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Posts: 50
Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2012 6:43 pm

Re: wendy, and now my son , how differant

Postby Morwenna » Sat Jan 12, 2013 6:42 pm

Oh Laura i'm so sorry to hear of your loss, you really are going through it!! No tears doesn't mean you don't care, we all deal with these things differently and cope in our own ways. I admire your honesty and if you don't go to the funeral then people should respect your decision.
Thinking of you.. (((((Hugs))))
Morwenna xx

Posts: 435
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:22 am

Re: wendy, and now my son , how differant

Postby DRAD3 » Sat Jan 12, 2013 7:49 pm

Hi Laura - so lovely to hear from you and to hear that you are OK, despite how difficult things must be. I totally understand your decision about going to the funeral. As you say, no-one should judge anyone else until they have walked in their shoes. We often do things out of fear of what people will think of us. People who truly know us, the ones who care about us and the ones we care about, know the truth and will always understand and back us up - Brian has shown that. That is all that matters Laura. You know in your heart what is right, stick to it and continue being true to yourself - I admire you immensely - keep strong. Lots of love. Deb xx

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Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:53 pm

Re: wendy, and now my son , how differant

Postby laura » Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:02 pm

hi all, thanks so very much for all your lovely supporting posts, means a lot to me xxxx
i feel at peace with myself and my decision.
strangely after i made that decision and told my other sons wife, within a few minutes i had a fone call offering me an appointment for counselling, on the same day as the funeral,!
i have accepted it, though a bit sceptical, as i know really what my worries/anxiety's are and need to step back from some, however i cant knock it till i'v tried it. again thankyou thankyou, you lovely people.
isnt it a shame that we couldnt all meet a for a meal or something, or is it better to keep it secret? :)
take care every one, you all mean a lot to me, goodnight, love n hugs laura xxxxx

Posts: 435
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:22 am

Re: wendy, and now my son , how differant

Postby DRAD3 » Sun Jan 13, 2013 5:30 pm

That is certainly fate, Laura - an opportunity to have a space to let go of some of your anxieties, rather than being in a place that would just add to them! I haven't been for any formal counselling but am lucky enough to work for a service that offers it and am surrounding by wonderful and wise people who know just what to say and what to do. It can be incredibly helpful to just be able to verbalise all of the hundreds of thoughts, fears and worries that constantly go round and round in our heads. We can't say them when we are trying to be strong for our loved ones and it is not good to keep them in - they only build up and come out in other ways that can be destructive. It won't be that magic wand, Laura, but just as coming on here and putting down your thoughts can help, so will the counselling session - I hope so, anyway.
As for the meal - that would be lovely, wouldn't it - sounds like a nightmare to organise though - I have enough trouble getting my (small) family together for social gatherings!!

Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:31 pm

Re: wendy, and now my son , how differant

Postby Catherine » Sun Jan 13, 2013 7:01 pm

Laura, I think you are doing completely the right thing for you. I admire your bravery and decision. Good luck with the counselling. Much love Catherine xx

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Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2012 3:02 pm

Re: wendy, and now my son , how differant

Postby Sammy-Lou » Tue Jan 15, 2013 10:22 pm

Hi Laura,
I've haven't been on for a little while again for one thing or another and have just popped onto your thread to see how you were doing.
I'm glad to hear that you are doing ok and that a weight seems to have lifted since you made your decision, I totally agree that no one can judge til they've been in someone's shoes and feel that what ever someone elses opinions are of your actions, they are irrelevant because you make decisions (no matter what they are about) based on what is best for you and nobody can question that so please don't look to anyone for approval, too many people are quick to judge and trust me, I'm not religious but it's no-ones job to judge anyone else on this earth.
Like Debs said, Fate that you should be offered counsilling on that very day, something to help you rather than bring more heartache. I do hope you get something out of it and hope Brian is doing well?
You have been a wonderful support to myself and others on her and are so very valued and I hope you know that xxx