A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

Moderator: volmod

Forum rules
Please see the messages in our "Rules" section

The posts on this discussion board are made by members of the General Public and are not intended to constitute medical advice
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:58 pm

Re: My Dad

Postby ali40 » Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:34 am

Hi Gill and Steve,

Hope your dad is back home soon sounds like he's really been through the mill lately.

I'm new to all this mum had her first chemo session last week so it's a steep learning curve for us, but helps to read other peoples stories so we are even more aware of what can happen and try and react quickly enough.

Best wishes

Posts: 103
Joined: Fri Jun 25, 2010 1:58 pm

Re: My Dad

Postby suef » Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:52 am

Dear Gill & Steve,

I'm so glad your dad is making progress, hope he can be home soon. Must be so hard for your mother at her age.

Dear Alison,

I also get a lot of support from this website, there is so much information on these pages, and real, practical experience from people who have been through it! It is also great to know people are thinking of you and what you are going through.

Much love,


Posts: 385
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:53 pm

Re: My Dad

Postby laura » Sun Mar 04, 2012 10:32 pm

hi gill and steve, do hope that dad continues to improve, seems like forever when things go wrong doesn't it?
you say mum got the answerfone when mum rang the mac nurses, i believe that if you leave a message it is passed to the nurse/s covering that day, perhaps you could ask for future reference, when you see the nurse?
hope things go well for all of you, cos what affects dad has a knock on affect on the whole family. love and good thoughts laura x

Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:51 pm

Re: My Dad

Postby Gill1301 » Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:44 am

Sadly Dad lost his battle earlier this morning.
We spent the day with him yesterday as we were told he only had hours, but he battled on and passed away around 8am today.
We are all devastated as you can imagine.

Posts: 238
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:38 pm

Re: My Dad

Postby louiepc » Tue Mar 06, 2012 1:31 pm

Dear gill and Steve, I am so sorry for your terrible loss.

Please accept my heartfelt condolences to all of your family at this very sad time.

Louie x

PCUK Nurse Jeni
Posts: 1112
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:30 pm

Re: My Dad

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:24 pm

Hi Steve and Gill,

So very sorry to hear about the death of your dad.

I guess it was not expected at this time, so no doubt, you are all shocked and devastated.

Please accept my personal condolences, as well as those of the whole charity, at this difficult time. Do contact us if you need to.

Best wishes,


Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:19 pm

Re: My Dad

Postby Gem39 » Tue Mar 06, 2012 10:25 pm

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Posts: 269
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: My Dad

Postby lynbo » Wed Mar 07, 2012 7:39 am

Steve & Gill

So sad to hear your loss, I'll bbe thinking of you all, much love
Lynbo xxx

Posts: 175
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:18 am

Re: My Dad

Postby rachelqt » Wed Mar 07, 2012 8:09 am

Hi Steve and Gill, Im so sorry to hear about your dad. Im sure you are all in shock that things took a turn for the worse for your wonderful dad. He is at peace now. Prayers are with you both at this sad time. Love Rachel xx

Posts: 21
Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:58 am

Re: My Dad

Postby Steve983 » Wed Mar 07, 2012 9:11 am

Thanks for your condolences everyone. Our Dad was taken from us far too soon, I will post more info when I've been to the hospital to discuss the cause of death etc. I am so upset, it's only the practical side of things serving as a distaction that is keeping me together right now. Dont worry though, we are all supporting each other very well, we even managed to arrange the funeral yesterday. As I say, there is more info that I want to share which others may find useful, I'll post again in a few days.

PCUK Nurse Jeni
Posts: 1112
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:30 pm

Re: My Dad

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Wed Mar 07, 2012 3:42 pm

Thanks Steve.

Hope the next few days are not too harrowing for you, and that all the plans go smoothly.


Posts: 385
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:53 pm

Re: My Dad

Postby laura » Wed Mar 07, 2012 6:39 pm

i am so sorrry steve and gill to have read your devastating news, what a shock for you all, so unexpected at this time, my thoughts and good wishes are with you, look after each other, and your poor mum. love laura xx

Posts: 74
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 4:29 pm

Re: My Dad

Postby millyjo » Thu Mar 08, 2012 9:38 am

Dear Steve and Gill,
Have been following your posts and was surprised to read the very sad news.
It is surreal.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Kind Regards

Posts: 56
Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2011 9:38 am

Re: My Dad

Postby CFF » Fri Mar 09, 2012 8:44 am

Gill & Steve

I was also surprised to hear your news - I'm so sorry

thinking of you and your family


Posts: 21
Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:58 am

Re: My Dad

Postby Steve983 » Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:44 pm

Thanks again people for your kind thoughts and wishes. I'm feeling a bit better now so here goes.

Ironically, the primary cause of death was Broncopneumonia. Dad had been fine with the first two chemo sessions, then the 3rd was delayed due to a chest infection. Following a course of anti biotics the 3rd chemo session followed a couple of weeks later. Sadly around 10 days after that he started to go downhill. Eventually we got him into hospital where he was given more anti bios and put on oxygen. After 2 or 3 days he seemed to be recovering but then when Mum & I went to see him on Sunday he didn't seem right at all.

By Monday morning he had suffered respiratory failure and the doctor told us he had only hours to live. Everyone came to the hospital and we stayed with him all day until we were exhausted. Luckily during that time he had a couple of lucid moments and was able to acknowledge our presence and even managed a couple of smiles. He was sedated most of the time though for his own comfort. Then on Tuesday morning before we could get to the hospital I got the phone call that he had passed away.

The irony of all this is that it was not the PC that directly caused Dad's passing. With hindsight it was likely the effects of the chemo that weakend his immune system and he Did not have the strength to fight the infections. This highlights the impossible dilemma of whether to have chemo or not. We were warned about the risks but had to take the chance to try to fight this awful disease, we could not have done otherwise, and Dad was totally up for it. Our only comfort is that he did not suffer too long and his quality of life was quite good until the last 10 days. I had hoped that Dad could at least have enjoyed some of the coming summer and maybe even make it to next Christmas but alas it was not to be.

(It's also worth noting that Dad smoked most of his life, until about 15 years ago that is when he ended up in intensive care with severe respiratory problems. We nagged and nagged him over the years to stop but it was no use, so the smoking got him on two fronts really.)

I would like to thank again everyone here who gave us reassurance and useful advice over the last few months, you are good people, especially those who have already lost a loved one but come back here to help others.


David Brian Smith 1935-2012