Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

[Justamo]

I've had a good swim, met a buddy at the pool and we exercised together. Mostly our tongues, I have to say, but we did wave our arms around a bit and got slightly out of breath. She didn't get her make-up smudged, and I skipped the jumping jacks, but we covered President Trump, the merits of using garam marsala rather than curry powder in kedgeree, and Marks & Sparks knickers. We thought one a bit doubtful, another worth a try and agreed that one had dropped off a bit lately. So it was relaxing and nice, and a whole lot more fun than changing the beds.

Peter is feeling a bit better and his chest sounds clearer today. I think that really it was a severe case of man flu, but colds are never a fun way to pass a week and as PC patients have so many different symptoms and chemo throws up so many side effects, we were right to see the doctor. I am certain that he caught it at the chemo clinic last Wednesday.

Boris is clamped against my leg like a furry limpet and Peter is watching balls in the telly. Snooker balls because there aren't any golf balls or foot balls. I am not chomping painkillers, and the regular evening headache hasn't manifested itself yet so I really must make the time for exercise. It works for me. Funny, really, because I didn't used to like swimming. (So difficult to keep your cigarette alight up the deep end), but I don't smoke any more and the hydrotherapy pool at hospital worked wonders. Our gym and pool is full of old ladies like me during the day and it's relaxing as well as therapeutic. And it's difficult to eat chocolate when you're using the rowing machine so that helps too.

Time to unclamp the furry limpet and attack the washing up. Google tried to type Washington. You don't think the CIA are monitoring my posts because I was less than respectful about The Donald do you ?

Take care

Love Mo

[Justamo]

Well, folks, it's been quite a week so far. I've been checking this site at 10 minute intervals over the last couple of days and am not really surprised at the level of support shown to those who need it. It's what this forum is all about really. And great to get Good News stories too; it reminds us that good things do happen along this road.

We saw Dr Feelgood yesterday, but it wasn't Doctor Feelgood. It was a Senior Nurse (who we haven't met before) and she checked Peter quite carefully, bearing in mind his slight chest infection and so on to see if he was OK for chemo today. And he was. And she asked us if we had any questions, so I did have a few for her, mostly about night sweats (which have started again) and altogether she was so helpful and grounded and knowledgeable, and when I asked about CA19.9 she said it was too late to get the last blood test done, but the next one would include the numbers if I wanted them. SO helpful. I don't know where Dr Feelgood was, although I could hear him laughing somewhere in the nether regions of the clinic, but really Fiona told us all that we wanted to know so we left feeling confident.

And I should like to report that after the clinic (which took 3 hours - it was absolutely PACKED) my husband took me out to lunch. Actually, we went to a drive-through McDonalds, and I had a children's Happy Meal, which is plenty for me, and he had chicken thingies with a huge pot of sauce. All very ordinary, but for some reason we felt like kids bunking off school and we enjoyed ourselves. He had chemo this morning at 09.30, and then came to the gym and waited till my aquarobics class was over and we were home by 12.30.

This afternoon I am supposed to be doing some work for the Golf Club (designing a programme for a major tournament) but it's not going right at all so I've saved it into a folder and will have another look later on.

Hope everybody is feeling OK, Quickly, please start a thread of your own so that we can find you.

Take care, Love Mo

[Guest]

Hi Mo,

What a lovely post! Isn't it lovely when things go well and you have these moments of well, fun I guess. Glad you got your exercise in too. Yes leave the golf club thing, just call it a bunking off day and enjoy!

Just in case…..Never feel coy about posting your normal Boris, Peter, marmalade manufacturing posts if you feel like it, we so enjoy your posts and are also here for you. Even if life for some is pretty rubbish it warms the heart to to read about relative normality or a good experience or just something other than our own troubles.

I hope you have a pleasant evening and a restful night M x

[Proud Wife]

Oh yes, I so agree! I've got withdrawal symptoms. I definitely need a bit of Mo. And boris. And of course peter and the diabetic nurse who failed to keep up at the back. On my phone so forgive poor grammar x

[Elaine123]

Good morning Mo .......I am delighted that Peter got his chemo this week after the rotten time with his cold. Your visit with Fiona sounds like one that gives you confidence.....do you think it's a P.C thing that makes us give everyone nicknames lol. Pete has a " Darling buds of May " nurse. ( the TVs programme ) another one is " Ben Hur " ??.

I hope Peter has a good week after his chemo and maybe you can dine out a few more days ......I also wonder if P.C maybe elevates McDonalds into 5***** dining as I am in there quite often since a DN told me that their milkshakes have over 700 calories in them and I immediately thought that could mean another half ounce on Pete at next clinic day. Our new normal is so different eh and it's amazing how quickly we settle into it.

