A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

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Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:22 pm

Re: my dad

Postby chinup » Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:08 pm

Dear Pauline

So sorry to hear that your dearly loved dad has passed away.

It will have meant everything to your dad that you were all there with him, don't underestimate what you have all done there - I think it's wonderful that you managed as you did, I know it has been very hard and very sudden for you and although you should have had medical support at the end it sounds like you all did everything that could be done for your dad on your own.

I'm sure that you will all support each other but please keep telling us how you are. My mum passed away about 6 weeks ago and although we are coming to terms quite well I still find it very helpful to come here and talk to people. I hope your mum will be ok. We have spent a lot of time with my dad since mum died, he comes to our house most nights for meals etc and sometimes he cooks for us. We are with him sorting everything out and it seems to help. He was exhausted from nearly a year of constant terrible worry and anxiety for my mum and although he misses her terribly he did feel relieved that the suffering was over.

Pauline you are in our thoughts, XX

Posts: 479
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: my dad

Postby Nardobd » Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:53 pm


I'm so sorry to hear that your Dad has passed. As Chinup says, it would have meant the world to him that you were all around him and it's obviously (and quite rightly) a huge comfort to you too.

Your wonderful Mum will need lots of support and I know that you'll all lean on each other but if you need a friendly shoulder don't forget that we're here. In any event, please do keep writing and let us know how you and the family are.

My thoughts and prayers are with you


Nicki xx


Re: my dad

Postby Lisa » Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:11 pm

Dear Pauline,

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad! I can't add much after Nicki and chinup but I wanted to let you know that we are thinking about you and your family!
I can imagine how angry you feel and I think its a real pity that your dad was in pain. The only small consolation is that the pain is over for him now and he doesn't have to suffer anymore.
I'm very glad you all managed to get there and were with your dad at the end, like the others said I’m sure that meant everything to him!
Its unbelievable how quickly and viciously this cancer takes people!
My mom will be starting her first lot of chemo next week all being well, I will write a full update later.

Please keep us upto date with how you are all doing.
Wishing you lots of strength!
Love Lisa x

Posts: 48
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 3:24 pm

Re: my dad

Postby pauline » Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:29 pm

thank you all so much for all your kind words over the last 3 1/2 months.

chinup,nicki and lisa and everyone who has read this my thoughts are with you all i pray that everyone who is going through this horrible cancer that you have the strength to cope with what life throws at you in the next weeks,months,years.

lisa i do hope that everything works out for your mum and chemo works for her we have to have good news soon

may god bless you all

lots of love

pauline XXXXX

Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2009 7:45 am

Re: my dad

Postby Robynrose » Sat Jun 06, 2009 6:49 am

Pauline, I am so sorry you have lost your Dad. He will be free from all pain now. What a blessing his family was with him and I am sure that would have been all he wanted at the time.
I send you gentle hugs and take care
Robyn x

Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:27 pm

Re: my dad

Postby Karen » Thu Feb 18, 2010 12:10 pm

Hi Pauline...
I am new to this site, came across it after my dad was diagnosed with unoperable pancreatic cancer just under 3 weeks ago and my story is similiar to yours, my dad is 62, and was fit and healthy, working full time and a devoted husband to my wonderful mum and an awesome dad to myself brother and sister. He has his first chemo session on tuesday, i am praying for a miracle, he is my best friend and i am not ready to let him leave us yet, i know i need to be realistic but this whole cancer word scares the crap out of me.
I was heartbroken to read your dad passed away, how is your mum? How did you get through it? I am sorry if i am asking to many questions but i simply am scared.

Lots of love


Posts: 48
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 3:24 pm

Re: my dad

Postby pauline » Mon Apr 12, 2010 8:02 am

Hi Karen,

I am so sory to hear about your dad and so sorry it has taken so long to reply to you..... how are things ? how is the chemo going ?

things are still very hard and it's not long now untill it's been a year since his passing which is going to be very very hard but i know as a

family we will do it. it has taken so long for this all to sink in and still feels like a bad dream i have become a completely different person

over the last year and it has made me relise what i want and need to do and that life is just too short.

the only thing I would say is spend as much time as possible as a family say the things you want to say ( thats the one thing i regret not

saying the things i wanted to )

i am praying for a miracle for you ...... as well please let me know how things are and i promise to look everyday

the best thing i done was to join this site the people are just angles they know what to say all the time lift you up when your down and

there to give the support you need and when needed without this site my mind would have been shot to pieces

i'm not very good at this but i do hope in some way it has helped you

lots of love to you mum dad and brother

thinking and prying for you all

Pauline XX

Posts: 479
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: my dad

Postby Nardobd » Mon Apr 12, 2010 6:15 pm

Hi Pauline and it's good to hear from you again. I'm glad that you're finding a way through the grief. All I can say is that it does become less raw eventually but it's great to see a positivity about you - just knowing that you'll get through the tremendously difficult anniversary period is so very positive.

I'm glad that the people on the site helped you and I know that you've supported others in turn. Don't forget we're always here for the bad (and good!) days and we'll always be pleased to hear from you.


Pauline's reply reminds me I've been very remiss - I'd intended to reply to your message but forgot! We'd love to hear how your dad is doing and we'd all be pleased to answer any questions you might have or give you whatever support we can. Sometimes just knowing you're not alone and that there's someone here who will understand if you want to vent is so important, so please post away.




Re: my dad

Postby CFF » Wed Apr 14, 2010 7:32 pm

Hi Pauline,

So sorry to hear about your dad. There's no happy end to pc and it's so unfair that some of us have such limited time with our loved ones. Glad you were all able to be with your dad when he passed away.

Really hope you have all the support you need to grieve and recover.

Thoughts are with you.