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PCUK Nurse Jeni
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Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:30 pm

Re: Confused

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Thu Apr 14, 2016 4:09 pm

Hi Mark,

I don't think it was Bri.


Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2016 8:12 am

Re: Confused

Postby Elemoy » Sat Oct 29, 2016 5:58 am

Hi, we had the news yesterday that my dad's cancer is terminal. He had a scan last week as consultant was concerned about weight loss and distended tummy and it was found that tumour had grown and they also found it in liver,bowel and stomach lining.
I asked my parents what sort of time we are working with but they said they hadn't thought to ask while they were so will ask at next appointment. It's taken since the end of July til now to grow and spread as that's when radiation treatment finished and dad didn't have anything while they waited for inflammation to go down.
Consultant has said that he could have chemo but he has to consider quality of life and dad would seem to be thinking thaThe will not have chemo which I understand. He's in so much pain and has lost such a lot of weight my mam has to support him to get around and h rarely leaves the house.
I'm scared of how quickly we might lose him. Does anyone have any idea what to expect? They have a hospice nurse visiting next week.

Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Confused

Postby Veema » Sat Oct 29, 2016 12:47 pm

Hi...I wasn't posting on here when you first posted, so this is the first time we've 'spoken' I think.

I can only go off personal experience and stuff that I have read on forums such as these and if there's no treatment I think it's fair to say it will probably be quite quick, but everyone is different. My husband had minimal spread to some lymph nodes at the beginning of June, but by mid July it had spread to lungs and by the beginning of September it had spread to liver and the lining of his abdomen...the latest spread caused him to have a build up of fluid in his abdomen, which made him really uncomfortable for several weeks until he had it drained, but it came straight back and he died on 23rd September, but it was sepsis caused by the fluid that actually finished him off.

Spend as much time with him as you can...make him as comfortable as you can...he shouldn't have to suffer any pain and the Hospice Nurse will help you decide how you all want to proceed...they may also give you an indication of how long if you want to know. She may talk to you about things like a DNAR, so in the event of him stopping breathing, he won't be put through the trauma of resuscitation and you may also get some 'just in case meds' which the district nurses are allowed to give him if necessary...things like strong painkillers, anti sickness, something to calm him if he gets agitated etc...they are injections. If you haven't already got them, things like a hospital bed, commode, pressure cushion for his chair and other medical stuff can help keep him independent for longer and will help keep him comfy...my husband had a couple of small pressure sores on his bum, so we got an air mattress and cushion.

Much love as you all face this...have a read through Marmalade's thread...how she dealt with the last few weeks of her husbands life makes inspiring reading and will also give you a sense of how calm and untraumatic it can be...it's all about the quality of his time remaining now.