frustrated

[sheena]

Seen Dr today Steve having bloods tomorrow reckons jaundice is from cancer on liver and not blocked stent .Will speak to oncologist but by the way Dr spoke its almost like we will keep Steve comfortable but can't do anything else.

[sheena]

Hoping to get him in hospice soon as he wants to be there and doesn't want any more treatment if they can offer him any .Steve is ready to pass and I have given him my blessing so now in the hands of God ,please make it quick as he is wanting to die and not be like this life is so cruel my previous husband is so changed and unrecognizable I pray for a peaceful passing .love to you all and please support us in our hour of need x

[Proud Wife]

You and Steve will be in my prayers tonight. I only wish I could say or do something that would help. Here to support you as I am sure everyone of the forum family will.

Hope you have a peaceful night. xxx

[boa]

Thinking of you and can empathise exactly with what is happening now. My husband became very jaundiced at the end because his liver was not functioning. Keeping you both in my thoughts and hope that Steve is admitted to the hospice and sleeps away peacefully. Warm thoughts surround you.

[Sueoliver]

Sheena you are both in my thoughts and prayers. I know exactly where you are right now.Do you have anyone supporting you or anyone you can talk to?
Thinking of you,
Love Sue xxx

[sandraW]

Sheena sending my love and strength, this is exactly what happened to Trevor, lets hope like Trevor he just goes to sleep. I hope you can get him into the hospice soon as you then have that wonderful support around you. sandrax xx

[PCUK Nurse Dianne]

Dear Sheena,

Sorry to read your most recent posts, I am sure these must be difficult days for you and Steve. Our thoughts are with you, and if we can help support you in any way please do not hesitate to be in contact with us.

Thinking of you.

Dianne
Pancreatic Cancer Specialist Nurse
Support Team
Pancreatic Cancer UK

[belgrade]

Hello Sheena,
I read all the posts everyday and have followed your journey from the start. I felt today, that I had to respond, just to say that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I remember feeling exactly as you do now, and you wonder how much more you can take, but believe me, the strength comes from somewhere. You say how Steve has changed so much and is ready to let go. I remember looking at my Dave a few days before he died, when he asked me how long it would be until the nightmare would be over. If I didn't know it was him, I wouldn't have recognised him. It's like watching a film, but so heart wrenching when you are the actors. All I can say is be there for him, be strong and reassuring, but remember to take care of yourself.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Hilary x

[Didge]

Sending my love through this nightmare xx

[sheena]

Well Steve is still here not sure how. Just about can walk as so weak eating sorbet that's it. Palliative nurse promises he is next on list for hospice bed so hopefully tomorrow. He is still jaundiced but has decided not to have a new stent fitted, which I'm glad as I don't think he would have made it. Has a rash over body - has any one else had a rash since becoming jaundiced? Nurse said because he been scratching but doesn't look like that to me.

So I'm still plodding on trying to get things right but doing the opposite. I am mentally drained and tired out. Will do catch up soon x

[Didge]

I think rashes can be due to liver problems. Can you get hold of the fortisip shots which are very small and can be swallowed in one mouthful? Thinking of you xx (and don't think you are 'doing the opposite'. You are doing brilliantly in what is a nightmare! You can only do your best and you are doing that!)

[sandraW]

Sheena love, please don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing your best and its all you can do at a time like this, no one, not even the professionals are sure of what the right things are. You are doing an amazing job.
I agree with Didge and think rashes are probably caused by the problems with Steve's liver, and evidently jaundice does make the skin itchy too.
I hope that Steve gets a bed today, and that you can get some rest. sending love and a cyber ((hug)) sandrax xx

[sheena]

Yes yes yes hospice bed tomorrow I am so relieved it's like winning the lottery .now my precious Steve can be cared for and I can now be his wife again and enjoy the next hours days week's .my heart is bursting and a lump in my throat feels huge but I'm holding on .Ty so much my friends love you all x

[Proud Wife]

That's brilliant news Sheena. Keep on in there, I can't begin to imagine what it must be like in your shoes and hopefully I won't find out for a long long time but I think you are doing absolutely brilliantly.

Thinking of you xx

[boa]

Good news Sheena. You are right. You will be able to be a wife not a carer. And hospice staff do a magnificent job. Peaceful thoughts to you both.