My darling Mum...

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your loss. You are quite understandably devastated and beginning the difficult road that is bereavement. I lost my husband in April last year and it too feels like yesterday. How do you ever get over something like this? I don't think you do, you just have to carry on as best you can, cope, manage, live. This does get easier - there was a time when I would catch sight of myself in the mirror and I looked haunted, gaunt, sad - now I look like my old self and I laugh and smile. My teenage daughter and I went to an event at the weekend, and we talked about how her dad would have enjoyed it and she was sad that he was missing it - I told her that he was with us and that we had to try and do more fun things so he could enjoy it with us. You will not imagine how you will cope, but you will - just take your time, be very kind to yourself and surround yourself with people who love you. I have said in my other post to you that I hope you find peace - talking about it will help - we will help you in every way we can.

with love

Deb

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You will get there - it won't be easy, but you will. I loved the quote Paul shared about just keeping on walking when in hell - so true - what else can we do? I too do not look at photos of when my husband was very ill - it is too painful - all I see is that horrible disease - I prefer to look at older ones, remember him when he was looking himself. Going back to work is tough - I remember that. I found it so difficult to concentrate and had no interest whatsoever in idle chitchat, even being around people - it all seemed so meaningless and I would count the hours before I could escape, to get home, to sanctuary. That has got easier as time has gone on - it is early days for you so be very kind to yourself and don't take too much on. It did not take much for me to feel completely overwhelmed so take care of yourself - you have a right to be very selfish for a while, guilt-free.

sending love

Deb

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