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Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Sat Nov 11, 2017 4:56 pm

Peter was whizzed into hospital yesterday. I'll post more fully later, but he's quite poorly and has several blood clots in his lungs which explains a lot of what's happened this week.

More later
Mo

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Quickasyoucan » Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:20 pm

Sending you al my thoughts and good wishes xx

Didge
Posts: 825
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Didge » Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:29 pm

Mo I am so sorry to hear that. Sending you lots of love 💕

Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Sat Nov 11, 2017 10:14 pm

You really are the nicest people. Thanks. And to the ones who have e-mailed me direct.

OK. I suppose this really started with the nightmare of Peter getting his paperwork ready for his AGM last Sunday. I think I have said what a dog's breakfast he made of it all, and how it took about three hours to sort out five bits of paper and put them in order. But anyway, he accomplished his AGM in truly pompous style and that was that.

He went to bed almost as soon as he came home after the meeting on Monday, because he was 'tired'. Any time I spoke to him it was as though I had wakened him from a very deep sleep, and he was drowsy and slightly incoherent, but then so am I if you wake me up from a nice zizz. And because of the post-radiotherapy fatigue, and the broken nights, it didn't really occur to me to question the excessive sleep - until Thursday, when he began to make even less sense than usual. At 10 o'clock that night he asked me for a torch, because he had 'dropped something'. But he didn't know what he had dropped, except that it was something he 'always had in his hand'. I thought he must mean the remote control for his TV because he quite often goes off to sleep still holding it, but the remote was in its rightful place and the pair of us searched the room, even under the furniture, for the mythical 'something' that had been dropped. Even Boris helped, but to no avail.

On Friday morning he went downstairs to fetch something, and had to rest on the way back up because he was so breathless: it was as though there wasn't enough oxygen going round to energise him, so I rang the doctor. She came round in about half an hour, and checked him over; his sats were rubbish, so the decision was made and she asked me to get a bag packed and she would phone and let me know which ward he should report to. Packing a bag was a nightmare. Everything I put in the bag he took out again, but we got there eventually, minus some vital items like his phone charger and the adaptor for his electric razor. He was admitted to the triage department, they checked everything and shoved him on oxygen, and took some blood. Initially they thought he had an infection, and set up a drip with a one-size-fits-all antibiotic, and once his bed was ready he was trundled off to take up residence in a 6-bed ward.

A nice doctor took a history, and decided to send him for a chest X-ray, and then thought better of it and ordered the X-ray Department to come to him. So a young lad of about 15 wheeled this almighty great machine to Peter's bed, he smiled for the camera, and seconds later everybody was examining the pictures on the screen.

At 3am this morning a nurse discovered Peter phoning me because I was 'late for visiting'. He thought it was 3pm.

Today he has been moved up a floor (the seventh, fabulous views) and has had a CT scan. A nice young doctor phoned me while I was actually walking into the hospital and said she would have a chat once I was in the ward. When I reached him, Peter was angry and upset. The doctor had already tried to speak to him, but in one of his lucid moments he hadn't 'liked the way this conversation was heading' so she had abandoned the bedside chat and was going to speak to me instead. She led me off to the dayroom, and I didn't much like the way our conversation went either, because it started with the results of the CAT scan (blood clots on his lungs) and continued in the direction of DNR and much talk of 'discussing it with the team'. Thank God Dr Feelgood is on the team.

Meantime, two of the nurses are playing 'on with the oxygen' and 'off with the oxygen'. And a staff nurse brought round his creons at evening visiting. Two hours after his meal. I asked why he hadn't received them WITH his meal, and she told me they had only just come up from the pharmacy. I had packed his creons along with his insulin when he was admitted, but of course
Nurse Knows Best and in any case his creons had been lost in the move to the new ward.

At afternoon visiting he decided to have a shower but came back to his bed just wearing a towel and minus his T-shirt, pants and dressing gown. I retrieved them, soaking wet, from the floor of the shower. No harm done, but it could have been Peter I was retrieving, soaking wet, from the floor of the shower. At evening visiting he had a shave, and now feels more human, and we went for a walk around the ward so that he could orientate himself a bit. We found the dayroom with a TV (It costs £20 a day to have a bedside TV/phone) and now he knows where he is. They moved him during the night and he was upset to wake and find himself in a strange place this morning.

His buddy turned up to evening visiting, so I came home after an hour to tend to my Other Patient. The toothless one is doing just fine and living like a lord on minced chicken and shredded up sliced beef. Good old Lidl !

