Family, friends and carers
A forum for family, friends and carers' of pancreatic cancer patients.
654 topics in this forum
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Is this nearly the end for my dad?
by Gems0804- 9 replies
- 9k views
Hi, I'm kinda new to this sort of thing so I'm a bit unsure what to say or do. Took me about half an hour to figure out how to post something haha. I will start with a little bit about mine an my dads life (sorry if it's boring I will be brief). My dad now 65 and me 28. From the age of about 4-5 I lived with my dad an didn't have contact with my mum as she is an alcoholic. Growing up my dad was my idol, I was like his shadow. My dad gave me the best start in life possible teaching me all the life skills I have now! My dad was a very active young at heart (and looking) man doing and working for anybody who needed help. He was always a bit on the larger side but in a health…
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First Post on here
by deb3927- 3 replies
- 5.6k views
This is my first post on here, I have lurked around a bit trying to get bits of information here and there since my mum was diagnosed and finally plucked up the courage to tell my story. My mum is almost 72 and was only diagnosed when a routine blood test back in February showed some abnormal liver results. Of course, when she had the CT scan it showed that it had already spread to her liver. I live in the US and she is in the UK so it makes this even harder! I want to know the truth no matter what but she just accepts whatever the Drs tell her and doesn't ask for more! The result of this is she thinks she will get well after her chemo and have a few more years!…
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- 3 replies
- 5.1k views
Really struggling to keep my mom upbeat and not slide into a sea of depression right now. She is one of the luckier ones who has been able to have Whipples surgery, completed on 26th June. We saw her surgeon on thursday who explained that thecancer was in 6 of the 19 lymph nodes he removed. Mom is due to start chemo in 6 weeks time, and in the meantime needs to get over the surgery. She has really swollen and painful legs which we are trying to get under control , and various other bits wrong, but every day brings a new struggle. I know that mom is wishing that she hadnt had the surgery, and just let nature take its course instead, and she is very down and emotional. I ju…
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At Last We Start
by wackywacky- 8 replies
- 7.4k views
Well the day as arrived YES we started Chemo (Gemcitabine and Abraxane ) both drugs given through a cannula and some anti sickness stuff also. They have sent us home with Domperidne to take for next 3days to prevent sickness. All went well he feels fine, so went shopping got home had some tea said felt tired went to bed now up waiting for football to start, bit of an anti climax with everything we have gone through up to now not use to things going as they should,. So lets see if anything happens, thermometer ready, 100% alchol free moth wash got, gloves ready for tingling fingers, bucket just in case tablets don't work, tel number on speed dial and beloved been told if …
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We're newbies!
by Ofmenandangels- 6 replies
- 7k views
Hello everyone, Im new here and thought that this would never happen to me. My beautiful, intelligent, clever brother who can always make me laugh and has always been sensible and cautious has brought me to you. I have read some of your stories and have found them awe-inspiring and beyond bravery, some heartbreakingly desperate and in reading some accounts I have had to look away. My brother is 45 years old with a wife and two lovely sons of 6 and 8 and has been suffering with dyspepsia, discomfort and nausea for about 9 months and been fobbed off by the GP as is usual it seems. Last week my mother who lives locally to him, and has been phoning me in worry because of his…
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All about me....not
by Pennie- 13 replies
- 9.5k views
My husband was told he had PC in August 2013 he had the whipple operation in October and survived much to his distress as he has stated he would have preferred to have just been given the 7 months to live and just die. Since the op he has undergone chemo but missing a lot of appointments due various reasons that I am sure as carers you will understand. The reason for this post is am I the only one living this nightmare where my husband wants to die ? We have no family locally so he when gets the phone calls he say's everything is fine. Its not fine I am living with a stranger not my husband he looks like someone from Belson, he now sleeps in his own poo (ok only twice tha…
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Honey!
by Dollysdaughter- 12 replies
- 11.3k views
Just a quick, practical post. We recently discovered Lifemel honey which I'm sure everybody who is interested in natural ways of healing is familiar with. My mum swears it is helping her so whether it is actually doing anything medically beneficial or not doesn't really matter! The problem is it's nearly £40 for a very small jar but just wanted to say I have found an international supplier for £20, yay! People may already know this and I'm behind the times but just thought I'd mention it in case anybody wants the details
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The Bystander
by Nelsmum- 4 replies
- 5.7k views
My husband John wrote this for fellow PC suffers and I he wanted to share it here, I have told him a lot about the support this site offers, so, from a carers point of view: "THE BYSTANDER" I know I'm only a bystander, To the trauma that you are going through, So what on earth could I possibly say, That would be of any help to you ? Probably nothing, but I'm still going to try, As it seems to me almost a sin, To see two sides locked in a deadly fight, That one finds so difficult to win I have watched over time as your illness, Has wreaked havoc with gathering pace, Causing so much despair and frustration, Leaving you with a very sad face I have w…
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For when we say goodbye
by Didge- 2 replies
- 5.5k views
My friend, who has just lost her mother, posted this link to Emma Freud's article from January this year. I found it very uplifting and informative so hope it proves useful for anyone who has just lost someone: http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/jan/04/emma-freud-guide-how-to-do-funeral
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Mom using Creons for first time
by lisa42- 3 replies
- 5k views
Please help - mom was prescribed Creons yesterday so took her first one before her dinner yesterday evening . She's been in pain all night, and had terrible wind , and can't cope this morning so has had to go back to bed. Is this normal or is something wrong?
