Grumpy's Story

[Quickasyoucan]

Hi Elaine it's very kind of you to ask after us. My stubborn dad continues to defy the odds and is still here but v weak now. He went back into the hospice and had a permanent drain for his ascites put in via a short trip to hospital and back to the hospice.he had a bit of relief but definitely weakened and expressed a wish to die at the hospice which we have been very lucky they agreed to. I have lost track of weeks but he did go through a v drowsy period when we thought it was over. But then he woke up again and ate an ice cream a few days ago. He also apologised to my sister for continually saying he wants to die in her company and said it's not personal!! My poor sister has been doing it all but her hubby is now taking shifts at the hospice. Dad has periods of agitation as he underreports pain so they have now fitted a syringe driver and they are using sedation. Things are strangely calm generally as I can no longer FaceTime him as he's too weak. He may go soon or he may linger but I just want him not in pain and not scared .

[Justamo]

Hello Quickly.

I noticed you mentioned a cockroach called Barry. Did you ever read a book called Archie & Mehitabel ? I think it's Australian. It's about a cat and a cockroach who are Best Friends.

If Boris brings back a cockroach I will leave home. I can't cope with anything that's got more than 4 legs.

It sounds as though Grumpy is calm and peaceful even if it's because of sedation. And if they've got the pain sorted out that will make things much easier for him.

Thinking of you and the rest of our forum family,

Love

Mo

[Quickasyoucan]

Hi All Dad died peacefully around 11 am last Monday in the hospice where he wanted to be.

Last Saturday night he suddenly spoke for the first time in ages and said to my sister 'ring my daughter'. When she said 'I'm here Dad' he said 'my other daughter'. She FaceTimed me and I managed to talk to him for a couple of minutes. He couldn't talk but I think he smiled. My other sister in Oz managed to FaceTime too. My brother came down from London on Monday morning the last child not to see him recently as he has been overseas. Dad stopped breathing as they were turning him half an hour after my brother arrived. So the circle was complete. Dad was almost gone already so we feel sad but happy for him to be free and hopeful in some way he is reunited with my mum. Dad managed nearly 8 months after the first symptoms and only 1 cycle of chemo which didn't work. He was brave and strong and we all miss and love him v much. George his dog is v settled with my sister who was dad's lifeline in these last few weeks. We can never thank her enough. Xx

[Guest]

Dearest Quickly,

I am so very sorry for your loss but very pleased that your Dad was able to go the way he wanted having said cheerio to you all. It is a rare thing these days. You all did a good job in spending time with him, staying in touch (God bless the internet) and making sure he was cared for and comforted each in your way. I wish you strength and peace and send you love. M xx

[Veema]

So sorry Quickly...but like you say, he was ready.

Much love to you all...it sounds like, between you, you did a marvellous job.

Vx

[Didge]

Glad it was peaceful and he got his contact with you and your other sister. Xx

[Proud Wife]

I am so sorry for your loss. Stories like this catch at my heart because it's obvious your Dad was waiting for your brother before crossing the divide. I think your Dad did really well with only one chemo. Just as you are proud of him, I'm sure he is proud of each of you for looking after him and George so well.

Don't forget to look after yourself too in the coming days/weeks.

Lots of love

PW

[Dandygal76]

I am so sorry for your loss. We also had an amazing experience of dad just knowing. Your dad got to say his goodbyes and now he lives through you all. Cry, grieve, laugh and smile. It is the most surreal experience. We are here for you. X

[jay]

I am so sorry for your loss.

Love Jayne

xx

[Justamo]

So sorry Quickly. It sounds peaceful and you spent time with him that really mattered to you both and to your family.

Love

Mo

[Sandiemac]

My sincere condolences to you and your family. As much as anyone can be said to have had a "good" death it sounds as if your dear dad did. I'm sure he felt content he had spoken with all his children and I hope it's some comfort for you. You are in my thoughts.

