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Carole McGregor
Posts: 50
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2012 9:19 pm

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Carole McGregor » Sat Sep 28, 2013 10:59 pm

Oh Karen

Just popped onto forum to see how you are all doing and still can't quite believe what I have just read. Clive and I send all our love to you and your family. From the beginning, I have admired the way that you and Bob have handled this horrible disease and tried to live your lives as normally as possible for as long as possible. I hope you find some comfort at some stage in knowing that you were there to help him be pain free and peaceful at the end.

Carole xxx

Posts: 220
Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2013 12:20 pm

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby cestrian » Sun Sep 29, 2013 5:48 pm

Dear Karen

So sorry to hear of your sad loss and my sincere condolences to you and your family at this difficult time.

Not long after I had been diagnosed my GP and I were chatting and he came up with "Something to be glad about" in that at least both I and my family had time to make sure that we all knew how much we loved each other and could say all those things that folk regret were left unspoken when a loved one dies unexpectedly.

His words were brought home to me in spades when within a couple of weeks two friends did indeed die suddenly, one from a heart attack and the other with a stroke. Such a horrendous shock to their families.

I am sure that you all treasured the ability to say all those things that are so often left unsaid and that this will be of comfort to you and your family in the coming weeks and months as you come to terms with your loss.

Peace and Love


Posts: 136
Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2012 12:23 am

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby yorkypaul » Sun Sep 29, 2013 9:21 pm

Karen, my thoughts and prayers are with you(and Bob) at this awful time. He was one lucky guy to have your amazing support during his brave fight against this terrible disease. Try to take comfort that he is no longer suffering, but do whatever you feel is right to keep going. It's a long, hard path to follow, but you will do it with the support of your friends and loved ones. I know exactly how you feel.
Big hug,
Paul xx

PCUK Nurse Jeni
Posts: 1115
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:30 pm

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Mon Sep 30, 2013 10:55 am

Hi Karen,

We are so very sorry to hear of Bob's passing, so unexpectedly. As you said, he bore this awful illness with great bravery and resilience.

Please accept our deepest sympathies, from the support team, and the wider charity.

Thinking of you all at this sad time.

Jeni and Dianne,
Support Team.

PCUK Nurse Dianne
Posts: 317
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:29 pm

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby PCUK Nurse Dianne » Mon Sep 30, 2013 2:58 pm

Hi Karen and Rebecca,

We are so, so sorry to hear of Bob's passing and send our sincerest condolences from all the staff at Pancreatic Cancer UK. Such a sad and difficult time for you, and such a lovely brave message you posted, with Bob living life to the full until recent weeks.

In true supportive style your 'forum family' are all thinking of you at this difficult time, and we are here for you if you ever need a listening ear or feel like a chat.

With our heartfelt sympathy,

Jeni and Dianne,
Support Team

Posts: 219
Joined: Fri May 03, 2013 9:39 pm

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Bee » Fri Oct 11, 2013 8:26 pm

Hi Karen,
I read on another thread that Bob's funeral is imminent. All of your forum family will be thinking of you, from the sound of things it will be a full house. You sound like you are doing an amazing job and being amazingly strong.

Sending virtual hugs as always, and of course the wine and chocolate !!

Bee xxx

Posts: 157
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 8:38 pm

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby karen17 » Sun Oct 13, 2013 9:25 am

Thank you Bee - I have to say I am thinking about the funeral with trepidation. It seems so final. Spent yesterday cutting the grass and weeding for Bob's arrival home as he would want everything perfect. The grass was rather wet and I used the electric mower to my neighbours and mothers horror - I did smile to myself as I thought it was perhaps a good job a double grave was due to be dug! Apologies for my black sense of humour. Typical health professional!
once this has settled I plan to go back to my roots in Yorkshire for a week to give myself time to think and time out.
Mike I just read your post regarding in a way it is a blessing that we get time to say goodbye to our loved ones and I think you are just so right. Everything had been said between Bob and all of us so nothing to regret. In contrast a couple of months ago our close friend lost his wife to a massive heart attack and he is in a really bad way with a lot of it appearing to be around things not said.
Thank you Paul for your post too. I remember reading your posts which were very difficult and emotive. I admired the way you dealt with it all too.

