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My Mum


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25 November 2010 we took her to hospital with suspected infected gall bladder or gallstones, scans, examinations done......

26 November we are told she has cancer...and that it is advanced but they don't know where it started from.

she has several scans through December.

23 December they tell us it started in the pancreas, then spread to her liver....

27 December we take her to the hosiptal as she has developed a bad chest infection, they do chest x-ray and they tell us there is patch of pneumonia.

28 December another scan of the cancer affected areas...consultant tells us the size of the cancer has doubled in just 3 weeks

31 December, Mum passes away peacfully in her sleep

5 weeks exactly to the day since any of us found out...

36 days....and now she has gone...how are we as a family supposed to make sense of this...she was only 61.

She was at work until 23 November, even Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve.....

sorry to put this on everyone as my first post, but just came across your website, joined up as I'm trying to find some answers to questions I have and thought I'd share our families story with you.

Currently drafting a letter to my local MP re. 'Study for Survival' and will endeavour to do what I can to not let any other family in the future, suffer what we are going through at present.

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PCUK Nurse Jeni

Hi Lou,

My name is Jeni and I work for Pancreatic Cancer UK. I am a qualified nurse, with speciality in oncology, chemotherapy and clinical trials. I have worked extensively with pancreatic cancer patients and their families.

Firstly, I would like to say that I am very sorry to hear of your story about your mum. It has clearly been a roller-coaster 5 weeks for you and your family.The speed at which everything has happened makes the sense of shock worse, as it is difficult to process a diagnosis of cancer, and then see things rapidly getting worse, especially when your mum was "ok" a few weeks before.

The nature of Pancreatic Cancer can be like this, unfortunately. It is difficult to diagnose, and there are occasions like your mum where the person is fine, then goes to the doctor with what could be gallstones, or something else, and then ends up with such a diagnosis.

I would very much like to chat this through with you. For security reasons, we don't post phone numbers or private email addresses on here, but if you wish, you may contact me via support@pancreaticcancer.org.uk and I would be able to email you directly.

Best wishes,


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Hi Lou and I'm so sorry to hear your news. Don't worry about "putting upon" anyone - quite simply you're not - this site is here for all affected by pancreatic cancer and we all have our stories to tell. My husband was initially diagnosed with gallstones too and although I'm lucky enough to still have him around at the moment I know just what a shock the cancer diagnosis is.

I'm pleased to see that Jenny has offered support to you and she will be fantastic with all your questions - having had the privilege of meeting her, I can confirm that she's very friendly and down to earth, so don't hesitate.

However, if you want another point of view or just to share your experiences, don't hesitate to post here too. We're a very friendly bunch and now that you've joined our little web-family we'd like to know how you and the family are getting on from time to time.


Nicki x

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Hi Lou

So sorry about your news, but like the others on here, its very traumatic, and a shock.

I understand, my husband was 39, diagnosed one day, passed away 7 weeks later, still in shock myself, and hes been gone since aug 23rd.

Post away, bet you have many emotions, and questions.

This site is a godsend.

I find that my raising awareness has helped, but each to there own, as Nicki says, your not alone tho xxxx

Lynne x

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Hello lou,

So sorry to here the news about your sudden loss.

Having been through it myself having lost my mum, also quickly and unexpectedly I do understand to some degree how you are feeling.

I don't post very often on here, but check postings regularly, and your post struck me.

Please look after yourself.

Millyjo xx

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  • 2 weeks later...

thanks guys for your messages of support.

Our family have been so heartened by the support we got at our mum's funeral last week, hundreds of cards and messages we've received, flowers sent etc.

As we slowly start trying to adjust 'back to normality' (whatever that is supposed to entail now.....), me and my sister are trying to find answers which is probably a common reaction, and just want to do things to help in whatever way we can for this terribly disease, so that if only 1 other family can be prevented from going through what we have, then I know I can make my mum proud.

So I may just hang around here for a while and see what's happening. Everyone seems supportive and friendly which is what we all need at times like this.

Take care and love to everyone.

Lou x

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