My swimming/gym friends have nominated one of their number to get my news and then they share it in the jacuzzi.

Last night, despite Peter being in hospital - or perhaps because he was in hospital - I slept all night, from midnight until 6, without waking up once.

So that's where we are right now. I'm sorry this is so long and drawn out. I'm buoyed up by your support and think that perhaps a forum family is almost better than a real family - if the argument I witnessed in the lift at the hospital today is anything to go by. Three sisters, none of whom wanted Mum (80, and quite poorly) to come and live with them now that she is ready for discharge . . . . . .

Night folks, now that I've sent most of you to sleep I'm off to chat to my cat.
Much love
Mo

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Veema » Sat Nov 11, 2017 11:13 pm

Dearest Mo...(every time I type Mo the damn autocorrect changes it to No)...sorry to hear the latest instalment...I hope this is a blip for Peter and that they can treat the clots without too much bother.

Loads of love

Vx

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Veema » Sat Nov 11, 2017 11:17 pm

P.S.

I do think it's not the time for a DNAR, but I also think you need to steel yourself for that conversation to come...it was the thing I found the hardest to deal with, because it all seemed so real and so final once that had been done, but it's the kindest thing.

Vx

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Quickasyoucan » Sun Nov 12, 2017 2:57 am

Mo I'm glad you managed a good nights sleep. I always found wine helped me when I'd spent the day with dad at the hospice but you managed it without 'medicinal' assistance. I had multiple pulmonary embolisms 20 years ago thanks to a long haul flight - it does make you feel crap. I hope once peter is suitably anticoagulated he feels better. We did the DNR with dad quite early on as it just gets things out of the way. It might be one of those have once don't talk about it again things you and peter could do at some stage. To be honest I think we should all at least have what they call an advanced care directive here, sick or not, as we never know if family will be put in a position of guessing what we would want were we suddenly poorly. Sending you peter and b sunny and positive Australian vibes. X

Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Sun Nov 12, 2017 5:51 am

Connections, Quickly.

When I got back from the hospital last night I called into my next door neighbours to let them know what had happened. Jackie was very concerned and offered all her support but was a bit red-eyed herself. It seems that her sister (52) in Australia had had a heart attack that morning.

They are the sort of neighbours who you could contact at 3 in the morning in an emergency and I'm so sorry for Jackie who is very close to her sister. You will know exactly how it feels Quickly to have a loved one very sick thousands of miles away.

Thanks for your support,
Much love, Mo

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Quickasyoucan » Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:09 am

That's terrible for your neighbour Mo. And 52 is so young. I understand how she feels exactly. If it helps please tell her Australia has a top notch health system and she will be getting the best care possible. Keep us posted on Peter and also how you are going as well as lord B of course!

Sandiemac
Posts: 69
Joined: Tue May 10, 2016 11:27 am

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Sandiemac » Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:23 am

Hi Mo

So sorry to hear the latest developments but, as your night's sleep will attest, he is in the best place and you need the peace of mind of knowing that. As far as a DNR is concerned, we had "the talk" about this and it only refers to a heart attack. The specialist said they can break ribs resuscitating, you end up in intensive care and basically it kills you anyway. So worth having. The system means that even ambulance men are aware of it.

We are all here when you need us.
Sandie xx

Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:51 am

Just had a text from Peter, which is great because yesterday he didn't know how his phone worked. I phoned him back, he sounded quite sensible and has had breakfast - bran flakes and toast & marmalade. Yesterday he told me he'd had haddock and a jacket potato for breakfast.

Obviously the 'with oxygen' nurse is on duty because he was fiddling about with the oxygen prongs. No doubt the 'without oxygen' nurse will come from her tea break and briskly remove it.

I rang Peter's son on Friday to give him the news, and again last to update him. He made no comment about his dad, but did enquire about Boris's teeth.

I am not thinking about the DNR thing just now; I will put my brain into gear when required to by The Team. At present Boo and I are in bed and I am designing something in my head. Sort of frosty and bluish but not glittery. I think it may be a quilt or a wall hanging. I design some wonderful things in my head but they seldom make it to the real world. It's my form of relaxation. Sometimes I get so relaxed that I hop onto Amazon and start buying the constituent parts of the vision but I won't do that today . . No space in the sewing cupboard, its full of bags and stuff.

Must stop.
Love and thanks
Mo

Marmalade
Posts: 59
Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Marmalade » Mon Nov 13, 2017 4:07 pm

Great to hear some better news Mo!