Sandie x

[sandraW]

Quickly, sorry to hear about your Dad, isn't it amazing how he hung on to see your bother, lovely that you got to see him one last time by facetime too. It will be surreal for you as you are so far away, I'm glad his passing was peaceful and I am sending you a ((HUG)) just in case you need one because even though you knew he was going to leave you no one ever wants to loose their "dad" take care love sandrax xx

[WifeampMum]

Dear Quickly,

Sending you my heartfelt condolences. It's good that your Dad was able to spend his last days in the hospice where he felt comfortable and cared for.

Love and hugs

W&M xx

[Elaine123]

Quickly I was sad to read your post that your Dad had passed away. I think although we know from the diagnosis what the outcome is going to be it doesn't make it any easier and we are never prepared for the end. You will be so glad you spent time with your Dad. Everyone says that time is a great healer but it is still early days for you and I and our grief is still great. One day we will be able to look back at all the happy memories. Take care Quickly and keep in touch xx

[stepuha]

I am very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with your family.

X stepuha

[PCUK Nurse Rachel C]

Dear Quickly,

I am so sorry to hear this sad news.

On behalf of everyone at Pancreatic Cancer UK, I would like to offer our heartfelt condolences.

Our thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.

From all the support team,

Rachel

Pancreatic Cancer Specialist Nurse

Support and InformationTeam

Pancreatic Cancer UK

email: nurse@pancreaticcancer.org.uk

support line: 0808 801 0707

[raun cesar]

Well it’s a good to know, his situation is improving. I can understand it’s hard to go home without Jake. All he need is to stay strong, Take Care!!

[Veema]

raun cesar wrote:

> Well it’s a good to know, his situation is improving. I can understand it’s

> hard to go home without Jake. All he need is to stay strong, Take Care!!

Perhaps you should read the whole post...maybe you've made the mistake of posting on the wrong thread...it happens, but Quickly's father died over a week ago now.

Vx

[Justamo]

Hello Quickly.

I am so sorry that you are still missing Jake. Animals can be every bit as important as people in our lives, and even though I've got Boris, and love him to bits, I still sometimes miss Pink Floyd, my last cat, especially on days like this - quite warm and sunny - when she used to lie on the carpet in a patch of sun and her fur had its own beautiful scent when she got warm. Boris is completely different in character, but I love him to bits too.

Now that you've had a spell on your own I think you should consider another dog if you can manage it. You've obviously got a lot of love to share and a dog-shaped hole in your life. Perhaps adopting an adult dog rather than coping with a puppy ? Maybe it would be easier to manage day-care for an adult animal ?

A week or so after my father died, one of my cats had a heart attack right in front of me and died in the Vet's surgery. Annalee was a sassy little cat with tons of personality and when I grieved for her I grieved for my dad too. I expect your grief for Jake is a bit mixed up with the loss of your dad and it's making it all feel worse.

Lots of us on here really do understand how you feel, and are willing you to feel better soon. And I hope to hear of a new addition to your family before very long.

With much love

Mo x

[sandraW]

Quickly, I agree with every single word Mo has written, I sobbed and sobbed when I had to put my cat Oscar down 2 years ago now, like Mo I am sure some of the tears where for Trevor. I had tried to be so brave when I lost him, but it seemed okay to cry for our beloved cat, the poor vet I still feel for him with me awash.

I have decided not to get another cat, I have my little Shih tzu Missy so she is great company, but every know and then I still hanker for another feline in my life. take care love sandrax xx

[Quickasyoucan]

Thank you for your responses. I think the problem is it's not a dog shaped hole it's a Grumpy and Jake shaped hole. Two personalities who cannot be replaced. On a brighter note Dad's dog George is happy at my sisters with his vizla girlfriend holly. My sister even posted a picture of him running the other day not something he often produces being more of a trotter. Big smile on his face too. Dad was devoted to G who helped him after Mum died so my sister is doing a great job.