Brian

Today I lost my wonderful husband, Brian. I was with him at the end and it was peaceful, pain free but still a huge shock.

Feeling very numb and not sure what to do with myself right now, so thought I would do this.

Ellie

x

Dear Ellie,

So very sorry to here the sad sad news.

My thoughts and love are with you.

God bless you.

love

Millyjoxxx

Dear Ellie - I'm so very sorry to hear the news about Brian. You have both been such an inspiration to so many of us here. Thinking of you and very much hoping you have friends and family close by. Big hugs, Jenna

So sorry to hear the news about your husband.

Sincere condolences at this sad time.

Anne.

Oh Ellie. There are just no words good enough! Sending love and hugs your way and you know where I am if you need to talk.

Nicki xx

Dearest Ellie ,

I am so so sorry for your loss

sending you all the love in the world

Pauline x x x x x

Ellie,you were on this board when I found out about my Dad,and all through it,unbeknown to you I have read your posts and to hear how Brian was doing, was so uplifting,you have been a source of much encouragement,hope and a friend to many,and you are in all our thoughts ,I do hope this place will be a place for you to still come love to you xx

Dear Ellie

I am so sorry to hear your sad news about Brian. My thoughts are with you at this very difficult time.

Lots of love

Margaret

Dearest Ellie

No words can ease your pain, I'm sorry for your loss, my love and prayers are with you.

Brian is pain free, and watching over you

Xxxxxx

Dear Ellie - I am so so sad for your loss. We have never met but you were one of the first to reach out and offer help and words of comfort to me when I first came onto this forum and you have been a much needed friend and much in my thoughts this past week. You have always been there for others, despite the fact that you have been struggling with your own battles. Brian's fight against this terrible disease has been inspirational and given me and my husband much needed strength. I know it may be only a small comfort, but you and Brian have made a positive difference to me (and I am sure others) - thank you. Love to you and your family and to Brian.

Deb

x

Hi everyone

Want to say thanks to everyone who sent me such caring and thoughtful messages.

The funeral is on Friday and I am keeping sane by working my way through all the necessary paperwork, arrangements etc. My daughter and her husband are being a tower of strength and it is heart-warming to hear how much Brian meant to everyone.

I am taking comfort in knowing that Brian didn't suffer at the end. His last week, although spent in the hospice, was peaceful, pain free and full of fun and love. He saw a lot of friends who came to visit and was thoroughly pampered by all the staff. A day didn't pass without one of the nurses giving him a kiss or a hug and he was surrounded by such caring people. A good friend came to stay last Monday and was such a support to me and especially my daughter while I spent my nights in Brian's room. We even managed to bring him home for the afternoon on the Wednesday and he was so happy to be back there, watching me and my daughter bake cakes for the hospice day care patients. We had nothing but fun and laughs that day. Back in the hospice on the Thursday night, we played cards in the family room with Brian in his wheelchair and he beat us all! He then had a very restless night, not sleeping despite the staff's attempts to help, and I think it was fate that we spent the whole night awake together, me laid on the bed with him, talking and listening to our favourite songs on my music player. The next morning he was very sleepy but still trying to get up and I expected him to shake off the drugs and be alert again by lunchtime, but he drifted away peacefully. Even though we'd been told he might only have days left, I'd convinced myself that the doctors had got it all wrong and he would be some again soon, so it was a huge shock to lose him.

I don't know how I will cope on Friday but Brian's instructions were for us to celebrate his life, wear bright clothes and have a party afterwards. I fell in love with him for his sense of humour and I will have so many happy memories of fun, happy times together. I'm going to have a huge hole in my life from now on but I know his love will stay with me forever.

To those who have lost their loved ones, I now share in your heartache. To everyone who is still fighting for theirs - keep strong and positive.

Love to you all.

Ellie

xx

Dear Ellie,

I'm so glad the last week was full of fun and that Brian went so peacefully

You both fought for so long for me you were one of my tower of strength when my dad passed away so hopefully

you will find your tower in us supporting you .

take care Ellie and thinking of you all in this very sad time

All my love

Pauline x x

Ellie

I heard your sad news, Lynne told me. I am so sorry to hear of Brian's passing and really don't know what to say.

I didn't want Brian to join the same club as Blue and neither did I want you to enjoy the same club as me, it's not nice, it's blooming hard.

One thing I will say to you that my counsellor says to me is 'be kind to yourself'....auto-pilot is awful but our only way of dealing with the enormity of the pain we are feeling, a pain that cannot be seen or taken away.

Take care Ellie and if ever you want to get in touch, please do, my email address has already been posted on here before, but it is {removed -moderator}

Much love

Clair

Dear Ellie, I am so very sorry to hear the sad news about Brian. I'm glad for you though, that his last week was so happy and peaceful and I'm sure that will give you comfort in the weeks ahead. Like everyone else I will be thinking of you on friday. Much love Marie x

Ellie

I am thinking of you and Brian today

Much hugs

Clair

xx

Thank you all for your kind messages. It is a comfort to know that others are supporting you through your darkest time.

I seem to be coping by blanking out a lot of things and keeping busy but there is a huge hole in my life now. Brian was my husband, soul-mate, best friend and my rock. Always there for me. It feels like it's getting harder each day at the moment.

Keep fighting, all of you. Keep strong and positive.

Love

Ellie

xx

Ellie

I know exactly how you feel, I felt the same, still do. Here for you anytime, you take care xxxxx

Sorry to hear about Brian,

Be brave,thinking of you.

Pamxxx

Was thinking of you today Ellie - just wanted to say that.

Love

Nicki x

Hello Ellie,

I have logged on to this forum this weekend for the first time in ages. I read your post just now in utter shock, I am so sorry, I really am. You poor thing, what can I say, I'm so glad your last days and weeks together were so lovely and that you had the chance to say all you wanted to say.

God bless, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love Lesley Ann xxx

Hi Lesley Ann

Thanks for your kind message. It was 5 weeks ago today. Seems so much longer....missing Brian so very much. My daughter and son-in-law helped me scatter his ashes off the Dorset coast last weekend. He loved that coastline and I like to think a tiny part of him is going to travel the seas and have some adventures.

Glad to read that your dad is doing well. I am following everyone's stories, just don't feel like posting too much these days.

Still thinking of you all and wishing you all strength and courage.

Love

Ellie

xx

Dear Ellie

I've been thinking about you and Brian lately and so was very sorry to hear your sad news when I came back to this site.

You'll take great comfort in knowing that you were able to get Brian home for a while for a bit of normality and that Brian left peacefully and without pain.

It was 2 years yesterday for me - it really doesn't feel that long. I'd like you to know that you were my tower of strength throughout - you are a very special person xxx Gill xxx

Hi Gill!

It was lovely to hear from you, even though it's not at the best of times - for either of us. I can't believe it was 2 years ago that you lost your dear dad! How that time has just flown, at least for me. It must have brought back painful memories for you. I hope the pain has softened over those years, although I know it will never go away.

Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad I was of some help or support to you during your difficult times. I hope you, your family and your mum are getting on ok.

Lots of love and a hug

Ellie

xx