Wishing Peter a great normal week. You too.

Elaine

X

[Dandygal76]

The one bonus of PC is all the lovely lunches I have got out of dad waiting for appointments or being in London. Nom nom nom. We have dined more that we had his entire life beforehand.

I am glad Peter is ticking along. We have to keep moving forwards and I am taking my own advice now and about to go back to work! They must be starting to think I have a fetish of announcing imminent death in the family just to get a day off.

xxx

[Justamo]

Today we got some attendance allowance money backdated to December.

I think I'll spend it on cat food and gin.

Love Mo

[Guest]

Well done you although I'm not sure you will like the cat food xx

[Didge]

Good idea! The cat will be delighted! X

[Proud Wife]

And if the said food was not actually intended for Boris?

[Justamo]

Well he's certainly not getting his paws on the gin, PW

X

[Elaine123]

Fantastic Mo that is very welcome news for you both. I am imagining Boris on the gin lol. Really happy for you both.

Elaine

X

[Justamo]

He's too tired Elaine. He's had a busy day sleeping and purring and eating. A cat can only do so much in a day you know.

Actually, we spent some of the back-pay on a new TV for Peter. He's spent all afternoon in front of it - fast asleep. Which is what he has done during very cold and non-golfing afternoons since he retired. Only now it's called Chemo Fatigue and he gets self-righteous about it.

So both the men in my life are cosy and comfortable.

Take care

Love Mo

[Guest]

Now then Mo, how are you all?

We miss the bulletins written in your own inimitable way. Of course you will be fretting about DG and Dad but there is enough love and support for everyone. There is no pecking order and no one has to write in a Sunday voice.

I've been to Italy, Venice and Verona and some obscure places round about. It was cold and damp but relaxing and everywhere I went people wanted to give me risotto so I have had lots of bits and bobs in rice and prosecco. I had not understood that while we drink the stuff the Italians mostly make risotto with it!

How is Peter doing with the chemo and how are you doing? Have you been able to swim?

Much love, M xxx

[Guest]

Hi Mo, how are things with you?

M xx

[Justamo]

I'm sorry I haven't posted since I got the back-dated attendance allowance money. I spent it on gin. No, I didn't really, but sometimes I feel like it. I don't even like gin in the winter, I think it's a summer drink with two bits of lemon and slimline tonic. In winter I like whisky and diet coke. By the time I've had a couple of large ones I'll drink nearly anything but haven't actually hit the meths yet.

My Patient is fine. Last Wednesday he had the second dose of his 4th cycle of chemo. Hardly any side effects, although he's desperately trying to think some up. Fatigue seems to be the main one but since his default setting in the winter is bottom-welded-to-the-armchair-in-front-of-the-telly it's a bit hard to tell if it's a side effect of not. Dr Feelgood said it would be 'gentle' chemo and now Peter won't let me come to chemo clinic with him. Because he's such a tart with the nurses, that's why. And I bought him a hugely expensive (£55 out of the winter heating allowance for old-age pensioners) bottle of aftershave for Christmas and he chucks it on by the handful before he goes to the clinic.

So I've had swimming FOUR DAYS this week. Not in the mornings when I would usually bump into mates, but lunchtimes and afternoons - whenever my nursing duties allow. I've also seen my own GP because my pain is building up again and I'm not coping with it very well; she has upped my medication a bit and it's worked within 3 days. Great. I also have an appointment with the practice physio next week because I have 3 prolapsed discs in my upper spine and I must be doing an exercise which aggravates it - tingling fingers and pins and needles and very sore neck + headache. The physio will have a quick look and modify my routine a bit so that I don't make it any worse. And I topped the whole week off with a long overdue visit to the hairdresser. So I didn't have time to go on the booze.

My lovely cousin's condition seems to be fairly stable - she is having her chemo trial and tolerating it very well. No more choking incidents and her appetite is good. Her partner took all the dogs out at the beginning of this week and fell on an icy pavement. She has made a very good job of fracturing her wrist (may need surgery) so it's taken the spotlight off Jo for a while which may be a good thing. They have a queue of friends waiting to take them to hospital appointments and shopping so transport is not a problem.

Boris has a new party trick. Stealing towels, especially nice clean ones waiting to be put in the linen cupboard, He has never really grasped the concept of Cat Sitting on Mat; his version is Cat Rolled Up Tight Inside Mat. So we keep finding sausage rolls of towels strewn all over the house, some of which are inhabited by a sleepy cat. Today he is having a tiny tin of tuna for breakfast and dinner; he is on a prescription diet but he got some tuna from Santa so he thinks it's his birthday. It's only the protein in chicken which affects his skin so I hope he'll be all right.

