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Dad with Stage 4 Cancer-please help


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Hi everyone.

My fantastic Dad who turned 60 just 3 weeks ago has just been diagnosed with 'Pancreatic' cancer, this has totally blown our world apart, as I am sure every one on this forum has experienced.

He has had stomach pains on and off for a year but the Doctors have put this down to gastric problems time and time again , it has just been in the past 2 months that he has lost his appetite and lost 3 stone in weight , bless him.

Two weeks ago he had a biopsy taken and a week later (last Wednesday) he had a CAT scan and then was delivered the awful news that he had Stage 4 cancer that had spread to nearly every organ in his body. My poor Mum who is just 58 had been in and out of Hospital all year with complications and to try and cheer her up my Dad saved up really hard and was taking her, myself and husband and 2 children aged 3 and 7 to Florida in 2 weeks time. This has of course all been cancelled and we are all left with this total void in our lives.

At this moment in time the information we have been given is minimal all we have been told is that there is nothing that can be done to help him; we can't even get to see an Oncologist until next week.

Can anyone out there give me any advise on what to expect and how to help my poor Dad, I am finding this whole situation terrible and just don't know what to do for my Dad who is so scared?

Thank you so much for reading this.


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Hello Rachel

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad and my heart goes out to you and your family. I know what that awful sinking feeling is like as my mum has had Pancreatic Cancer. She was operable 2 years ago and we don't think it has spread but she is still in awful pain a lot of the time.

Anyway, I know you have probably been on many web sites trying to gain knowledge and finally come across this one.

It is so good to have somewhere to turn at this terrible time.

Have you got your GP on board with pain and symptom relief? Also did you know you can contact the local McMillan Nurses yourself, my friend did and they were great with her Dad who has Small Bowel lymphoma.

You have to learn to be pushy in these circumstances to get the help you need and not bother what any one thinks of you, as the people who shout loudest get attention in todays NHS.

I know it's not in most peoples nature to cause a fuss but you do it when it's your family involved.

I will be thinking of you, let me know how your dad is.


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  • 2 weeks later...

I know how you and your family are feeling right now as it blew my world apart when my dad was diagnosed in may with PC.

What you can do for your dad is just to be with him and do as much as possible for him and cherish your time together.

Has your dad decided to have the chemotherapy?

Also get in contact with the local Macmillan nurses as they give not only the support to the cancer patient but to all the family at this terrible time.

Also if your dad is not eating check his mouth to see if he has thrush as this is very common in people with PC.

look after yourself and your mum and my thoughts are with you


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  • 2 weeks later...
Christian Cooper

Dear Rachel

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It's wierd when you realise that there are people out there going through the same hell. My dad was diagnosed in december last year aged 62. Before we even had a chance to understand what was happening and digest what was going on he had to quickly undergo the whipple procedure a couple of days after christmas to remove the tumour as although he was feeling alright he became jaundice effectively overnight. Since then he has had 6 sessions of chemotherapy and although it seemed to be working at first we recently found out that the cancer has spread to the liver. The prognosis is not great and the doctors are not really coming up with any solutions. The chemotherapy has left him extremely frail and tired and recently he became jaundice again and is experiencing considerable pain.

The thing that amazes me is how he is coping with it all and how calm he seems to be knowing what he knows. The most important thing I feel is that in his own mind he has learnt to be content with his life and what he has achieved. Please encourage your father to do the same if possible. No doubt he is very proud of you and his grandchildren and he obviously has a wife who cares a great deal for. These are all things to be positive about in this negative time, things that many people never experience. I had my third child, his third grandchild 5 weeks ago and it's wonderful watching him hold my boy and I'm grateful he has met him given we almost lost him on the operating table in december.

Reading this web site I came across vitamin B17 which appears to have actaully cured some people with advanced pancreatic cancer. It may be false hope as every cancer is different but I'm hoping we can now give that a try as we don't seem to have any other options. It can't hurt anyway.

I wish you and your family all the best and pray your father and mine make miraculous recoveries.


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