Coping with death and illness is no picnic is it? Its very very hard, some days its overwhelming. These are the days when its most important to take care of ourselves and not ask too much of ourselves. It does pass but it takes time and you have been coping for quite a while now so its going to take quite a while to regain your balance and start to move forward. PW is right, its very early days and little steps are enough.
Much as the media would like us to think otherwise Christmas is not a day where the whole world is happy. My Dad died at Christmas which put a damper on it for a while but Christmas is about showing care and consideration for those who may not have family or friends, or who are alone, and to express joy that despite the winter and darkness, new life is beginning again, its about the difference a baby, a new beginning can make to the world.
Of course your Dad loved Christmas because he liked people to enjoy the festivities. Maybe thats all we can do now they have passed, think of what they would enjoy and try to make their happy, healthy, joyful times count for more than their suffering. I would hate my children to only ever remember me as sick, it would be as if the good years never happened.
Sleep well and rest easy Natter, we will all be here surrounding you with our love and prayers xx
A forum for people to support each other after the loss of a loved one