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Ellie
Posts: 302
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:03 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby Ellie » Fri Apr 08, 2011 9:37 pm

Message for Nicki

How are you this weekend, Nicki? I hope work has quietened down a bit for you so that you are less stressed with everything. Have you managed to catch up on your sleep at all? Being tired just drags you down and everything seems so much harder to cope with.

How is Ted doing? Is he still getting the side effects from his chemo? How is his pain? I hope he's improved, which will in turn make you feel a little less upset.

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and truly hoping that you are feeling a little brighter than in your last post. We all have those bad days, when it almost gets too much to deal with, especially when, like me, you've been caring for someone for a long period of time. I know you will be fighting to bounce back and hope you get chance to relax a little this weekend.

Take care of yourself and please let me know how you are.

Love
Ellie
xx

Nardobd
Posts: 479
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby Nardobd » Sat Apr 09, 2011 6:54 am

Hi all. I'm just about to get on with some work so I'm sorry this has to be short.

LA I'm pleased you had a good break and that your Dad seems to be doing well. I'm strange in that reading doesn't make me tired - perhaps because as a lawyer I'm used to having to pay attention to wording, but thanks for the thought.

Happy belated birthday Ellie, and I'm so pleased that you enjoyed your outing with Brian.

Thanks all for your thoughts and comments. I'm sure that when it's no longer so busy at work and I can get some decent sleep I'll be fine. It's difficult to be positive when you're tired.

A longer message anon but in the meantime my love to everyone.

Kind regards
Nicki xx

lynbo
Posts: 269
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby lynbo » Sun Apr 10, 2011 1:24 am

Hi Nicki, Ellie, LA

my tattoo has healed, and today I decided to enjoy the sun in the garden, I found my lounger in the shed, with a big White feather on it, I believe a sign from Andy.
Happy Birthday Ellie
Nicki, hope you are getting some sleep?
LA still can't find you on networking site?

Anyway, was just catching up on here before bed, it's now 2am?!
Love to everyone
Xxxxxx

Nardobd
Posts: 479
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby Nardobd » Sat Apr 16, 2011 7:42 am

Hi Everyone

work is starting to settle down which is good news - still very busy but less firefighting. Now that I have time to sleep, I just have to get out of the routine of waking up early!

Ted is still getting stomach pain but it is a little better, or at least he says so. Being as stubborn as he is, I sometimes wonder. His general fitness level is worrying though and he needs frequent rests.

As Ellie has said before, it is the vagueness and "not knowing" that is the worst. I seem to be going round in a permanent state of anger and frustration - it's not a feeling I'm used to and I don't like it.

Ellie, how are you and Brian doing?

LA how is Dad?

Lynne, I know you will treasure that feather - items which are thought to be from 'spirit' are called "apports".

Marie, how are you doing? Lots of love to you.

thoughts of strength and comfort going out to all of the people on this forum.

Nicki xx

ladywood
Posts: 39
Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2010 11:31 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby ladywood » Wed Apr 20, 2011 3:33 pm

Hi Nicki, nice of you to ask about me. I am ok, still very sad of course and upset when I think of the pain Linda must have suffered before she was diagnosed, she must have been so scared and yet none of the medics took proper notice until it was too late. I'm finding it hard also to help prepare her house for selling, it was a little safe haven for me many a time and she worked so hard to get it nice. I wish I could win the lottery and buy it! Life goes on though, I went back to work a couple of weeks ago which I was dreading but actualy it was fine and I think it probably did me good. , I'm also enjoying this lovely weather and appreciate the fact that I only have to work part time. I went out last night and shared some wine with a good friend and that was nice, and also enjoying spending time with my husband going for walks ect.

I'm glad work has calmed down a bit for you, I dont know how you cope with such a stressful job and looking after Ted as well. I'm glad his pain has improved and I know if he is feeling a bit better you will also. He must be such a strong character Nicki! Hope your sleep has improved too, everything seems so much worse when you are very tired.

Hope you manage to have a rest over this weekend and hope Ted continues to feel ok. Will be thinking of you. Have a very happy and peaceful Easter. With love and hugs Marie

Nardobd
Posts: 479
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby Nardobd » Sun Apr 24, 2011 9:18 am

Hi Marie

I'm glad that going back to work was positive for you....I think it's one of those situations where the dread is worse than the reality.

Ted has good and bad days still - he was in a lot of pain last night but that was the first time for a few days. He is so very strong and we pull each other through the bad times. Sleeping is still an issue for both of us but we're getting there.

Have a lovely easter.