So that's where we are at the moment. All quiet on the northern front, marking time, seizing whatever kind of day we are given and being very aware of just how lucky we are. Especially when I read other posts. It's a lousy day here, wet and quite windy, just the sort of day to stay in and not feel guilty about a messy garden. Boris brought me a present of a beautiful leaf yesterday and laid it solemnly at my feet and I was thinking of training him up to clear all the leaves but he can't go out today - we don't want a soggy moggy.

Take care all of you, God bless,

Love Mo

[Proud Wife]

YAY! Mo's back. Love hearing from you. Really happy the patient's doing well, Boris is being Boris and you are able to do what you want to be doing, although you need to nip that pain in the bud.

Love to you all xx

[Guest]

Oh Mo, so pleased to hear all the news and to know that you have not gone off with the backdated attendance allowance and done a Shirley Valentine, dinner in the dog (cat in your case), gone to Greece.

Glad also to hear that you are getting some help for your aches and pains, you must be in agony with those discs, tell us what the physio advises for the pins and needles as my business partner has the same thing and is on hard core drugs for his, poor chap he is only 35 and has prolapsed discs too.

I never found a way of posting pictures on here which is a shame as we would all enjoy seeing Boris. I feel he is quite a character. Maybe you could email one to me...

Huge hugs

M xxxx

[Elaine123]

Great to read your post Mo and so pleased that Peter is managing his chemo well...will be great if that continues. You could do with a few weeks of less worry and stress and try to get your own back issues sorted. Love your posts Mo they don't half cheer me up , take of you both

Elaine

X

[Elaine123]

Was supposed to read ...love to both lol bloody predictive text

[Justamo]

The Google keyboard and I do not always agree on what I am writing. That's why I don't post unless I have cranked up the desktop computer. The stupid little tablet and the bigger and newer tablet each use Chrome with a googly keyboard.

It once typed scrotum in the middle of a very serious an earnest post but the best one was when it called DG 'Randy Girl'.

I rest my cat.

I mean I rest my case.

Love Mo

[Justamo]

Overheard on a train, quite a long time ago.

"How is she, then ?"

"Oh, very poorly. But she's having an X-Ray tomorrow".

"She'll feel better after that. Nothing like an X-Ray to pick you up a bit".

Which is why I wish Peter had had an X-Ray instead of a CT scan today. Yesterday, he told me that he hadn't felt as well for months and he took himself out for a walk and we celebrated with his favourite supper. Today we went up for a scan at 9am and now he's home, flat out in an armchair, white as a sheet and feeling like the wrath of God. Maybe it was the fasting early start. And it's very cold here today.

He had to report at 9, drink the nasty contrast stuff and the CT was scheduled for 10am. They actually called him through at 9.40 and the scan was over and done with by 10.00, but he's felt queasy and weak and thoroughly out of sorts all day. We stopped for a late breakfast and checked his blood and did his insulin, and he had an extra cup of coffee while I whizzed round the supermarket, but by the time we got home at 11.15 he was completely washed out. He keeps asking me if he looks alright, and I've told him he looks fine, but he is a bit pale and his body language is in tragedy mode. He's warmly tucked up and swearing at the TV, so he's comfortable enough for the time being.

It's taken the gloss off what would otherwise have been a good week. I managed three swims and a visit to the physio for some additional exercises to help with my sore upper spine. The physio, based at my GP's surgery, is a tall boy of about 14 and obviously he doesn't like me one single bit. He used to give me such lovely presents: a very swish NHS walking stick, a nice white polystyrene collar to wear, even a pair of crutches when I broke my ankle. And do you know what I came away with yesterday ? A long thin floppy rubber item in a bilious shade of green. I mean, really. Do I strike you as the sort of person who would get excited about emerald green rubber ? Other people come out of the doctor's with prescriptions for interesting substances. I get rubber.

He did give me some exercises to do, some of which involved the green rubber thing, so I went off to the gym and they translated his silly green rubber exercises into activities I can do on their hard-core resistance equipment. The other exercises can be done in the pool, so I did a few, but they hurt, so I did a few lengths and then sat in the jacuzzi for half an hour which was the best bit of the day. I will persevere with the exercises but I shall remain deeply offended at the green rubber for quite a long time.

Next week is full of clinics and appointments and chemo and blood tests and an eye clinic to round it all off nicely. I just hope my guy starts to feel better.

I loved the references to Glen Campbell on other threads, I have a story about Peter which I'll save for later.

