Totally in awe of my wonderful Husband!

[Proud Wife]

No! he's now in hospital receiving some fluids as overnight it seems the infection if it is an infection has gone to his chest again or its this evil disease has spread further.

Waiting results of chest X-ray. Blood pressure very low, he doesn't even have the energy to drink water. I only hope it is an infection and dehydration. It is my sons 21st birthday on the 16 th of this month and I want him well for that.

Got no sleep but Atleast I didn't burst the air bed LOL! Xxx

Got to joke and laugh or I'd simply not stop crying.

[Dandygal76]

With the bloods the way they were there is a good chance it is infection and hydration. The drip fluids should kick in quickly and hopefully you will see some improvement. 16th is a long way off so don't despair as yet. Fingers crossed for you both. It is strange how even with all this going on there is often room for humour. x

[Proud Wife]

There just has to be humour, only you have to dig deep to find something to laugh about!

[Proud Wife]

I know I shouldn't google but it's irresistible.

I was told hubby's urine results from the lab showed it to be heavy on pseudomonas bacteria. I don't like what I read when googling pseudomonas - it seems to be a superbug and can be fatal those with poor immune systems. Because he's started coughing a wet raspy cough, I'm starting to worry its given him a chest infection as well and will be resistant to antibiotics.

Has anyone had any personal experience of this bug? xx

[Dandygal76]

Hey PW, I have just looked at some respectable websites and I read that sometimes it can be serious and sometimes not (depending where it is). Also, sometimes resistant and sometimes not. Don't panic, we always read the worst negatives in a crisis (well I do and I am a google queen as well). He is in the best place and it is better if he sees you calm. My son got an infection once in a cut as a toddler and had his eyes sealed shut for 3 days and 3 different IV's antibiotics every 3 hours. It was scary but it is amazing what they can do if it does turn out to be a bit nasty - keep us updated. Sending you hugs. x

[Dandygal76]

It is always a bit scary PW - I am right there with you tonight but nothing to google yet! x

[Dandygal76]

Hey PW - any news. I hope you have had better news in the night. x

[Guest]

Hi PW, Hope you have been able to rest a little, I'm sure I would puncture an air bed! I also hope that your hubby is more comfortable.

Just as an aside or little diversion I can tell you that when my daughter was training in a big London NHS hospital seriously ill patients used to be packed off from private clinics in taxis to their A&E department with a vast array of life threatening problems. Let's hope there will be something left of the NHS when the private sector fails in further.

Wishing you and your husband a more peaceful night and the strength to face a new day. xx

[Proud Wife]

I am going to be sleeping at the hospital tonight. Will update when more is known. Xx

[Proud Wife]

Correction. The pseudonomas was not found in his urine sample a few days ago but in his sputum sample from over a month ago, yep over a month ago when he first developed problems walking.

And no-one saw fit to try and treat it with the right antibiotics at the time. Great huh? Especially to be told on Tuesday that clinically nothing was wrong with him.

[Proud Wife]

And now look at him. Fighting for his life and just about as weak as weak can be this side of the divide.

[Paige]

How awful PW, nothing I can say to make this better, I am thinking of you. Xx

[boa]

Hi PW, thinking of you and your hubby. I know exactly how you feel. It is not easy for anyone. Catherine

[WifeampMum]

Hoping that your hubby's condition improves and that he's more comfortable today (and that you therefore have a better day too). Love, W&M xx

[Dandygal76]

Let us know when you can hun. Thinking of you. Dad is pretty ill as well and it is a helpless feeling but at least (I Hope!) we have not had negligence added to the mix. I can understand your anger but stay strong and deal with the rest of it when you come out of the other side of this. x

[Proud Wife]

What a night. When I get home I will tell the story. He was a very naughty hubby last night! Effects of the medication but he was asking me things like remove the bottom of the bed and got really angry with me when I said I couldn't!

I think it's pretty evident he's not coming home and I'm heartbroken. How long it takes is anyone's guess so I don't know what to do. I want to be here every minute of the day for him but he's not sleeping and he's so demanding you can't leave him alone for 2 secs. I am exhausted and need to sleep but can't leave him.

For those on the other side of the divide, what did you do because you can't be in 2 places at the same time xx

[Proud Wife]

Dg tell me how your dad is? Xx

[sandraW]

PW, so sorry to hear your news,

I stayed for 5 nights at the hospital oncology unit, they gave me a room as soon as it became apparent that Trevor was so poorly, and I stayed with him until he settled about midnight then snatched a few hours in a proper bed. They promised they would come and get me if needed, but to be honest he wasn't that poorly yet, but I still wanted to be there as I felt I would sleep better knowing he was just a few doors away and not a 30 minute drive away. Then when we moved to the hospice I stayed with him in his room 24/7 we had a single bed and 2 relax chairs, I spent the first night there in the bed, but then spent the last 2 nights in a chair at the side of his bed so I could hold his hand, so he knew I was right there, the boys also spent the last 2 nights there too.

