A forum for people to support each other after the loss of a loved one

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An anniversary I don't want

Postby Isa » Mon Apr 27, 2015 11:42 pm

I can't believe a year has gone by. I'm just so sad and the world goes on and doesn't notice.

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Re: An anniversary I don't want

Postby Didge » Tue Apr 28, 2015 8:42 am

I often think that. On what is a normal day for most people, another person is going through hell, losing a loved one, facing a sad anniversary etc. I always try to mark anniversaries regarding the loss of my husband by doing something nice that day - date of death, our wedding anniversary and his birthday. It can be something simple like a special meal or a day out somewhere. And then I remember all the happy times we had together. That way those anniversaries become something celebratory rather than traumatic.


Re: An anniversary I don't want

Postby Fifi » Tue Apr 28, 2015 9:35 am

Nice words Didge.

My Dad only passed away 1 week today, but yes the world does still move on. I hate already. Even just normal TV routines, makes me want to scream " my world has fallen apart and you are acting like nothing has happened". Very very hard. I guess people can't appreciate how we are feeling, when they haven't been through what we have been through. We haven't just had someone we love pass away. We have fought the entire medical profession in keeping them alive as much as possible. Things like that stick in your mind.

Leila xxx

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Re: An anniversary I don't want

Postby jay » Thu Apr 30, 2015 4:56 pm

Thinking of you. One of my friends told me grief is like stones in your stomach. Initially they are extremely rough and constantly rubbing together but after time they become slightly blunter with all the rubbing. They never go and are always there but the pain lessens a little. My husband died 7 months ago and there is not a minute goes by that I don't think of him.
love Jayne

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Re: An anniversary I don't want

Postby belgrade » Sat May 02, 2015 12:49 am

Hello Jayne,
It has been almost 20 months since my husband died and I too think of him every waking minute. I still find it hard to believe that I will never see him again and will never get over the loss, but it does get easier. Grief never goes away, but you do learn to create a new life alongside it, not the one you planned or hoped for, but you do have the choice to create a new life where sadly, our loved ones had their choice cruelly taken away.
Wishing all of us peace and strength,

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Joined: Fri Nov 01, 2013 10:45 pm

Re: An anniversary I don't want

Postby janem » Sat May 02, 2015 9:03 am

I am sorry for you and I can understand how you feel. It is 15 months since my dad died of pc and 17 months since my mum died from the stress and worry, yet I still regularly come on and look how people are doing with their fight against this awful disease although I don't normally post like it is still a way to be close to them. I hope you are OK as at times it feels that that is the best you can hope for.
Reading this back it seems so inadequate but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone with these feelings