Please Help

[Jacqueline1982]

Hi everyone, I am new to this forum. I hope someone can help me. My mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in August and chemo hasn't worked. The tumor is inoperable and she has been going downhill. A few days ago she developed severe swelling on her feet and today has woken up with swelling on her hands and face and no feeling in her hands, she also has low blood pressure. My mum didn't tell us when she was diagnosed that apparently you only have months to live once diagnosed with this type of cancer, mainly to keep us from worrying as I lost my dad in October 07 to cancer. I am extremely worried and I would like to hear from anyone who has been in this situation. I didn't realise how short a time my dad had left and wish I had said things to him. I would like to get this chance with my mum. My mum's mum and my grandmother died last month and its been such an awful time for the family. Is this near the end for my mum and do you truly never know?

Please help x

[Jacqueline1982]

Hi, this is a reply for Sue, I tried to reply by email but my server would not let me for some reason!

Thanks for your reply by email. I am 26 and my mum will be 49 in May. My dad died just after his 50th birthday. My mum has 5 brothers (two of whom are deceased) and one sister. Some of us are a close family but some of my aunt and uncles I do not see often. My mum has a partner whom she has been with for 4 yrs now. My dad and my mum separated when I was 18. They remained friendly though and my mum was there for him when he became unwell.

I also lost one of my babies in Aug 07 due to having twins prematurely, I went into labour at 28wks. I am currently pregnant now and I am 26wks on Tue.

My grandmother's heart and kidneys were not working properly and her feet and legs started to swell, However she did not have cancer and had the swelling for about a year before she died. I know my mum's is different but could this be because the heart and kidneys are not working properly? I was also shocked when I went into see her at the house yesterday before she was admitted to hospital,her face was very swollen also.

I do understand that my mum does not want to upset her family but I need her to know that I want to be there for her, she is a fighter and I don't think she wants to think that this is going to beat her. She knew she had cancer for a week and didn't tell us. She wasn't going to but her partner told her she really should not keep it from us as we had been through it with my dad the year before and that we would realise what was wrong eventually. I didnt know the survival rate was so low until yesterday.

I will be lost without her, my son is 18months and before she became ill we would go walks to the town and I go over every day that I can, although I have tried to give her a rest lately as my little one is running around just now and sometimes I think she needs to reserve her energy. I am never off the phone to her though. Sometimes I think she gets fed up with me phoning all the time to see if she is ok.

My mum has a palliative care nurse who comes to the house to see her, I have met her once or twice, pretty much when she was leaving the house. Vaguely spoken to her.

The consultant was going up to the ward to visit my mum last night and I am just waiting to phone the hospital when the Dr has been round. Apparently the ward she is in does not allow day visiting, only night time but I think I will try and see if I can get in to see her.

Thanks again,

Keep in touch

[Jacqueline1982]

Hi Sue,

I tried to reply again to you by email but I am sorry, It would not let me.

I have a brother who is 23. I am going up to the hospital to visit my mum tonight, they think she may have had a mini stroke and are sending her for a brain scan this afternoon so we might know more tonight. I spoke to her earlier on the phone and she seemed okay but had not spoken to a consultant yet.

Jacqueline