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Re: My Mum

Posted: Tue Mar 05, 2019 7:43 pm
by Kerry

I’m so sorry to hear your mums pain hasn’t been sorted. Give the nurses on this site a call. They were so helpful when I spoke to them.

Hope you get your mums meds sorted soon. That will make a huge difference once she has the pain under control.

Kerry x

Re: My Mum

Posted: Tue Mar 26, 2019 7:12 am
by LST
Well the rollercoaster continues!

Mums pain meds were changed and she was better and ready for her first chemo. All went fine with it apart from some fatigue and a slight upset stomach. 2nd round was planned but platelets were low so delayed one day. Next day platelets still low so delayed 2 days that’s when things went pear shaped.

Mum had a reaction to the meds she was on and I had to phone the emergency number. She was admitted to hospital. She was suffering from delirium, caused by her medication, she didn’t know where she was, who she was or who I was and was so dizzy she couldn’t walk. I was so scared and was convinced I was going to lose her, very upsetting and traumatic week.

She’s still in hospital a week and a half later. Delirium has eventually gone but it’s left her very weak. Her meds are being tweaked and she’s still in pain. She’s lost a load of weight and her hair has started to fall out too. Oncology consultant is moving her to the hospice for rehabilitation to get her back on her feet to go home. They are still saying they’ve not totally given up hope she’ll start the chemo again but she needs to be so much fitter than she is for her to get it. Mum asked if she was going to hospice to die but consultant said no just to get rehabilitation, you’ll come out again. Do you think she’s telling the truth?

I’m just not sure they will give chemo again and if I’m being honest I’m not sure she’ll get home. When we were offered chemo they said it probably would give us a year! I just can’t believe everything has gone so wrong. I’m so upset and anxious and worried about mum. I’m not sleeping, I’m trying to work and go visit mum. I need her to be here a wee bit longer as I feel we’ve not had the chance to fight this horrible disease!

Maybe I’m just a pessimist but as each day passes without chemo the tumour grows! And her time with he ticks away.

Maybe the hospice will work wonders and she will get home again .... please everyone keep your fingers crossed x


Re: My Mum

Posted: Wed Mar 27, 2019 4:30 pm
by PCUK Nurse Nicola

Its Nicci here, one of the nurses working on the support line at Pancreatic Cancer UK.

LST, I am so sorry to hear that your Mum has had complication’s from her medications, she must have felt dreadful and I am sure you are all most upset and frustrated that she hasn’t been able to continue her chemotherapy at present.

LST I am going to send you a direct email with some further information, which I hope will be helpful to you. Please be aware you can also contact us on the support line number (see below in the signature) as and when you need. We are open Mon-Fri 10am- 4pm.

Kindest Regards


Nicci Murphy
Pancreatic Cancer Specialist Nurse
Support Team
Pancreatic Cancer UK
support line: 0808 801 0707

Re: My Mum

Posted: Mon Apr 22, 2019 10:00 pm
by LST
Well it’s with a heavy heart that I have to tell you my mum passed away on 5 April 2019.

Mum started her chemo on 7 March - all went well. A little fatigue and a little bit of an upset tum but all okay. She said a week later that she felt the best she had felt in 3 months since she was diagnosed!!!! Great news x
She went for her second dose however, her platelets were low. That was the Thursday, she went back on the Friday and they were still low- she was booked to go back on the Sunday.
On the Friday night, 15 March, she was very dizzy and I thought she had an infection. Called the emergency cancer number, and she was admitted. Mum had delirium caused, we think, from her medication. She was away with the birdies for a week - very frightening! At one point they thought the cancer had spread to her brain, which was terrifying for us.
She recovered to a certain degree, she was left very very weak and with substantial weight loss. Oncologist decided to send her to the a hospice to rehabilitate her and to get on top of her pain. She moved to the hospice on 27 march. Spoke to Oncologist and she was still hopeful she would get rest if chemo and get home.
Mum settled well in the hospice but was still in considerable pain! They chopped and changed things but mum was still weak and pain was still an issue especially during the night.
I spoke to the consultant on Thursday 4 April and we talked about how we could get her home, possible chemo options and what was next. All positive.
At 2.39am on Friday 5 April I got the call. I drive like a maniac but I didn’t make it in time unfortunately abd mum passed 5 mins after they phoned me. That will always make me sad- I wanted so much to be with her.
So just 3 weeks after delirium struck and the day after I spoke about the future chemo options I lost my wonderful, supportive, caring mum. I’m devastated!
I feel we never really had a chance at a fight! Diagnosed 7 Jan 2019. Chemo 7 March 2019. Delirium 15 March 2019. Her passing 5 April 2019.
We were given 3 months possibly longer without treatment and up to a year with treatment. We didn’t get either. In a blink of an eye, in a short breath, in a hesitation, she was gone. I’m so angry we never got to fight this!!! Why? I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. she wanted to fight it!! She was my mum my best friend. How I go on from here I don’t know. I don’t have a husband or partner or brothers or sisters x I feel so alone so frightened x life is so very very unfair xxx

Wishing you all the strength and courage to fight this and I hope with my heart you have more time with your relatives x treasure each moment xx

“Until we meet again Mum xxx”

Re: My Mum

Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2019 4:19 pm
by PCUK Nurse Rachel R

I'm so incredibly sorry and sad to read of your lovely Mum's passing.

