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Our hero lost the battle

Postby karen17 » Fri Sep 27, 2013 11:30 am

Can't quite believe I'm posting this but my brave bob finally passes away in the early hours this morning. We are exactly a year from diagnosis and he has worked full time, used the gym and really lived life 2 the full till 5 weeks ago when jaundice took him into hospital. Those weeks were not easy but we finally got our wish for him to be transferred to our local community hospital on Wednesday where he received fantastic care till the end. My daughter and I were with him on beds by the side of his with me cuddled up to him in our usual sleeping position. He had been fairly unresponsive all day but was aware that family visited and we brought his dog in for a few hours. I woke around 2am to find his breathing had changed slightly, woke Rebecca and within 10 minutes he had gone. So relieved he is free but so sad and scared too. I think he went the way he would have wanted with only a short time being really ill. I take my hat off to his courage, tenacity and bravery - my hero who I will so miss.
Thinking of u all in this shitty process and wish you strength.
Karen. Xxx

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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Cathy » Fri Sep 27, 2013 11:47 am

Oh my G*d Karen!!

I am so so so sorry. We knew Bob was poorly and hadn't heard from you for a little while but, OMG, so fast!! And when he really had been doing so well.

I don't think there is anything I can say that will help but I am thinking of you my dear forum friend, and Rebecca too of course.

As well as Bob being brave and tenacious, you were as well, as well as a great support to others. An inspiration to the rest of us here.

We are thinking of you Karen and sending lots of virtual love and hugs.

Cathy xxxxxxxx

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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Jwilson » Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:01 pm

Oh no! Can't see the screen for tears for you! Terrible news. Watching suffering is so hard that at times you want it to be over for them and then on good days you feel awful for thinking such a thing. I don't know how you will cope but you know what? You can and you will. You will get strength to carry you through the worst times and other times you will just dissolve into a big mess.
It was good that Bob was moved to where you wanted him to be and that you were there, even the dog!
Thinking about you as I pack clean jammies for the cancer centre. More shite times.
June x

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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby J_T » Fri Sep 27, 2013 5:31 pm

Karen and Rebecca, words cannot express the sadness I feel at your loss. Its all the more shocking because Bob had being doing SO well prior to the jaundice.

I know you and Rebecca will help each other through the difficult days ahead.

Much love to you both

Julia xxx

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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby nikkis » Fri Sep 27, 2013 5:41 pm

So sorry to hear about your husband Karen. Really glad that you were both with him, and he got to see your dog. My husband always says that we are the lucky ones because we have got each other and he hasn't had to face this alone. Really hope it is a comfort to you that you have had lots of good times and were with him at the end,

Love Nikki

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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Slewis7313 » Fri Sep 27, 2013 5:59 pm

Karen, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Nothing I can say will take away your pain and I can only reiterate the comments of support from our friends on this forum. The fact that Bob's fortunes could change so much in such a short time after doing so well reinforces indeed what a rubbish illness this is.

Look after yourselves and I will be thinking of you during this most difficult of times.


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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby KATB » Fri Sep 27, 2013 7:03 pm

Oh no Karen, I am so sad :-(
I am so, so sorry. This awful, hideous disease - I hate it.

Sending you much love and strength and just know that I'm thinking of you.


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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Jwilson » Fri Sep 27, 2013 7:07 pm

How's it going Karen?

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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Bee » Fri Sep 27, 2013 7:49 pm

I sobbed when reading your post.
I am so very sad to hear about Bob and send you so many virtual hugs.
Nothing I can say can take your pain away but I am thinking of you and Rebecca.
I guess as you say he lived life to to the full for as long as possible and sounds peaceful in his last days, surely what we all wish for.
I have no doubt you WILL find the strength to deal with this terrible time, keep posting,

With hugs and best wishes, I will raise a glass to your hero tonight!

Bee xxx

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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Sueba » Fri Sep 27, 2013 9:10 pm

Hi Karen
There is nothing else I can add to the comments above!
This disease is rubbish!!!
All my love and thoughts

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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby InfoForMum » Fri Sep 27, 2013 10:03 pm

That's so awful. Karen I'm so sorry for you and the kids. I had been worried that things might have taken a turn for the worst with your last text, but hoped I'd read too much into it.

Being close-ish down the road, please, please let me know if I can do anything at all now or when the immediate shock and aftermath passes.

Nasty, viscious disease!


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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby belgrade » Sat Sep 28, 2013 1:34 am

I am so sorry to hear this Karen amd my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My husband lost his fight against this cruel disease just over two weeks ago so I know how you feel. Perhaps, like me, you can take comfort in the fact that his pain and suffering are now over. The following poem was read at Dave's funeral and I have found the words a great comfort to me and perhaps, sums up the way in which we will carry on.
Thinking of you,

He is gone
You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Cathy » Sat Sep 28, 2013 10:58 am

That's a lovely poem Hilary. Thank you for sharing it. I found it hard to read as my eyes kept filling with tears and I didn't want Jonathan to see. :(

Hope you are doing ok and that you are surrounded by love and support.

Karen, I hope the same for you and to let you know you are in my thoughts constantly.

Cathy xxx

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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby karen17 » Sat Sep 28, 2013 6:04 pm

Thank u all for your kinds words and support and Hilary I have finally with many tears managed 2 get to the end of your poem. I am going 2 jot it down and discuss with Rebecca and Alex having it read at bobs funeral. It is just so appropriate.
Yesterday was a dreadful day with many tears and emotional and physical exhaustion but today I got up put on a brave face and did the shopping and normal things. Keeping busy certainly helps but i guess we are going 2 b very up and down.
thinking of you all xxx

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Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Cathy » Sat Sep 28, 2013 6:37 pm

Hi Karen

It is a lovely poem isn't it.

Great to hear from you and well done you for managing to put on a brave face today. Don't feel you always have to though. Be easy on yourself and let others take the strain, if people offer their help, then let them if that will help you.

Things will be very up and down but you are a strong person so you will get through I'm sure.

I hope everything goes smoothly with organising Bob's funeral and that it goes perfectly for all of you. Don't ever hesitate to log on here and have a good rant/cry/whatever you feel like.

Lots of love to you, Rebecca and Alex.