A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

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Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Veema » Tue Jan 24, 2017 11:59 am

So sorry DG...there are no words. Be with him now, be his daughter and not his Boudicca. You can't say you haven't given it your best shot.

Loads of love as you face this next chapter.

Vx

sandraW
Posts: 1047
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby sandraW » Tue Jan 24, 2017 12:03 pm

Just to let you know I am thinking of you all DG, this bloody rotten sneaky disease, its evil. sending you massive cyber (((hugs))) love sandrax xx

Wife&Mum
Posts: 397
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 3:12 pm

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Wife&Mum » Tue Jan 24, 2017 1:15 pm

Feeling so sad for you at the moment and sending wishes of strength and fortitude as you face this new and ghastly challenge.
Much love to you and your family and wishes of comfort and peace to your Dad
W&M xx

Didge
Posts: 826
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Didge » Tue Jan 24, 2017 1:17 pm

I am so sorry. No words will suffice but sending you lots of love xxx

Proud Wife
Posts: 743
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Proud Wife » Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:28 pm

I HAVE JUST DELETED MY POST AS I SAID I WOULD. MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES IF I OFFENDED ANYONE. I "SPOKE" WITH RAW EMOTION YESTERDAY, NEEDED TO OFFLOAD AND POSTED BEFORE ENGAGING BRAIN. OF COURSE THERE IS HOPE. I JUST WANTED HIM TO BE ONE OF THE LUCKIER ONES, THAT'S ALL.

AGAIN, I AM REALLY SORRY. NEXT TIME I MIGHT TRY TO THINK FIRST. XXXX
Last edited by Proud Wife on Wed Jan 25, 2017 8:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

Justamo
Posts: 475
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Justamo » Tue Jan 24, 2017 3:21 pm

This whole thread is a tribute to DG and her family. Nobody on this earth could have fought more bravely than DG and her dad.

Thanks PCUK for allowing access to DG.

Thanks PW for channeling for a few days. Please don't stay away, I can understand that this news opens up scars but your experience and wisdom is invaluable to us.

DG, stay with us. We care about you and will continue to support you.

Love, prayers, hugs - the whole damn lot.
Mo

Elaine123
Posts: 204
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2016 6:49 pm

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Elaine123 » Tue Jan 24, 2017 4:08 pm

Welcome back DG and I am so sorry about your Dads news.....this evil cancer never stays still long enough for us to relax it just marches on relentlessly. I am thinking of you and your Dad and the family .
Elaine
X

stepuha
Posts: 93
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2016 2:31 pm

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby stepuha » Tue Jan 24, 2017 5:06 pm

Dear DG,
This is shocking. It happened so quickly.
I can't help but cry. I was so inspired by your story. It felt like you could move mountains and that your father would definitely succeed. I am so sorry.
Wishing you strength for what's to come.
Big hug,
x Stepuha

Marmalade

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Marmalade » Tue Jan 24, 2017 5:19 pm

Darling Dandy,

You have been so very kind to us all and an inspiration to many. I want you to know that we love you, warts, swearing, and generally rattling cages and all, every bit of you and you must never let anyone devalue the contribution you have made to this forum and more importantly to your Dad. You told him you would fight for and with him as long as he wanted to fight and you did, you were the best. No one could have done more.

Support now has a different focus but I know that you will approach it with calm and dignity to make sure that every hour is as good as it can be for your Dad. You will make sure he can move towards his final release and sleep in peace, knowing that you will let him go when the time comes and carry his genes of courage and strength to have the best life for yourself and those you love.

Louis asked me just before the end what he must do to pass and I told him that no one told us how to be born or how to smile or how to cry and he would not need any help to go. When the time comes Dad will know what to do and will go to another room where he will have release from his pain. The cancer will not have won, your Dad has lived a full life, has seen things, done things, made a difference to those around him and will not be defined by his illness.

Go gently now Dandy, we are with you and will be here in the wings keeping vigil with you.

I wish you and the family love and peace xxx

Proud Wife
Posts: 743
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Proud Wife » Tue Jan 24, 2017 6:26 pm

Beautiful post Marmalade.

Sones
Posts: 108
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2012 7:31 pm

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Sones » Tue Jan 24, 2017 7:44 pm

Dear DG my heart goes out to you, you have gone above and beyond with your love for your dad and he know this. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Marmalade what a lovely post.x

Dandygal76
Posts: 763
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Dandygal76 » Wed Jan 25, 2017 4:18 am

Thank you all so much.

PW, you know I love you... please delete your bit today. Yes, it is pants but I agree with Sones, people need hope and we cannot give them much else so why not give them that.

I am exhausted... it 4am in the morning and guess what I am doing? letter writing. Don't take this as the whims of a desperate daughter. We have a lovely Miss S that follows us and lost her mum and I really fricking get it. I am also tired and I don't want to have 25 pages of PC research on my computer. I want to do normal things again. However, my dad is at probably status 0 after I did what I do. He says 'they are talking tiny, it is only a small met to the brain' and onward he wants to fight. Me, I feel done but it is his life. There is something going on with his membrane as well. I am just so so tired. And now, they will have to be very firm to give a clinical reason not to treat with Folfirinox.

I told my son today I thought grandad is going to die.. It was the worse thing I have ever dealt with in my life.

Anyway, apparently we are not done. A lesion on the brain is no different to is spreading to the lungs. And he is right... it is just another organ.

At the end of the day, he is at 0 status so he is good and not suffering. I think I am over tired. x

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Quickasyoucan » Wed Jan 25, 2017 5:38 am

Dandygal you don't know me but I have followed your story and my 83 year old dad has stage 4 of in uk. I am not up early I am in Australia which makes supporting dad v challenging. I just wanted to say courage mes braves to you and your dad. Dad's oncologist told him this week without a scan that he thinks tumour is chemo resistant due to dad's lymphedema and suggested dad give up after one cyle. My brave dad has chosen to continue chemo and wait to see what the scan says when we finally get a date from nhs rather than giving up on a supposition especially as oncologist said he could be wrong. Your dad is a fighter as are you and my thoughts are with you and all on our collective journey.

Dandygal76
Posts: 763
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Dandygal76 » Wed Jan 25, 2017 5:52 am

thank you

I have taken the swear out but I just messaged PW and Marmalade this.

I feel !!!!... I want it over now. How bad is that. Henry (9) said to me this morning that it will be good when grandad dies because I will be less stressed. Then he asked me who will decorate his bedroom when he dies. I just blew... i said YOUR GRANDAD LOVES YOU AND HE DOESNT WANT TO !!!!!! DIE. I was the worse mother ever. He left the house in tears. My sister (who is a head teacher) said it is a life lesson and that he just has to deal with it. I felt awful and told the school what I did to make sure he was okay. They were great. They pulled him out to talk to him and he sobbed apparently. He is the loveliest boy and he has lost his mum. I am so tired and I cannot sleep I am just all over the place. I am about to go out for a run and it wont help.. x
Last edited by Dandygal76 on Wed Jan 25, 2017 12:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Thank you and our story... but we are not that far yet!

Postby Quickasyoucan » Wed Jan 25, 2017 6:02 am

Take care of yourself I am sure you are as good and competent a mother as you are a devoted daughter. The feeling of wanting it over is a normal emotion you are runnng a slow motion marathon.