey, please keep in touch and let us know how it goes..

Still thinking of you and your lovely children..

Love and hugz

Marie

xx

[scoobymandy]

Hi marie

Sorry to hear your sad news just to update everyone on here i took all my husbands medical records to a solicitor and they wouldnt look into any further into any challenges as they said that that cause he had the fast spreading pancreatic cancer any other intervention would of been useless nice to know cause he was terminal whats was the point of trying to help him argghhh i am so angry with there reply my husbandcwas only 46! I so young to have died with so much to live forv. Everyday is still a struggle just wish someone somewhere would lusten to me about the lack of care he had when he was alive!!!!!

[Guest]

Hi Mandy,

Just read this thread, and it is so devastating. I am so sorry.

My dad has recently been diagnosed, and his cancer is inoperable and has spread. He could have been diagnosed months before. The GP practically watched him lose 2 and a half stone and cancer still didn't trigger something in the doctors mind. I have already started complaints procedure.

I can feel your frustration and anger, and wish I could say something to help. I know nothing can.

Have you tried lawyers4u? I have been in contact with them, they have taken my details. That is only as far as I am with them, but they haven't turned me down yet.

Leila x

[PCUK Nurse Dianne]

Hi Mandy,

I am sorry to hear the response from the solicitors, and I am sure that is so upsetting to feel 'brushed off' like that. Have you spoken to anyone from the PALS office (Patient Advice and Liason office) at the hospital where your husband was treated? This may be helpful. If you would like some advice on how to take this forward please do not hesitate to be in contact. We can advise you the best way to do this. It is important to be able to resolve these issues as part of your bereavement and also for the sake of your husband's memory in that you feel you have been able to restore the service that was not ideal, and also by making changes that will improve care for other patients.

Please do not hesitate to be in contact if we can help you here Mandy.

Best wishes,

Dianne

Support Team

[scoobymandy]

Hi dianne

Yes i have been to them had a meeting with the head of digestive diseases and a oncologist from the hospital they confirmed that they had no medical records from the april to the december of 2012 this is when he had started problems with his bowel and stomach he was supposed to.of had a endescope in between these dates but as he moved address the letter was never recieved in the december he was sent for an ultrasound on his stomach as he eas finding it hard to eat anything and had no bowel movements but they found everything normal but when he eas sent in to a and e in middle of january they found he had pancreatic cancer in operable as it had already spread to his liver this i still cant understand why it wasnt picked up before.

My husband wished for me to persue this as this was one of his final wishes. He never saw his macmillan nurse unless he was admitted to hospital we felt that he was just left to die and i still believe that there attitude was well nothin will change the fact hes going to die as he was terminal so there attitude to.his treatment we feel was poor