It's hard to understand the attitude of some family and friends but there are people who just can't cope with reality so they blank it out, or drink or take drugs or whatever helps them pretend it is not happening. Some it is just illness they can't deal with, I had a brother like this, he could be near either parent when they were at the end, just couldn't face it.

Don't worry about the ATP (not just DNR) it will be handled by his consultant or GP. I know Peter is not ready for it to kick in yet but it is a good idea to have in the background so that everyone knows how the patient wants to be treated when the time comes and where. I know you understand but other who watch may not realise that it is best tackled early and then everyone can get on with making the most of life instead of worrying about what to do when the time comes. It also covers far more procedures and treatments than resuscitation!

I hope Peter continues on his upward climb on the roller coaster and that Boris continues to enjoy his fine dining diet!

Take advantage of a bit of time when you are not looking after Peter to get in a swim and some quality rest, you must be exhausted with the worry

M xxxx

Didge
Posts: 825
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Didge » Mon Nov 13, 2017 5:56 pm

Mo it does sound as if Peter has perked up a bit and if he’s eating quite well that’s a good sign. If neither of you want to have the DNR conversation then don’t. You have to be ready for that conversation and some people never are. I remember getting a phone call from Rob when I was on my way to my parents 71st wedding anniversary to say he’d been admitted to hospital and was dying. I got there to find he’d had the conversation before I arrived and had DNR on his notes. I think I was more upset than he was. Of course once a palliative care consultant had reassured him he wasn’t about to die he got discharged and was shortly after in a Chinese restaurant. Oh and my parents have celebrated another 2 wedding anniversaries. So you never can tell what’s next on this roller coaster and therefore just do what feels right for you. Incidentally I’m a firm believer in oxygen when people are near the end but had to argue for it both times. It made an enormous difference. Xx

Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Mon Nov 13, 2017 7:54 pm

Strange. I posted about an hour ago, but it's vanished. Or perhaps I'm the confused one now and it's on somebody else's thread . . .

What a difference a day makes. Today at visiting My Patient was sitting up and taking notice and talking football/golf/tennis and other sorts of balls to the guy in the next bed. Evidently a Consultant (with a capital C) stopped by his bed, surrounded by acolytes, and announced that for an allegedly confused person, Peter was the least confused person he'd seen for quite a long time. I imagine it's the oxygen that's made the difference, so the Hercule Poirot in me feels that it's probably the Oxygen Nurse on duty, as opposed to the No Oxygen Nurse. I suppose the blood thinning stuff has made a difference too, so it's worth having a midriff like a dartboard if it means you are compos mentis.

I spoke to his MacMillan nurse this morning to bring him up to speed, because he's been on study leave for a day or two. We spoke briefly about the DNR thing and agreed that it was better dealt with before the R bit of it was on the cards.

Peter seemed to think that he would be thrown out fairly soon, on his ear if the Charge Nurse has her way - don't ask - so the roller coaster is grinding away as per usual on Planet PC.

My Other Patient is due to visit the Vet tomorrow morning at 8.45 for a post-surgery check on his dentition. Boo will no doubt turn on the drama queen stuff as soon as I put him in his carrier, but I know different because he has cost me a fortune in beef and chicken which I have painstakingly finely minced and fed to him about 30 times a day. He is playing his usual games, he has personally test-driven a dozen small white felt mice which I have made to put into the collection box for the local animal shelter's Christmas Appeal, and has shredded a new patch in our stair carpet. Daddy will be pleased when he comes home from hospital, won't he ?

The Important Consultant asked Peter this morning if "your wife ever visits you", and indicated that if I did indeed make a guest appearance on the ward then he would like to speak to me. Strange thing to ask. So I'll wait to see what he's got to say. Does one genuflect to an Important Consultant ?

I feel a bit shattered after all that's happened. Boo and I are going to have a boiled egg to our tea, as Nanny used to say, (Boo gets bits of the yolk and I eat the rest), and then we'll have a little sit down. There's snow on the hills and it's perishing cold and Peter's buddy is going up for evening visiting, bless him.

Thanks for the huge support from our family. Thank God you are all there.
Love, Mo

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Quickasyoucan » Tue Nov 14, 2017 1:19 am

Mo so pleased Peter has shown such improvement.
Have to laugh at the consultant. View of the nurses here at work is Consultants live in their own private and v self-important world! However they definitely do have their uses but I wouldn't bother with your genuflect 🤣.
Best wishes to Boris. He must be tired after all that product testing!!