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Sammy-Lou
Posts: 56
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2012 3:02 pm

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby Sammy-Lou » Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:37 pm

Thanks everyone. I hope Xmas passed without sadness for you all..
I really must try to update things more often as there is always too much to tell.
I'm so grateful for spending the couple of hours we did with Anne on Christmas day, it looked as though she was going to be too unwell to manage at all and at 11am she was in terrible pain and not joining us at my brother-in-laws but after some oramorph she managed from noon for a couple of hours. I doesn't matter that she couldn't manage to eat but she was there!
She has been in such terrible pain and the ascites seemed to be worsening, her tummy is so swollen.. Following a trip to the day unit at the hospice we have the news that her MST is being increased, finally, something I've thought needed doing for such a long time.. they also told her that the swelling in her abdomen isn't all ascities.. It's at least another 3 tumours... on examining her they could be felt..
I was just starting to feel positive that she had surpassed her prognosis of 3 months given at the beginning of september.. now we are looking at up to 8 weeks.. 8 weeks is nothing and everything.. it's so much more than we expected but so little time.
My husband is being strong and not showing any emotion, he only said it was more time than he expected too..
Cherish every moment..
Sorry I haven't had time to catch up on everyone's threads, I will try my best to get a look over the next few days, I follow many of your stories and think about you all often..
Sam xx

laura
Posts: 385
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:53 pm

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby laura » Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:45 pm

sammy so sorry that mil has deteriorated, but pleased mst increased, please be, that she is kept OUT of pain, my thoughts are with you all, strength and love coming your way laura xx

charney
Posts: 74
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:29 pm

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby charney » Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:26 am

Sammy so sorry your MIL is not good, Im glad you got to spend christmas Day with
her my thoughts are with you
Big Hugs
cheryl xx

susikus
Posts: 188
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 11:01 am

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby susikus » Tue Jan 08, 2013 12:24 pm

Thank you for the update Sam, so glad you got to spend a little of Christmas together. I hope the coming weeks are as peaceful and as comfortable as possible for your mil. She definitely does not need to be in pain.
Lots of love
Sue
xxx
Last edited by susikus on Fri Jan 11, 2013 5:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

DRAD3
Posts: 435
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:22 am

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby DRAD3 » Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:54 pm

Hi Sam - So sorry to hear that things are so difficult but it was lovely to hear that your mother in law was able to be with the family at xmas - as you say, moments to cherish. All I can say is to reiterate what has already been said about being insistent that the pain management is given absolute priority now. It is so important that your MIL is made as comfortable as possible - time is precious and should be pain free and peaceful. Thinking of you and wishing the very best for you all.
much love
Deb
x

Catherine
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:31 pm

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby Catherine » Wed Jan 09, 2013 11:20 pm

Hi Sam,
I'm so sorry to hear your MIL is not good. I hope that she can be in no pain and that you and your family can enjoy (I'm not sure if that's the right word) some quality time together over the coming weeks.
I'm pleased that she managed some of Christmas day with you all, thank goodness she had oromorph handy.
Treasure each and every moment you can. Thinking of you Cxxx

Sammy-Lou
Posts: 56
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2012 3:02 pm

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby Sammy-Lou » Tue Jan 15, 2013 10:08 pm

Again I am going to apologise for the lack of replying to everyone else threads and the length of time it has take me to get back on to update. My Nan got rushed into hospital last Tuesday after suffering a silent heart-attack, even though she is 90 this year, she is a 'young' 89 and still very independant and mobile and rarely has any health issues so it came as quite a surprise. By all accounts we are lucky to still have her with us as she had absolutely no pain and when the ambulance arrived the couldn't get her pulse and we were told she had suffered a heart-attack caused by 2 large blood clots and the narrowing of an artery. I'm so grateful she was with someone, who acted quickly and called 999 so within the hour she was at a top london hospital with a cardiac catherisation, a stent and the removal of both clots...
On top of this Anne has been suffering with terrible pain and to the point where she can't move or talk and even after taking oramorph there was no improvement. I can see the latest tumours are effecting her terribly and we have all got to accept that this is a sign of the end coming. Family have been called to come from abroad as soon as possible to say their goodbyes and her sister has come over to care for her. My husband has gone to stay with her tonight, something which I think he is going to need to do more than the 2 nights a week he has done for the last couple of months.
I think it is so very sad and although I thought we had accepted the inevitable, it seems more real today than it ever has....

