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my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Wed May 21, 2014 4:48 pm
by kloweey
Roughly 3 weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that's spread to his liver. He hasn't told me much about it and the outcome. Really, no one has. I know that they can't operate and he's not having chemo. He's been sent home with nurses to look after him and he's currently on morphine and other pain relief. So yeah, I'm just wondering about other peoples experiences and if anyone can tell me roughly how long he might have left????

Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Wed May 21, 2014 6:18 pm
by jay
Just sending you a massive cyber hug. I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. Someone told me today when I was having teary moment that nobody knows what the future holds and to enjoy each moment, which is really difficult as no one can truly comprehend what its like until they are faced with this situation.
love Jayne x

Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Wed May 21, 2014 7:23 pm
by Slewis7313
Hi Kloweey and really sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis. I doubt that anyone would risk suggesting how long you Dad might have with this very unpredictable illness. It depends on so many factors and how far along he is with the illness. I would suggest his nurses will have a pretty good handle based on the treatment they are administering. They may not wish to share specific details, but are better placed than us to offer informed advice. I would suggest a quiet chat with them is a good first step.

Hope this helps!


Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Wed May 21, 2014 10:01 pm
by sandraW
Hi Kloweey, Welcome to the forum, I am sorry to hear about your Dad, as Steve rightly says no one can tell you, how ever much you want to know, but I agree the nurses will try to help you understand more as to what is happening. Please keep posting and I am sure people will be able to help more as your Dad's journey continues, take care sandrax

Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Thu May 22, 2014 7:28 pm
by Bowie
Hi Kioweey, though I'd share a good news story I have just heard from my friend. Her uncle was diagnosed with PC 12 years ago aged 70. He didn't have any treatment she's not sure why, but it had spread and chemo wasn't an option; anyway he has just celebrated his 82nd birthday. He is doing well, problems with his digestion, taking creon and avoiding fatty food, but other wise really well.

Thinking of you and your dad and wishing you all the best. Fiona X

Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Thu May 29, 2014 2:44 pm
by kloweey
Thank you all for all the kind words and help, his nurses have started coming round everyday and hes getting all the care and support he needs around him, its just difficult sometimes seeing how the morphine is effecting him i guess thanks again for the help!xx

Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Thu May 29, 2014 4:28 pm
by Jwilson
Kloweey. Hi. Do you by any chance know the type of morphine your dad is on and the dosage? They tend to start with lowish doses and when they increase it you worry a bit. Is it OxyContin for slow release and oxynorm as a top up for breakthrough pain? You can go right up to 200 mg of OxyContin apparently. Hope all going ok. Sounds like you have good nurses coming in.

Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Fri May 30, 2014 4:17 pm
by kloweey
Hi all i received a call from my dads nurse today, advising me to come and say my goodbyes as he has taken a turn for the worst its crazy how quickly everything has happened as he was only diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, thank you all for your support its been greatly helpful! Xxx

Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Fri May 30, 2014 5:46 pm
by jay
Thinking of you,

Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Fri May 30, 2014 5:58 pm
by LMD
Thinking of you x

Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Fri May 30, 2014 8:58 pm
by Fifi
Sorry Kloweey. Hope you feel strong enough to come back and post soon. Might help to write it all down to people that have been there and understand.


Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2016 4:31 am
by kloweey
I don't really know whats prompted me to visit this again, guess I'm feeling a bit down missing my dad. Sadly he passed away less than a month after I replied on this.

I got a call off my mum a 7:00 ish on a Saturday morning. I was staying at my boyfriends house - we'd all been on a night out before. She just said I needed to get ready so we could go to the hospice and say goodbye. Even on the way there I sort of didn't believe it. My mum & I were just talking normally and stuff. By the time we managed to get there it was too late - he'd already passed away 20 mins previous. I was devastated. I think maybe my problem is that I've not dealt with his death yet. I still honestly don't feel as though I've mourned yet and its not that I don't want too because I do - I just cant. I feel as though it will be letting him go and I'm really not ready too.

I'm just gutted, I'm gutted he didn't get too see my little brother start college, or me start uni, he's never going to meet future grand kids or be at weddings, its so sad.

I think the worst part is after a year it's 'old news' to other people, its not relevant to talk about any more and its difficult to keep it all bottled in sometimes.

Thanks for letting me vent. Chloe.

Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2016 9:28 am
by sandraW
Hi Chloe,
You vent away, that's what we are here for, to listen and help in any way we can.
Life continues for everyone else and yet as you say you are not ready yet to move forward, I lost my day when I was 17, that's 61 years ago, I still remember him like I saw him yesterday, it will get easier, but remember your dad will be in your heart forever and will never leave you. sending a big cyber (((hug))) sandrax xx

Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2016 11:05 am
by Proud Wife
Hello Chloe

You have done absolutely the right thing by coming on here! I know what you mean about "old news" but to you, your loss is still very raw and new. I really hope that by coming on here and chatting with us whenever you want and as often as you want, it will help in some way. I for one, have big cuddly cyber shoulders to cry on - do not keep it bottled up, that won't help you.

Have you thought or tried bereavement counselling? Perhaps that would help too?

I'm presuming that as your little brother has yet to start college, your Dad couldn't have been that old when he passed? Life can be so unfair sometimes.

Here for you in you need that squidgy shoulder xxx

Re: my dads life expectancy???

Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2016 1:08 pm
by Fifi
Hi Chloe,

Firstly I am so sorry that you have lost your Dad.

I read your post and see so many of my own feelings there. Never feel wrong for how you are feeling. You love your Dad, you miss him with every part of you. If I go out, into a supermarket, or into town, I see everyone carrying on with their lives, smiling, be happy. I feel like an ant. I want to just scream and say, what is wrong with you people, my Dad has died, why are you all so happy. So I try not to go out.
I don't know about you but I don't want to talk about other things, feels like I am carrying on without my Dad?
I have 'family' members that want to carry on like my Dad didn't exist. I shout them out now. It is not good for me.

If you want to speak about your Dad, you can always come here and do that. We all care.

I understand your feelings so much. I don't think they will ever go away. I think you just learn to live with them.

Grief is the last act of love we have to give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love.

Leila xx