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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby Sueoliver » Wed Feb 25, 2015 7:40 pm

Hi Nikki just wanted to say I'm thinking of you . Sue x

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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby nikkis » Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:04 am

My wonderful, handsome, clever husband quietly slipped away in the night. The girls and I could not have wished for a more loving, pretty near perfect husband and father. I consider my self incredibly lucky that he chose to spend his life with me. Paul would have put up with any amount of pain, and undergone any treatments if it meant he could spend more time with us, but in the end he could not beat this darn thing. The last two years have been so hard but we have had so many good times too, I am grateful for every extra day we have had as a family.

Thank you my fellow posters for all your love and support. I would never have imagined that I would post on a forum, but you all being there has made me feel so much less alone. Paul never posted or read anything here, but he knew about you all, and was always keen to hear about your opinions and experiences.

I have put this quote from Winnie the Pooh on Fiona's post but I just wanted to finish mine with it, as it is amazing how such few words can sum up exactly how I feel-

"How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard".

Take care all,
Nikki xxx

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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby Sueoliver » Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:55 am

Hi Nikki I am so sorry to read your post you are a wonderful family and this has reduced me to tears. Thinking of you all at this very sad time. Take care. Love Sue xxx

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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby rsk1974 » Thu Feb 26, 2015 7:22 am

So sorry to hear your devastating news, I can't even imagine how you are coping but you are an amazing person.x

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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby RLF » Thu Feb 26, 2015 8:51 am

I'm so sorry Nikki, I'm shedding a few tears for you all now but also I'm glad Paul's in no pain any more. I feel incredibly close to you and your story for obvious reasons, so it's a hard thing to read and my heart goes out to you both.
All my love


Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby Fifi » Thu Feb 26, 2015 8:52 am


Sorry very sorry to read this. You were one of the first people on here to reply to my first post. There are a few people on here that I feel very close to, and really do feel like a family with and you are one of those. Funny, I never imagined Paul not being here. Feel I've known him for a long time and he was such a fighter. Like Sue said, this has reduced me to tears also.
I cannot imagine how you or your girls are possibly feeling right now. I wish I could say something to take away your pain, but I know there is nothing.
Please keep posting Niiki.

Leila xx

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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby MSH » Thu Feb 26, 2015 9:48 am

So very sorry to read of Paul's demise. He's had a hard time of things these last two years, borne bravely and with good heart.

My condolences.


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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby jay » Thu Feb 26, 2015 10:13 am

Nikki and your beautiful girls, my heart goes out to you all. You are one very special person and I feel close to you, tears are streaming down my face. I am so sorry.
Lots of love Jayne

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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby EmmaR » Thu Feb 26, 2015 10:25 am

Dear Nikki so so sorry thinking of you and your family you have been so kind and supportive to everyone on the forum so please know we are all here for you now !
Emma x

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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby Ant11 » Thu Feb 26, 2015 10:53 am

Dear Nikki

So sorry to read that your wonderful loving Paul has lost his brave fight against this relentless disease. May he now be at peace with no more suffering or pain.

Your posts on this forum have helped so many people, more than you could even imagine. Even with your situation becoming more difficult and harder in the last few weeks, days you still posted help and support to your forum family. I know everyone will have found this "priceless". May you and your girls have the strength in the coming days to continue to make Paul the proudest husband and Dad. I'm sure it was the hardest thing for him to let go and leave the family he loved dearly,although you cannot see him he will always be by your side.

I think this winnie the pooh quote sums it up too......

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.

Love Annettex

Support Team
Site Admin
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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby Support Team » Thu Feb 26, 2015 12:37 pm

Dear Nikki,

We are so saddened to hear the news of Paul's passing last night.
What a fighter, and such an amazing battle he fought right until the end. You have been such a support to others on here Nikki, and many have followed Paul's and your story throughout. He has done remarkably well, and I know that he had superb support from you and your 2 girls.

Needless to say Nikki, I know that I speak for all of the nurses on here, and everyone else at Pancreatic Cancer UK, in sending our sincere condolences to you and the girls at this time - you are an inspiration, and Paul was lucky to have such am amazing and loving wife by his side.

Our thoughts are with you and the 2 girls, and Paul's family at this sad time.

Kindest regards,



Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby Fifi » Thu Feb 26, 2015 12:41 pm


I am so incredibly saddened by your loss. I have asked Jeni if I can send you something. Obviously she can't give details without your consent. If you don't want to then I understand, but I would really like to send you something. You've been amazing to me and everyone else on here.
Will leave it with you.

Please take care.

Leila xx

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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby Didge » Thu Feb 26, 2015 12:44 pm

Nikki, this is the 3rd time I have tried to post but they are not appearing so just want to say how sorry I am and am thinking of you and sending you lots of love.

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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby Didge » Thu Feb 26, 2015 12:45 pm

Your Paul was only 3 months ahead of my Rob in diagnosis and similar age so your journey is of special meaning to me. I do hope you find some comfort that the end seemed peaceful as I think that is also a great fear for us. xxx

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Re: Abraxane -our experiences so far

Postby sandraW » Thu Feb 26, 2015 2:41 pm

Dearest Nikki,

I am so very sorry to hear that you have lost your beloved Paul, but so very glad it was so peaceful.
I am at a loss to know what to say, as others have said, you have been such a wonderful support to us all on here, whilst going through your own torrid times, with this horrific disease.
I am sending you love and strength to get you through the next days, weeks months and years without your beloved husband by your side, you will miss him so desperately as will your beautiful girls.
I know its selfish but please post and let us know how you are, when you feel able.
with love from a loving member of your forum family, sandrax xx