A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

Moderator: volmod

Forum rules
Please see the messages in our "Rules" section

The posts on this discussion board are made by members of the General Public and are not intended to constitute medical advice
Posts: 21
Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2013 6:47 pm

Re: Lost in a nightmare

Postby Charney22 » Sun Apr 06, 2014 12:20 pm

Amanda I am so sorry to hear about phil, my heart goes
Out to you, as I am going through the same I know how numb
And lost you feel, take one day at a time and take all the support
You can get. My condolences to you and your family

Posts: 1047
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Lost in a nightmare

Postby sandraW » Sun Apr 06, 2014 12:54 pm

Amanda so sorry to hear you have lost your beloved Phil, you should think of yourself and just let go if you need to, bottling up your emotions will only make it worse. but I know how hard it is to do when you feel as though your the one who has to be strong. Take care of
yourself, thing of you and all the family,sandrax

Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: Lost in a nightmare

Postby Cathy » Sun Apr 06, 2014 1:13 pm

Hi Amanda

I am so very sad and sorry to read that Phil has passed away.

I know exactly how you will be feeling. Even when you know your partner is terminally ill, I really don't think you can know how you will feel til it happens. The only advice I can offer is be easy on yourself. Take all the support offered. Don't listen to anyone who tells you what they think you "should" be doing or feeling. If you feel like spending all day just sitting on the sofa, then do that.

Thinking of you

Cathy xx

Posts: 197
Joined: Fri Sep 20, 2013 11:06 pm

Re: Lost in a nightmare

Postby EmmaR » Sun Apr 06, 2014 2:05 pm

Please know there are so many of us on the forum who really do know what you are feeling like at this very sad time just hold on to your memories of your beloved Phil .
Love Emma x

Posts: 826
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Lost in a nightmare

Postby Didge » Sun Apr 06, 2014 10:47 pm

So sorry to hear the news about Phil. We are here for you Amanda whenever you need us.

Posts: 219
Joined: Fri May 03, 2013 9:39 pm

Re: Lost in a nightmare

Postby Bee » Mon Apr 07, 2014 7:58 am

I am so sorry to hear of your moods. His passing sounds very peaceful. You have both been so brave, take each day as it comes and let those around you support you. You are not alone, even though it may feel like it, many of us know exactly what you are going through.

Take care

Bee xx

PCUK Nurse Jeni
Posts: 1112
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:30 pm

Re: Lost in a nightmare

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Mon Apr 07, 2014 10:10 am

Dear Amanda,

We are so sorry to hear the news about Phil. I extend the condolences of Dianne and I, the support team, and the wider charity to you all at this sad time.

As others have commented on, it does seem like a peaceful way which Phil died, and you had a good time with him the evening before. It does not sound as if he was in pain at the time, and that it was very peaceful and its good that there was a nurse there at least, even though she was unprepared for this.

Our thoughts are with you and the family.

Jeni, Support Team.

Posts: 513
Joined: Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:29 am

Re: Lost in a nightmare

Postby nikkis » Mon Apr 07, 2014 4:34 pm

Dear Amanda,
So very sorry to hear that you have lost your wonderful man. This disease seems to affect the most loved, special people, who have so much to live for. Be honest with people about what support you need, and come here whenever you need to.
Take good care,

Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:39 pm

Re: Lost in a nightmare

Postby amanda45 » Thu Apr 17, 2014 12:15 am

Many thanks guys for all your kind words. We held Phil's funeral on Monday and I don't now what I was expecting but it turned out to be a beautiful day, sunny if a little chilly. The service was brilliant with a slide show of photo's playing in the background and over 150 people in attendance, our Rev's kind and inciteful words making people laugh as well as cry. The burial was family only and was calm and peaceful as we looked out on the great view of the castle and the sea. The wake carried on until 9.30pm with many the worse for wear but many great memories and stories were shared. The family and a few friends then ended up in the local Chinese for a late meal and more stories were retold. Since then the last couple of days have passed in a blaze or new house viewings and many phone calls organising this and that. I am now starting to feel very tired and I think a restful easter weekend is called for. I think Phil would have really enjoyed the funeral he spent so long planning everything went so well that I know we couldn't have given him a better send off.

Posts: 1047
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Lost in a nightmare

Postby sandraW » Thu Apr 17, 2014 11:00 pm

Amanda, what a beautiful day you describe full of tears and laughter, its good that it went so well and the service sounds lovely. I think at these difficult times you just get carried along as there is so much to do and then there is the calm after the storm, enjoy your weekend, if you can, it sounds as though you have busy times ahead with moving house,take care sandrax

Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: Lost in a nightmare

Postby Cathy » Fri Apr 18, 2014 5:42 pm

Hi Amanda,

That sounds like it went perfectly, a celebration of Phil's life.

It will feel like everything is a blur to you at the moment I imagine and things will take a while to sink in but i think you will get a lot of comfort, as they do, from the fact the funeral was so great.

A lot of us on here have tread the path you are on now so, when you feel alone, remember if you can that you aren't.

Much love

Cathy xx

Posts: 954
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:15 am

Re: Lost in a nightmare

Postby J_T » Fri Apr 18, 2014 8:45 pm

Glad to hear the funeral went well, sounded like a real celebration of Phil's life.

Look after yourself.

Julia x