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- 18 replies
- 13.8k views
Good evening everyone. My 74 year old mom was diagnosed with a 3cm tumour in her pancreas last Thursday, and has been in hospital since then. I'm devastated by the news, and scared of the new pains and feelings she experiencing. She has been told that it is operable but I'm scared to believe this until the specialists at the hospital she will be moved to confirm this. In the days she has been in hospital she has lost an unbelievable amount of weight, and really aged. This time last week she was running around with my 3 year old daughter, and working at our local hospice. She has a drain in at the moment to let the bile out, and there has been gallons of the stuff, but it …
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my mum
by bevstar- 5 replies
- 6.8k views
This is my first post but have been reading through forum's for a few weeks.my mum was diagnosed with pc 3 weeks ago. She has a 4cm tumour at the head the pancreas.The doctor has told us this is inoperable. Mum is 81 and also suffers with c o p d. She has had a stent fitted which has helped clear the jaundice. After the Mdt we went to see a specialist nurse at the hospital to get results from biopsy. The result of this was negative but was told this usually happens. Mum is feeling ok at the moment,she has a little bit of back ache and feels the odd niggle in her stomach. I don't really know what to expect but we were told her life expectancy is not long. It seems hard to …
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Mum feeling abandoned
by Dollysdaughter- 6 replies
- 6.3k views
Just wondering if anybody else has had this experience and if it is "normal" or if we should be concerned. Mum has had 3 cycles of Gemcitabine after which she had a scan and saw her oncologist. She wasn't told anything specific, just that the tumour looked about the same and that, due to her low tolerance if the chemo, the dose would be lowered and the steroids removed. For various reasons, which she didn't really understand, she then had about a month without treatment and had her "new" chemo last week. She doesn't have any further treatment scheduled though and is not due to see oncologist until May 26th. The problem is, mum is in Leeds and I am in Kent so I can't alw…
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What to do when your pushed away?
by Guest Fifi- 8 replies
- 7.1k views
I know my dad can't leave the house at the moment. But I was hoping that they could eventually sort his diarrhoea and he will be able to have days out. On Wednesday, I bought him 2 tickets to watch the St Leger at Doncaster. It isn't while September. He went mad when I told him and made me cancel them. He said I can't keep buying him things as it won't cure his cancer. I told him it was a Fathers Day gift. He said I made his diarrhoea bad and that I have to stop. Today, I told work that I want to be with my dad when he gets the results of his colonoscopy, they said they understood. I text my dad to not worry about me getting into trouble at work, as they respect my…
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Some Advice Please
by janem- 7 replies
- 7.3k views
Hi Someone I work with told me that he is being treated for IBS and has been for a few months, he was complaining for an aching lower back last month, then on Monday he told us at work that he had been to the hospital with a suspected heart attack at the weekend but yesterday he said the pain was severe and although in the middle of his chest they went right through to his back. Am I being oversensitive because of my fathers recent death because of this horrible disease or should I say something. He is 62 and about 20 years ago he lost his teenage daughter to cancer so to say something if I don't need to could bring back bad memories to him. Please can you say what …
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So apparently my father has cancer now.