Nicki x

millyjo
Posts: 74
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 4:29 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby millyjo » Sat May 07, 2011 11:19 am

ve

millyjo
Posts: 74
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 4:29 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby millyjo » Sat May 07, 2011 11:24 am

Hello everyone,
I have been checking in on posts on a regular basis, just to see how you are all doing. But obviously as posts are so many it is difficult sometimes to follow through.
So can I ask how you all are, especially Nicki/Ted and Ellie/Brian.
You have both been coping with your own hardships but also supporting others in difficulty, and I'd admire you for doing so. My thoughts are with you and with everyone going through this.
It has been almost two years since I lost my mum, but I'm still in shock at the horror of this disease.
I send my love and hugs to you all
Millyjoxx

lynbo
Posts: 269
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby lynbo » Sun May 08, 2011 12:37 am

Hi nick, Ellie, LA, millyjo, Marie and all

It's half past midnight and I've just collapsed into bed.
Today - I walked 23 miles fir the K2B keswick
To barrow striving for survival walk.
I had, PCUK t shirt with my Andy's picture on, purple shades and purple hair!
There were 10 in our team, but myself and my friend Rachael completed in 6 hours 32 mins.
Emotional - yes, worthwhile - yes.
My legs don't feel like my own, but between us I think we have raised £ 2.000 plus?
All for PCUK.
so, just to say, while I was walking, I was thinking of us all, and our circumstances, and I did my very best for ALL of us on here, and our loved ones , past and present.

Goodnight
Lynne
Xxxxxxx

Ellie
Posts: 302
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:03 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby Ellie » Sun May 08, 2011 8:07 am

Hi Lynne

What a fantastic achievement! Once your exhaustion has passed you should feel so very proud of yourself for what you've done and the huge amount of money you have raised! I'm sure Andy would be so proud of you. Well done to you! x

A lot has been happening with Brian, but will post about that later.

Love to everyone

Ellie
xx

lynbo
Posts: 269
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby lynbo » Sun May 08, 2011 11:12 am

Hi Ellie

Update us on Brian when you can.
Thinking of you xxxx

millyjo
Posts: 74
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 4:29 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby millyjo » Sun May 08, 2011 12:24 pm

Way to go Lynne!! I'm a walker but 23 miles and in that area, you'll be feeling it today.
But well done. :P
Will look out for your post ellie, my thoughts are with you.
God bless.
love
Millyjo xx

Ellie
Posts: 302
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:03 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby Ellie » Sun May 08, 2011 10:30 pm

Hi all

Thanks, Millyjo and Lynne, for your messages of support. I'm afraid my news isn't good. Brian has been going downhill so quickly over the last few weeks. He's getting weaker, struggling to do anything without help. He's been sleeping a lot, losing interest in things and was very withdrawn. The hospice was going to admit him but it was decided that they couldn't do anything that couldn't be done at home. That's where he wants to be and we had a visit from their specialist nurse last week. Brian told her that he is going to stop fighting, as he just can't take any more. He's fought so long and so hard - we both have - but I know that he really has had enough. He seemed much better the next day, so maybe he needed to get his feelings out into the open. I asked our district nurse how long she thought he had left and she said it's weeks, not months. Even though it was what I suspected, it still hit me hard. After nearly 3 years, I am so scared, thinking that I will have to face the worst very soon.

All we can do now is make the best of every day we have left together. I feel so grateful that we've had such lovely weather so early, because we've been able to sit in the garden and watch the birds and see the flowers coming into bloom.

I feel very calm writing this, almost detached from it all, like it's not real, but I just don't know how I will cope with losing the man who has been my life for nearly 34 years......

Ellie
x

DRAD3
Posts: 435
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:22 am

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby DRAD3 » Mon May 09, 2011 9:55 am

Hi Ellie
I haven't been able to get on to the forum for a little while and am so shocked and saddened to hear that things have deteriorated for you and your husband. I read your story and think it will be mine some day and I totally understand the fear you feel. As you know already though, the unknown soon becomes the known and the fear transforms into strength to just deal with the here and now. I am thinking of you, even when I am not able to get on-line and am sending you lots of positive vibes and love and hope you can find the strength to get through this terrible time.
Deb
x

lynbo
Posts: 269
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: How are you Nicki, Ellie and LA

Postby lynbo » Mon May 09, 2011 11:31 pm

Dearest Ellie

I think you are really brave even just posting on here, I know how you feel, I've been there, all I can say is your taking each day as it comes, and that's all you can do.
Spending time in the garden, and just being there for each other, as, after 34 years together there is nothing left to say that hasnt been said, you both know how you feel, and that, is what you have to focus on.
Love..... I'm thinking of you, and were all here for each other, all in the same boat.
Stay strong Ellie,
Love to you both xxxxx