Take care, Love Mo

[Justamo]

Well, My Patient recovered his equilibrium over the weekend, still felt queasy on Saturday but was well enough on Sunday to eat a hearty lunch and argue with the TV. I spent an exciting morning cleaning, vacuuming and generally mucking out and catching up with all the things I should have been doing during the week but didn't, because Peter either felt well and happy so we did going out and stuff, or else felt awful so he needed attention indoors.

Yesterday we started a week of appointments. Peter saw the nurse at his GP practice so she could take blood for his chemo on Wednesday. They had also sent him a reminder letter about having a diabetic foot check, and as it's the same nurse who does both blood-letting and inspecting feet, he asked her to do the foot check then and there rather than make yet another appointment. But, apparently, she was in blood-letting mode, not foot mode, so he will have to make another date.

Then this morning he had an eye clinic check. Just before the PC diagnosis he was told he had macular degeneration, which would have been terribly important if it hadn't been completely trumped by the PC. So injections into his eyes do not elicit the same level of drama queen stuff which they would have done in the past. This morning was only a check up though, so no additional trauma. The last injection caused him a lot of pain and it seemed awful because it coincided with chemo. One of his eyes has improved slightly, which was good news.

This afternoon he had an appointment with the oncology nurse - a new one, who we haven't met before. And . . . roll of drums . . . she had the result of Friday's CT scan, and the tumour HASN'T GROWN since the last scan. She wasn't able to give me the CA19.9 marker because that test has to be sent away, but his blood is fine for chemo tomorrow. We practically skipped home, but went via the art shop so that I could celebrate with some new paints. I would have preferred some gin, but there you go. And Peter celebrated with his favourite tea - sardines on toast. We were full of food because we had a picnic while waiting for the oncology clinic so we haven't bothered with a cooked meal. Tomorrow he will go off for his chemo, drenched in expensive aftershave, while I go to my aquarobics class.

I think I may have mentioned that Boris has taken to stealing clean laundry and wrapping himself up in it. It's a Siamese Thing. They Have Attitude. So, I made him a sleeping bag. Honestly. Imagine a pillowcase lined with fleece and interlined with the wadding that goes inside quilts and you'll get the idea. So we have a deeply happy cat that we hardly ever see because he's always in his sleeping bag. At this point I am not not sure which of us is madder, him or me, but it makes for a peaceful house. I'm sure I could market them if I had the time.

I really needed today's good news. It has occurred to me that when Peter goes I shall be alone. (Cue violins . . ) My darling cousin isn't likely to live much longer, and then there will be nobody. Nil. Zero. Nada. I was wondering if I could put Boris down as next-of-kin in the event of me being run over by a bus and admitted to hospital ? And then I panicked at the thought of who would look after him if I wasn't here. But today's cheerful news has stopped me thinking on those lines. And I could always put handles on Boris's sleeping bag and carry him around with me.

Take care

Love, Mo

PS - Having read this over and corrected about a million typing mistakes, it occurs to me that you may well think that I have gone barking mad and should Be On Tablets. You're probably right.

[Guest]

You stay just the way you are Mo!

Brilliant news about the tumour, whoop whoop! Though for the life of me I can't think why you are bothering with foot examinations. We knocked all but essential appointments on the head as it was just too tiring and a bit ridiculous.

The being alone thing is pants, I feel it and I have a daughter, albeit 1.5 hours away and very busy. I understand that 20% of the current generation will not have children and therefore many will be left alone. It's a situation we have not seen since the first world war. Maybe there is a place for the old style residential hotel, it sounds so much better than sheltered housing or retirement home. I heard a play once about a group of older people buying a big house and using their pensions to hire staff to cook and clean and so on. Pooling resources. Not sure about that one. While I think it inevitable that these thoughts come up, none of us can say what will happen next in our lives. My 93 year old neighbour remarried last year, and a retired clergyman I know has also become hitched again well into his 70's, then there is internet dating for "mature people"... Alternatively you may write a best seller, become famous, be surrounded by flunkies and carry Boris around in a diamond studded sleeping bag, who is to say what will become of us? All I can say for now is that once the loss has abated a little, being alone does give you a kind of freedom not experienced for many years to literally please yourself. It takes some getting used to and is no match for a loving hug but it brings opportunities to travel, reinvigorate friendships and make new ones. The world is full of possibilities xxx

[Veema]

So pleased about Peter's scan results Mo...that's really perked me up!

I saw on the telly a few weeks back that a posse of owd biddies had had a house built for them all to live in...seemed a good idea.

I worry sometimes about being alone...what if I get a serious illness...who will look after me like I looked after Nige...? I got chatting to a homeless bloke this afternoon and wondered if I should have offered him a room...he was such a lovely chap...but I gave him a tenner instead for a nice warm hat.

Vx