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My Lovely mum


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My mum who is 82 next week has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She has severe arthritis and Parkinson’s disease but at the moment remains independent in her own home

The oncologist offered chemotherapy but she has turned this down, which I do agree with as she wants to carry on going out and about with her friends and not held back by the main side effect of tiredness

The plan is to rescan the first week in January then see the oncologist again mid January

I know everyone is different but I’m so anxious about what the future holds for my mum and wondered if anyone has any thoughts to share with me

Thanks for reading

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Hi Honey,

It's hard to say what the future holds, as everyone's disease progresses differently. I'm sure you know that the statistics are really poor. I'd suggest reading Marmalade's thread 'our journey without chemo' as that will give you some insights along a similar path as your mum is taking. We followed the path of 'fight it with all our might', and we had 2 years with loads of chemo and surgery.

Pain is common, but should be managed. I'd get the palliative care team on board (Macmillan or hospice or whomever does it in your area) as they are great at liaising between all the professionals and will also advise on any benefits available...she will definitely be entitled to attendance allowance if she doesn't already get that for her other medical issues.

Lots of strength as you face this...we say it's a rollercoaster ride...lits of ups and downs. I hope she manages a good quality of life, however long she has left.

Any questions, post away.


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Hi Honey,

Welcome to the forum. No one wants to be here but it provides a wonderful support network for patients, family and carers. I am sure you will find it helpful.

Veema has already pointed you to my thread but as she says, everyone is different and it can be a real roller coaster ride, if you read other threads you will see that people can be quite poorly and come back and have a few good weeks or months which is why it is difficult to say exactly how things might progress. I think your Mum is great, she is obviously going to get the best she can out of life while she has it. Veema is also right about developing a relationship with the local hospice or palliative care team early on. They are brilliant at pain management and they often run courses for both patients and carers which help with confidence, give information on managing diet, exhaustion, breathing and pain and massage, finances and other important things. It all helps so if it is offered please give out a try.

I hope you will find the forum helpful and that you keep posting and let us know how you are getting along. No one will ever judge you on here and we all understand the fear, anger and anxiety which many feel.

Best wishes

Marmalade x

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