Today I lost my wonderful husband, Brian. I was with him at the end and it was peaceful, pain free but still a huge shock.
Feeling very numb and not sure what to do with myself right now, so thought I would do this.
Ellie
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Please see the messages in our "Rules" section
The posts on this discussion board are made by members of the General Public and are not intended to constitute medical advice
Re: Brian
Ellie,you were on this board when I found out about my Dad,and all through it,unbeknown to you I have read your posts and to hear how Brian was doing, was so uplifting,you have been a source of much encouragement,hope and a friend to many,and you are in all our thoughts ,I do hope this place will be a place for you to still come love to you xx
Re: Brian
Dear Ellie - I am so so sad for your loss. We have never met but you were one of the first to reach out and offer help and words of comfort to me when I first came onto this forum and you have been a much needed friend and much in my thoughts this past week. You have always been there for others, despite the fact that you have been struggling with your own battles. Brian's fight against this terrible disease has been inspirational and given me and my husband much needed strength. I know it may be only a small comfort, but you and Brian have made a positive difference to me (and I am sure others) - thank you. Love to you and your family and to Brian.
Deb
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Deb
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Re: Brian
Hi everyone
Want to say thanks to everyone who sent me such caring and thoughtful messages.
The funeral is on Friday and I am keeping sane by working my way through all the necessary paperwork, arrangements etc. My daughter and her husband are being a tower of strength and it is heart-warming to hear how much Brian meant to everyone.
I am taking comfort in knowing that Brian didn't suffer at the end. His last week, although spent in the hospice, was peaceful, pain free and full of fun and love. He saw a lot of friends who came to visit and was thoroughly pampered by all the staff. A day didn't pass without one of the nurses giving him a kiss or a hug and he was surrounded by such caring people. A good friend came to stay last Monday and was such a support to me and especially my daughter while I spent my nights in Brian's room. We even managed to bring him home for the afternoon on the Wednesday and he was so happy to be back there, watching me and my daughter bake cakes for the hospice day care patients. We had nothing but fun and laughs that day. Back in the hospice on the Thursday night, we played cards in the family room with Brian in his wheelchair and he beat us all! He then had a very restless night, not sleeping despite the staff's attempts to help, and I think it was fate that we spent the whole night awake together, me laid on the bed with him, talking and listening to our favourite songs on my music player. The next morning he was very sleepy but still trying to get up and I expected him to shake off the drugs and be alert again by lunchtime, but he drifted away peacefully. Even though we'd been told he might only have days left, I'd convinced myself that the doctors had got it all wrong and he would be some again soon, so it was a huge shock to lose him.
I don't know how I will cope on Friday but Brian's instructions were for us to celebrate his life, wear bright clothes and have a party afterwards. I fell in love with him for his sense of humour and I will have so many happy memories of fun, happy times together. I'm going to have a huge hole in my life from now on but I know his love will stay with me forever.
To those who have lost their loved ones, I now share in your heartache. To everyone who is still fighting for theirs - keep strong and positive.
Love to you all.
Ellie
xx
Want to say thanks to everyone who sent me such caring and thoughtful messages.
The funeral is on Friday and I am keeping sane by working my way through all the necessary paperwork, arrangements etc. My daughter and her husband are being a tower of strength and it is heart-warming to hear how much Brian meant to everyone.
I am taking comfort in knowing that Brian didn't suffer at the end. His last week, although spent in the hospice, was peaceful, pain free and full of fun and love. He saw a lot of friends who came to visit and was thoroughly pampered by all the staff. A day didn't pass without one of the nurses giving him a kiss or a hug and he was surrounded by such caring people. A good friend came to stay last Monday and was such a support to me and especially my daughter while I spent my nights in Brian's room. We even managed to bring him home for the afternoon on the Wednesday and he was so happy to be back there, watching me and my daughter bake cakes for the hospice day care patients. We had nothing but fun and laughs that day. Back in the hospice on the Thursday night, we played cards in the family room with Brian in his wheelchair and he beat us all! He then had a very restless night, not sleeping despite the staff's attempts to help, and I think it was fate that we spent the whole night awake together, me laid on the bed with him, talking and listening to our favourite songs on my music player. The next morning he was very sleepy but still trying to get up and I expected him to shake off the drugs and be alert again by lunchtime, but he drifted away peacefully. Even though we'd been told he might only have days left, I'd convinced myself that the doctors had got it all wrong and he would be some again soon, so it was a huge shock to lose him.
I don't know how I will cope on Friday but Brian's instructions were for us to celebrate his life, wear bright clothes and have a party afterwards. I fell in love with him for his sense of humour and I will have so many happy memories of fun, happy times together. I'm going to have a huge hole in my life from now on but I know his love will stay with me forever.
To those who have lost their loved ones, I now share in your heartache. To everyone who is still fighting for theirs - keep strong and positive.
Love to you all.
Ellie
xx
Re: Brian
Dear Ellie,
I'm so glad the last week was full of fun and that Brian went so peacefully
You both fought for so long for me you were one of my tower of strength when my dad passed away so hopefully
you will find your tower in us supporting you .
take care Ellie and thinking of you all in this very sad time
All my love
Pauline x x
I'm so glad the last week was full of fun and that Brian went so peacefully
You both fought for so long for me you were one of my tower of strength when my dad passed away so hopefully
you will find your tower in us supporting you .
take care Ellie and thinking of you all in this very sad time
All my love
Pauline x x
Re: Brian
Ellie
I heard your sad news, Lynne told me. I am so sorry to hear of Brian's passing and really don't know what to say.
I didn't want Brian to join the same club as Blue and neither did I want you to enjoy the same club as me, it's not nice, it's blooming hard.
One thing I will say to you that my counsellor says to me is 'be kind to yourself'....auto-pilot is awful but our only way of dealing with the enormity of the pain we are feeling, a pain that cannot be seen or taken away.
Take care Ellie and if ever you want to get in touch, please do, my email address has already been posted on here before, but it is {removed -moderator}
Much love
Clair
I heard your sad news, Lynne told me. I am so sorry to hear of Brian's passing and really don't know what to say.
I didn't want Brian to join the same club as Blue and neither did I want you to enjoy the same club as me, it's not nice, it's blooming hard.
One thing I will say to you that my counsellor says to me is 'be kind to yourself'....auto-pilot is awful but our only way of dealing with the enormity of the pain we are feeling, a pain that cannot be seen or taken away.
Take care Ellie and if ever you want to get in touch, please do, my email address has already been posted on here before, but it is {removed -moderator}
Much love
Clair
Re: Brian
Dear Ellie, I am so very sorry to hear the sad news about Brian. I'm glad for you though, that his last week was so happy and peaceful and I'm sure that will give you comfort in the weeks ahead. Like everyone else I will be thinking of you on friday. Much love Marie x