Catherine
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:31 pm

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby Catherine » Tue Jan 15, 2013 10:44 pm

Oh Sam, you seem to be having such a hard time of it. I don't know why life events and sadness all seems to come at once at times. It seems so unfair you have so much on your plate. Life just seems so cruel at times. I'm glad your nan is being well looked after though.
Poor Anne, it's wrong that in this day and age people should have to suffer so much. It must be heartbreaking to watch and not be able to do anything to help. I don't really know what to say other than I've been and will continue to think of you. Sending love and hugs Catherine xxx

charney
Posts: 74
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:29 pm

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby charney » Wed Jan 16, 2013 8:57 am

Sam I am so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time at the moment and sorry to hear Anne is so
Poorly. Sending hugs and love your way, keep strong
Cheryl xxxx

laura
Posts: 385
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:53 pm

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby laura » Wed Jan 16, 2013 12:30 pm

hello sammy, oh, it never rains but it pours, such a struggle isn't it?
very pleased your nan received such prompt and lifesaving treatment.
with anne , so sorry that things appear to be deteriorating, i hope the family get to see her, but most of all that she suffers NO pain, am sure you will be on her case for this.
my thoughts and love to you sammy, look after you as much as you are able, love lauraxx

DRAD3
Posts: 435
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:22 am

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby DRAD3 » Wed Jan 16, 2013 8:00 pm

Hi Sam - so sorry to hear what a terrible time you have had. Life certainly does have a nasty habit of kicking us when we are already down - so unfair. Am glad that your nan is on the mend now but so sorry that Anne is still suffering with so much pain - is there any way this can be rectified - it does not seem right at all? What have the nurses/doctor said about this?
Deb
x

Sammy-Lou
Posts: 56
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2012 3:02 pm

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby Sammy-Lou » Mon Jan 21, 2013 10:52 pm

I just wanted to update cos I have found it hard to lately and I know that now it's just going to get harder and everyone has been such a support to me that if I stop now, I may not be back for a while..
Sadly Anne has deteriorated quickly now and over the last few days things have taken a turn for the worst. Unable to make it to the day unit at the hospice on Friday, the consultant came out to see Anne and confirmed what we probably knew already, that we are now entering the last couple of weeks. No matter how much you prepare, it is still an awful shock to the system, I feel a little numb and as I say we probably knew as we've seen for ourselves but nothing can prepare you for how final it all feels.
My husband holds it all together and seems so strong but now I see he's like a lost boy who doesn't really know what to do with himself.. he's been here before, losing his Dad to lung cancer at only 15 but still I'm finding the easiest thing to do is to talk to him even if he doesn't talk back.. I've told him that now he needs to go every night after work or to take some time off, go and talk to his mum, sit with her, stay with her and be there as much as he possibly can. I will be fine taking care of our daughter, we will still be here in a months time and it's not important that he's home with us right now and when the time comes my parents will travel up (they are an hour away) to take our daughter to theirs for a few days so I can be with him.
The MST has now been put up to 80 morning and night and it's still not enough so looks like it's going to be increased again, everything has been delivered in intravenous form ready for a syringe driver and I know that it won't be long before consciousness is limited. I don't suppose the pain is helping but Anne is not sleeping at night now, she must be scared and I can't imagine what is going through her head but last night she cried a lot during the night. Another 2 of her sisters from abroad arrive in the morning, they are actually on their flights now and should arrive before 8am, I'm glad they are coming but it makes it even more real and more final.
I hope we are able to take our daughter again on Saturday but as she is only 2 I'm not sure at what point we stop as she has an amazing memory for her age (she recalls real detail of things which happened back in Oct last year) and she is so perceptive, this weekend she kept going over to check on her Nanna every time she came back into the room, she wanted to be next to her lots and I could tell she knew something significant was happening. My heart is breaking for her and for my daughter for the times they will miss out on, life can be so cruel...
Sorry if I don't spend much time posting on others threads right now.. I'm not even sure I'm making much sense on my own! I will, as always, be thinking of you all..
Sorry for rambling on
Sam xx

charney
Posts: 74
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:29 pm

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby charney » Tue Jan 22, 2013 7:42 am

Oh Sam my heart goes out to you, life is just so unfair.
Keep strong
Sending my love and support
Cheryl x

DRAD3
Posts: 435
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:22 am

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby DRAD3 » Tue Jan 22, 2013 9:25 am

Hi Sam
So, so sorry - you know you are in our thoughts and we send our love to you, Anne, your hubby and daughter and all the family. You are doing wonderfully, so thoughtful, thinking about how everyone else is feeling and what you can do to make it easier for them - so selfless and caring - I am sure your family are so proud of you and so glad that you are in their corner. I do hope that Anne is well cared for and pain free and that she finds some peace in her final days - I too cannot imagine what it must be like to be in her shoes. I still think about that now, with my husband - their bravery is inspiring. Take your time and never feel any pressure to be on the forum - we are all here for eachother whenever it is needed and we will be here for you.
Take care, Sam.
lots of love
Deb

susikus
Posts: 188
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 11:01 am

Re: Newbie, advice and support please?

Postby susikus » Tue Jan 22, 2013 9:55 am

Hugs, Sam, this is so hard isn't it? Just let go and live day by day, doing the best you can each moment. Your daughter will take all this in her stride, as young children do, and will very likely not remember a thing in time to come. My girls' Nanny died when they were 6 and 7 and they were very involved and do not remember a thing now. My older daughter, six months later at nearly 8, discovered her grandad's body - he was sitting in a chair and had been reading the paper and must have had a heart attack - and she hardly remembers that either. My love goes to you and all the family and especially to Anne as she travels her last days.
Sue
xxx