Hi

[julesgreen]

Hi Everyone

I found out yesterday my dad who I havent seen for 5 years has pancreatic cancer. (We do speak sometimes on the phone)
He is 60 and a diabetic but was also an alcoholic for many years.
He has tests in 3 weeks to see how far advanced it is, he has been losing weight for over 2 years, does that mean he's had it for 2 years? Why does he have to wait for more tests, does that mean they arent too worried?

My mum isnt very sympathetic as he made her life hell and she still has nightmares 35 years on. She says why should I bother as he's never bothered about me, but it feels like part of me is dying and he's still my dad.
Sorry I am rambling but dont really have anyone to talk to about it

Thanks
Julie

[angelinamacc]

Hi Julie
Sorry to hear your Dad is ill, and that circumstances are difficult. I understand that you still care even though you are estranged, my Dad left when I was 3, and I hardly saw him after but I stall cared about him.
I will try to answer your questions but I am just guessing.
The weight loss would probably indicate that some thing has been going on for 2 years, but it doesn't have to be cancer, it could be any number of reasons.
The fact that your Dad has to wait 3 weeks means nothing, in the health service any appointment under a month or 2 is seen as urgent!
My mum waited 2 months for her surgery, which was for cancer and it seemed ages.
It is known that alchololics are more likely to get pancreatic problems, but my mum never drank at all and had PC, so it doesn't follow.
I hope the news is good, when you get it but if you need to talk in the mean time we are here, and it's a really useful forum.
Angie

[julesgreen]

Thanks for your reply, I spoke to him again yesterday and he seems cheerful but his wife is upset everytime I speak to her. I wanted to book a cheap flight for begining of September but he says I should wait until he gets his results, I said that would mean I couldnt get a cheapie until Oct/Nov but he didnt seem to think that was a problem. The trouble is when his dad was dying I had a trip booked to see him and he died 2 weeks before the date so I never had chance to say goodbye, I guess that is my big fear.

[angelinamacc]

Hi Julie,
If I was you I would go anyway as you havn't seen him for so long, there's nothing to be lost and a lot to gain I think.
If you can get a cheap flight in Sept go then and make that the reason if you need one.
Angie

[julesgreen]

Thanks I guess I just needed someone to agree with what I was already thinking

[julesgreen]

Spoke to Dad last night, his appointment has been brought forward to next week, he has the investigations on Monday and the prognosis on Tuesday. I am pleased it has been brought forward, I guess at least he'll know what he's up against.

[angelinamacc]

Hi Julie
Glad to hear things are moving fast, as the waiting is awful especially if your dad is feeling ill. Where is he living and will he have treatment there if needed.

[julesgreen]

Hi
Dad lives near Edinburgh and assume he will be treated there, I havent asked a lot of questions as my stepmother cries everytime I ring and Dad changes the subject asap when I ask anything, sure they will tell me more once they know where he stands.

Thanks for your support I appreciate it

Julie

[angelinamacc]

You're welcome, it's good to have someone to talk to who isn't involved in any way as all the people around you are too emotionally involved.
Keep in touch and let us know the test results.
Angie

[julesgreen]

Hi
My dad told me today he now needs a liver biopsy as the biopsy 2 weeks ago revealed the tumours have grown considerably and moved into his liver. He will only be able to have the liver biopsy if the tumour/s are not pressing on his diaphragm.
My mums partner (whose wife died of PC about 8 years ago) says that he doesnt think they can do much except make him more comfortable, has anyone had experience of someone surviving PC? I have more or less come to terms with the probability of losing him so please be honest. I am trying to get to Scotland this month to see him, as i've said in previous posts havent seen him for 5 years, but have managed to speak to him a number of times over last few weeks which is good.
Thanks
Julie

[julesgreen]

My dad has refused chemotherapy in favour of a treatment devised by an Australian doctor, something about cottage cheese and flaxseed oil, has anyone else heard of this?

Thanks Julie

[sharmayo]

just wanted to know how are things for you and your dad.
Did your dad change his mind on having any chemo

kind regards

sharon

[julesgreen]

Hi Sharon
Have just got back from visiting my Dad, which I am glad I have done, he is still refusing chemo and continuing with the alternative treatment he had a CT Scan on Thurs to see if tumours have grown anymore which will establish if he can have a liver biopsy the purpose of which I understand is to see how long he has got left.His wife is very determined he isnt going to die but I dont feel my Dad shares her optimism. I think he is just doing the alternative thing for her.

Julie