Thank you for sharing Mum's end of life story and pouring your heart out.

Your Mum sounds such an amazing and brave lady. I'm certain she is massively proud of you and thankful for all you did as you tried to fight this dreadful disease together.

On behalf of all the nurses here, we would like to extend our deepest sympathies to you - please know that you are in our thoughts. Please know we are here for you if you need some support in the weeks ahead.

Thinking of you,

Rachel, Dianne, Jeni & Nicci.
Pancreatic Cancer UK Support Nurses

Re: My Mum

Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2019 9:51 am
by LST
Hi everyone

Unfortunately my wonderful, loving, caring Mum passed away in 5 April. Not even 3 months after diagnosis. I am absolutely devastated! When she was diagnosed she said ‘I thought I had more time’ and so did I. In a blink of an eye she was gone.

Mum got one round of chemo. She was in a lot of pain but tolerated it well. The night before the second treatment she said she felt the best she had in months.... we had hope!

Next day the chemo was delayed due to low white cell count. Next day (Friday), blood tested again, still too low. Told to come back on the Monday. On the Friday afternoon I didn’t think mum was great, she was really dizzy. Phoned cancer help line was told to bring her into hospital. Turned out she had delirium! Caused by the strong pain meds, her body just couldn’t take the high doses of morphine. It was a terrible week, she was really confused, asking where my dad was(he died 9 years ago), not recognising me, sleeping lots, she couldn’t walk she was too dizzy and she lost so much weight. Very upsetting.

She got better (week and a half in hospital) but was was left very very weak. Hospital transferred her to Hospice to get on top of her pain. She was in there just a week and a half. The day before she passed away the consultant was talking about getting her home to build her strength to start her chemo again!

Next morning 2.26am the phone call came. I drove like a maniac to get to the Hospice but I didn’t get there in time.

We had been told we had potentially a year if she took chemo. We had hope! and it was all just cruelly taken-away so quickly.

I miss her so much! I’m so upset I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I feel so lonely in life without her as I don’t have any siblings or a husband. my anxiety is terrible and I’m not sleeping. There’s a huge void that I’ll never fill.

I really hope you get longer with your loved one x just make the most of each day, tell them daily you love them, as things can change so quickly. No one thought my mum would go as quickly as she did.

Sending my love to you all x


Re: My Mum

Posted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 3:44 pm
by PCUK Nurse Rachel R

Rachel here, one of the nurses. I'm so incredibly sorry for the loss of your lovely Mum. My heart goes out to you for all the pain you're going through. Please do accept our deepest sympathies. I will email you directly, please don't feel you're alone.

Kindest wishes,

Rachel, Dianne, Nicci & Jeni

Rachel Richardson
Pancreatic Cancer Specialist Nurse
Support Team
Pancreatic Cancer UK
support line: 0808 801 0707

Re: My Mum

Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 9:46 pm
by LST
It’s nearly 8 months since I lost my mum to this horrible disease. I’ve had my good days and bad days but I’m really struggling with Christmas coming up.

I can’t bear to look at Christmas decorations or listen to Christmas tunes on the radio. I can’t believe I won’t ever buy a card that says Mum on it. I am reliving last Christmas in my mind and I’m sad and upset that it won’t ever be the same. Christmas cards have stated to arrive addressed to mum! With messages saying ‘hope you’re well, hope you’re looking forward to 2020’. Messages mum will never get. It’s upsetting.

I can almost accept how I’m feeling, I loved my Mum so very much and the pain of losing her some days is unbearable! What I can’t get my head around is those people who think I should be okay! People just don’t understand. I need my own time to grieve ! And that time may be longer or shorter than others, but it’s my time. And that makes some days upsetting, unbearable, unliveable.

I need to ask, am I the only one who feels like this 8 months on? Still missing your loved one and struggling with the first Christmas? Because some people are making me feel that I’m odd, nuts, unstable. Some people have said ‘its 8 months, your mum
Passed away ages ago!‘ Yet in my mind it’s just a blink of my eye!

I am seeing a counsellor to help me cope and she is great. She tells me it will take time and time will heal me. I’m just struggling to understand why some people, just don’t understand and make it so difficult for me to just get through each day and don’t understand I need some support.

I would love to hear from anyone who is going through the year of ‘firsts’ to share your feelings so hopefully I can feel that I’m I’m not the only one feeling this way xxx


Re: My Mum

Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2019 11:25 pm
by sandraW
I'm so sorry that this truly horrendous disease took your lovely Mum away from you.
People just don't understand how the death of a loved one can affect you, and particularly when the death is much quicker that expected, and the passing so traumatic.
The firsts are always terrible first Christmas, first birthdays, first anniversaries, Its actually 4 years and 7 months since I lost my husband, we had been together for 50 years when he died.
I promised him I would be strong, and tried to be for his sake, think what your Mum would want you
to be, its so hard but it does get easier with time, hopefully you can think of your Mum with a smile,
and soon with laughter.
Don't listen to what the others say, just grieve in your own time and in your own way, you will get through it, it just takes time. take care sandra x