by Persephone Hazard- 24 replies
- 19k views
My parents divorced when I was four, but there was never a custody battle or anything of the sort. They both handled it astonishingly well, at least so far as I was concerned, and I spent roughly 50/50 time with them each all my life. When I was sixteen, I went to live full-time with my father, whom I adored. My mother told me that it wouldn't be how I was imagining it; that when he was the one doing all the main bulk of the parenting we'd butt heads and fight just as much as she and I had. She was wrong. Even after that we never fought; not so much as once that I remember. I lived with him until I was twenty-two. I'm a professional writer. I earn my living entirely by…
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Wanting to help my mother
by Bookgirl2- 21 replies
- 14.4k views
Hello everyone I joined the forum back in January but this is the first time I've posted. I did join the live chat today but got disconnected from the chat room and couldn't reconnect (sorry Jeni - I think you may have offered some advice but I was disconnected before seeing it) I've read many of your stories and never fail to be impressed by how much support so many people going through terrible, tragic experiences offer each other. My mum (75), who has suffered from kidney failure for the past thirteen years, was taken ill very suddenly in the middle of the night in late November and was admitted to hospital where they diagnosed ulcers. She later became jaundic…
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Mother in Law very distressed - don't know what to say
by JacquiToots- 6 replies
- 6.8k views
My mother in law is in the final stages of Pancreatic Cancer. She was admitted to a hospice last week as she was too weak and ill to be in her own home. She is very sleepy and has lost so much weight she is not much more than bones and flesh. She has Ascites and is very sleepy most of the time and eats and drinks very little She is a lovely lady and it is breaking my heart that she appears to have completely given up. She is showing very little interest in anything when we visit her, doesn't want to get out of bed, watch tele or even talk. Due to family and work circumstances we are unable to care for her in her home and were relived to find her a hospice place. When s…
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Swelling after Gemcitabine?
by Dollysdaughter- 19 replies
- 12.7k views
My mum has had 3 chemo trts with Gemcitabine and a week off. It all went really quite well and apart from tiredness nothing too hideous. I was with her at the weekend and she seemed really well. Today she had the first of her 2nd cycle and I just called her to see how it went (I'm in Kent and she's in Yorkshire) I spoke to her friend who said she was just being put into an ambulance as she had swelled up, including her throat, and could hardly breathe. I now can't contact her until her friend calls to let me know what has happened so am really worried. I just wondered if this is something that anybody else has encountered? Thanks, Sara
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Lost in a nightmare 1 2 3 4
by amanda45- 86 replies
- 56.2k views
As many others before I have been wandering around the site for the last two and half weeks since my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Phillip,48 was a happy reasonably fit guy who went backwards and forwards to our GP for two months to be given several diagnosis - they finally settled on borderline diebetes and sent him away with a diet sheet and one of the senior partners words - your middle aged and overweight what do you expect, lose some weight and it will all go away. I then went back with him and demanded to see the senior partner and eventually got tests done which culminated one month later in the diagnosis being broken to us by him in his c…
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Is my mum close to th end?
by skating76- 12 replies
- 12.1k views
My mum was only diagnosed a few weeks ago but has been unwell since September. She is now asleep the majority of the time and when she is awake it's only for a few minutes and she just responds with single answers, not really 'with it'. She is very yellow, on anti sickness medication and morphine patches etc. The nurses come and visit most days. I just need to know if she is close to the end or if this is one of a number of stages to come. I feel as though I've lost her already. Skater
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New here
by mojo- 4 replies
- 6.2k views
Hi everyone My brother 55 was diagnosed stage 4 PC which had spread to his liver 3 weeks ago. He was admitted to hospital last monday for a stent he was put on saline and given Vitamin K, FFP? and plasma to prevent blood clotting. He had the stent on Wednesday and seems to have deteriorated since still barely eating and being dosed up with morphine injections. I am at a loss to know what to do there is never any nurses doctors to talk to and don't know what questions to ask if there were. I've been hovering around this forum for 2 weeks and you all seem so supportive, if anyone can give advise I am going to see him this afternoon. Love and thanks Mo
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My Husband 1 2
by Franks wife- 46 replies
- 42.3k views
My husband is 49 years old. We are both 50 in May 2013. He was diagnosed with PC in December, 2 weeks before our daughter's wedding. Straight away i Googled PC and shocked myself with the statistics for survival. I thought my world was ending and have never told my husband anything that i read. He is the most stubborn and pig-headed man concerning his diagnosis. He has promised me more than once that he is not going anywhere, he hasn't had his money's worth yet - as he puts it. He started his chemotherapy on the 9th January. First cycle was for 7 consecutive weeks, miss a week and now he is having the 3rd one of three tomorrow. Next week is a free week then it's …
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constipation and pain.
by mogs- 14 replies
- 13k views
Hi. My mum had her first chemo session on Wednesday. They almost cancelled it as she passed some blood when going to the loo as she is so constipated (She had not gone to the toilet for 10 days). Thankfully, they went ahead and she has coped really well. She has been a little sleepy but nothing like she expected. However, the constipation is a real problem. She managed to go to the toilet last night but was in agony. She is now too afraid to take her Laxido sachets as she is in pain and afraid they may make her go again. Even passing water hurts as she is sore. We're not due to have our first visit from a Macmillan nurse until 24th March and I just feel as if I'm constant…