Trauma

[rhi]

How do people deal with the trauma this disease brings?

The things I’m experiencing and seen no person should have to go through. 
Why don’t people tell you about the risk of strokes with pancreatic cancer? 
I am completely and utterly traumatised and it’s not even finished yet!!!!! 

[broju]

I don’t know, rhi!! It just goes on and on. 
You probably won’t get any replies to your post as it’s hard to write when you can’t offer a positive answer.

But there are many of us out here who understand just what you’re experiencing now and will in the future so feel free to express yourself. We will all understand.

Take care.

 

 

 

[Thesea]

Think I'm traumatised too.  The ins & outs of that seem too complicated & personal to explain.  Cared for my ex-partner, erstwhile friend at the end of his life.  Thanks to help and advice from the hospice his symptoms / pain were fairly well-controlled in the last few weeks in my opinion but it's a cruel disease for sure.  Nobody wants to talk about it now.  Not even our children who loved him dearly.  It's hard to talk about terminal illness in a straightforward way perhaps.  There's the physical side, the emotional side, the practicalities, the relationships between people.  An awful lot of trauma in a relatively short space of time in which you learn a lot but never, it seems, quite enough.

Can you bring yourself to write a little more?    

[rhi]

Thanks to you both for responding. My beautiful Mum passed away on the 28th March. 1 day short of 11 weeks from her diagnoses. The last week was horrific. She suffered a stroke, her second in as many weeks. They said the best thing to do was make her comfortable and I just don’t think she was, definitely not at first.  We were never advised of the risk of strokes or, what it would have meant when they said they could make her comfortable. It was just horrific. They could have prepared us by having frank discussions but they didn’t. I suppose im just looking for an outlet. The reality hasn’t set in. It’s beginning to. I can’t begin to comprehend life without her but I have to. I just can’t believe she’s gone. It’s like I can and I can’t at the same time. I know it’s happened it’s just so unbelievable. I suppose I don’t know how to feel or who to talk to. I’m sick of crying. It’s just so heartbreaking for everyone: so bloody unfair. Everything just happened so fast. I’m so sorry you both had to go through this awful disease. It’s the worst.

[Thesea]

While I'm not sure if it is possible to really 'come to terms' with someone we love having a terminal disease, 11 weeks really sounds too short a period of time in which to even start doing that.  

The Hospice offered me counselling.  I haven't taken up the offer as yet but am keeping it in mind.  Do you think that might possibly help you a bit?

[rhi]

She had only engaged briefly with the hospice with nurses at home. It’s not something they’ve been in touch to offer and I’m not inclined to reach out to them either. Thank you again though. I suppose having an area to vent helps in a way. I think.

 

[Thesea]

I actually think even just responding to a few posts has helped me in some way.  If so, that's very surprising.  I can only think that perhaps it is really hard to talk about pancreatic cancer at all ... perhaps a lot of us bottle things up even more than we otherwise might.

[rhi]

I agree. Having an area where there is anonymity with people who have had similar experiences helps. I think. I know I’ll try and sleep tonight after having a good scroll around to see if anyone else out there feels the same way in some way. Hope you’re doing ok out there. I’ve had a pretty rotten day and need to spend some time repairing the eye bags I can’t seem to shake off. A small but daily reminder of the loss I’m feeling.