Posts: 100
Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2013 9:52 am

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Jwilson » Sun Oct 13, 2013 12:26 pm

Karen, hi. I did smile about the grass having to be perfect. Bob and Bill must have been quite alike. Bills hedges look like he used a spirit level when he was cutting them. I see this morning that another good man has gone. Julia's Ray. This is unbelievable. Who's next? Bill not good. He can't do stairs now. His feet and ankles are full of fluid. On the up side he is now eating quite well and has put on a bit of weight. We have a wheelchair to get him to his chemo. Otherwise he doesn't leave the house or get dressed. He is just so frail. Maybe in the future we ladies should have a weekend or something. We have all gone through such awful times. Meanwhile friend request me on Facebook. [Personal details removed as per forum guidance and rules - please contact us if you would like June's details - moderator] . Easy to find me. Big blonde woman at daughters wedding is my cover photo.
How are you coping really? I drink too much wine but hey I need to get to sleep!
Love June x

Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Cathy » Sun Oct 13, 2013 3:51 pm

Hi Karen

You do sound like you are coping admirably (despite what the lawn might look like :wink: ). I take my hat off to your strength and am thinking of you as the funeral approaches. As well as Julia and her family now, as I said on her post, although we have never met, you all feel like friends now.

June, sorry to hear that Bill is still frail but the weight gain is great news isn't it. I'll look you up on Facebook. I wonder if you'll have a glass in your hand :)

Loads of love.

Cathy xxx

Posts: 332
Joined: Mon Aug 19, 2013 12:01 pm

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby InfoForMum » Sun Oct 13, 2013 11:40 pm

Hi Karen,

The grass cutting rang a bell with Mum and I too! Dad had beautifully manicured lawns with perfect lines. First time mum got out the old mower, again just before the funeral, it looked more like one of those crazy slides at the fun fair. We ended up laughing till we cried while laying flat on our backs on the slalomed lawn, then raising a glass to the old man. Mum commented that he'd be up there saying "Oh god, look at mine, p*ssed again!".

I hope his send off goes to plan. From what you've told me about Bob and your family it will be the hoped for celebration of a well lived life. Sending coping vibes to you and the kids.

Lots of love


Posts: 100
Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2013 9:52 am

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Jwilson » Mon Oct 14, 2013 11:17 pm

Sarah!!! If you didn't laugh you would cry. In fact I seem to have mastered the art of doing both at the same time. We have such terrific friends. Today the sun was shining in Ireland. I looked out and a neighbour was cutting a hedge at the front of our house, a physio arrived with a walking aid for Bill, the hospice nurse popped in, another friend cut the back garden, two ex colleagues of Bills followed by two young maths teachers from his department turned up bearing wine, juice, cake etc and then a workmate of mine arrived. Bill dozed all evening he was so exhausted by it all!
By the way the lines on the grass are like shite but hey.....it's cut!

Posts: 954
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:15 am

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby J_T » Tue Oct 15, 2013 12:22 am

Thinking of you and the family Karen.

Julia xxx

Posts: 100
Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2013 9:52 am

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby Jwilson » Tue Oct 15, 2013 12:34 am

Me too x

Posts: 332
Joined: Mon Aug 19, 2013 12:01 pm

Our hero lost the battle

Postby InfoForMum » Tue Oct 15, 2013 1:28 am

Me as well.


Posts: 157
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 8:38 pm

Re: Our hero lost the battle

Postby karen17 » Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:33 am

I cannot thank u enough for your support ladies. Quickly logged on trying to put off getting up to face today and saw your posts. Can't tell you how much they mean.
Currently in bed listening to the sounds of everyone else getting up and hoping the relatives will sort the dishwasher out ( packed up in the middle of a full load last night! ) it never rains but pours! Very anxious about today but has to be done. Bob's final party must go on xxx