Its such a difficult time, you must go with what is right for you, Trevor slept/or was in some kind of coma for the last 72 hours, but was aware when I wasn't actually physically touching him, as he seemed to be restless when I wasn't there (like in the loo or showering, or getting breath of fresh air), when one of our son's would take over, they both noticed it.

Your hubby is obviously much more unsettled but you must get some rest, I could nap during the day at the hospice, as you said no one knows how long it will go on for, and obviously I don't know how far away you are or what facilities they have for you. at the hospital.

Sending you love and strength to help you through, just wish I could do more, love sandrax xx

[boa]

Hi PW you can't be in two places at once. Different people will have different views but I went home to sleep. Unfortunately you don't know how things will go so you just have to do your best. I'm so sorry for this and send you warm wishes. Catherine

[Guest]

Hi PW,

Sorry to read this also. This disease is totally relentless.

To answer your question, I guess it is a very individual answer. When Dad was in hospital I stayed with him. Everyone and everything else could wait, they would be there later, Dad wouldn't. The hospital wanted me to leave overnight, I refused and laid on the floor all night. The then realised I was going no where and brought me a fold up bed. I left Dad only to go to the toilet, and even then, I would have had to be totally desperate to go. The only person I thought of was Dad.

Thinking of you. These are very tough times.

Leila xx

[Dandygal76]

My lovely friend. You need to do what feels right inside for you. If this goes bad you have your son to think about as well. There is no right answer... really no right answer. More than that... there is NO answer. Personally I would say go home and sleep. Your husband is fantastic, a fighter and a father. I will hold onto the last point... go home, sleep, be a mother because that is what he wants. And if you can't, don't beat yourself up. You are also a wife. A proudwife. x

[Linda G]

Ah PW, my heart aches for you both. Crying as I write this because I know how you feel and I know how very difficult this is. I agree with Leila, its a very personal decision. Stew was in hospital for two weeks and I was not allowed to stay overnight - I don't think they realised how ill he was. He went to the hospice from hospital and I only went home one night (he was there for 20 days). After that night I could not leave. Like your hubby he was very demanding at first, but I think that was because of the situation. I cannot imagine what must go on in the mind of someone at this stage. Once they started to increase his pain relief he became more settled. Eventually he stayed asleep for 12 days before he crossed the divide. I stayed all the time. Only popping out for fresh air when his son and/or daughter was there. I slept?? on a chair or fold down bed every night. It was where I wanted to be. Wishing you love and strength at this very difficult, heartbreaking time.

Linda G

XXXX

[Proud Wife]

You guys are all so amazing! Thank you very much for your support. I went home for a few hours and slept. I have packed my bag and I am here to stay! It was just yesterday that he was so demanding all night I had to question whether I'd be more use to him well rested than exhausted and broken. I just have to learn to leave it to the nurses to get him comfortable in the night because I can't function without sleep.

At the moment he's asleep. He knows that I am here and is just exhausted himself. They have put him on fluids and packing him full of antibiotics. My son and I were laughing today as he kept asking for silly things bless him probably due to the medication but for now he is making more sense.

I love this man to the end of the world and back again and I'm not ready to say goodbye yet. He better make sure he's not either!!

Linda I know only too well that you know exactly how I'm feeling. You crossed the divide on this forum not so long ago and all that I am going through right now must also bring back such painful memories. All I can say right now with very limited support due to overseas family and friends living far away is that I would be lost without this forum. Xxx

[Paige]

I am thinking of you at this unbearably difficult time. I can only reiterate what others have said, it is such a personal decision and I am sure what ever you decide will be the right one for you and your husband. With my Dad when he was in hospital we all thought he would be coming home for pretty much the whole 5 weeks he was there, we also weren't allowed to stay past 8pm in the evening and so would spend all day with him And then go home. However About a day after we found out he couldn't ever come home he was moved to the hospice and he was there for almost 2 weeks and at this point Someone stayed with him. Both my sister and I were so close to my Dad that it allowed us to take it in turns with my Mum to stay over night with him, we would all be there all day but then just one of us would stay allowing the other 2 to attempt to get a bit of shut eye. I would have stayed every night, I hated leaving my Dad but equally it is an exhausting situation emotionally and physically and again I had the comfort of knowing either my Mum or my sister was there over night with my Dad when I wasn't. The bit of rest I got when I went home really helped as I struggled to sleep at the hospice. Although the day we got told my Dad could go anytime none of us left until he was gone. My Dad suffered with a lot of agitation as time went on and they were able to give my Dad injections which really helped him to relax, we did have to mention his agitation and ask if there was anything they could do to be offered these.

Thinking of you PW

Xx

[Paige]

Hi PW, You must have posted as I was typing, so glad to hear you have been able to get some rest. I think we all function better when rested, it is a hard enough situation to be in even in the most rested state.

Xx