Does it ever get any easier?

I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer 17 months ago but I'm still finding every day a struggle, I feel sad, angry, bitter, guilty, and most of all heartache at missing my dad. My dad went into hospital on a Tuesday, was diagnosed Thursday and he died the early hours of Saturday morning. I had literally stayed with him 24/7 but needed to get home Friday night (for a shower and sleep) my head had literally just hit the pillow when I got the call that he was going. I raced to hospital but he had gone. My biggest regret in my life is that I hadn't stayed just a few more hours so I could've been with him and held his hand as he passed away. My dad was such an amazing man he had still been working up until the Sunday before he died, he was 60 years old. I want thus pain I feel everyday to stop, I know I will always miss him but I want to remember him or look at a photo and not cry, I want to be able to smile at my memories.

I know how you feel, we didn't get to dad when he died and I regret that every day, however I truly do believe people choose when to pass away, maybe your dad felt that this was the right time. I can't imagine how you feel in terms of how quick it was, however I do know how you feel about loosing your dad. Xx

Sarah, you were there for him, you were. He knows you loved him. Its still early and it was so quick, its hard.

Take care.

Julia x