Taking the plunge!

[Carole McGregor]

Oh Bee - this is just too much. So much sadness. We all know the statistics but we still think that our loved one will be the exception don't we ? Nothing prepares you for this. It's clear from your posts that you and your husband fought this bloody awful disease together, as a team, and kept your children close, safe and secure throughout. May this give you the strength you will need over the next weeks, months and years ahead. It's almost two months now since my husband Clive died and in those dark days when the pain is almost too much to bear I remember that I am not alone. There are so many people who will read your post and know what it feels like to have lost the person they loved most in the world to this cruel disease.

Thinking of you

Much love

Carole

[J_T]

Bee, Carole has put it so very well in her post that I can only add how very sad I am to hear you have lost Chris. I wish you strength to get through the days ahead. You have the love and support of your family to help you through.

Look after yourself,

Much love

Julia xxx

[cestrian]

Dear Bee

Sincere condolences on your sad loss and all my love to you and your family. Chris must be as proud of your son's inclusion in the County squad as you all are of Chris and his amazing fortitude throughout his struggle with PC and its direst manifestations.

May your God bless you and give you all strength, hope and Peace.

Love and Peace

Mike x

[marie souter]

Oh Bee,

What sad news to see this morning, am so pleased you were there for your beloved chris to the end I know how hard that is having just been there recently. But feel your pain so much. I got up this morning hoping to see a little message of hope from someone today and seen yet another loved one taken, so many this last month alone.

Your love for him and your children will give you strength in the days to come, his fighting spirit, determination and downright tenacity was evident throughout and its your turn to pick up those reigns where he left off, and its hard, but you will find the strength even when you think there is none, the hurt is incredibly painful there is nothing like it, and you are right nothing prepares you for it, you think you will be considering what disease they have, but it doesn't.

Take comfort that his suffering is over it helped me. We are still here for you, I know I still needed you guys when my mom passed.

I will be thinking of you all today you and your lovely family and wishing you the strength to get through the days ahead ...

My love and heart goes out to you

Hugz

Marie

xx

[Jwilson]

Dear Bee, I am so sorry today to hear about Chris. How he managed to work right up to so near the end is astonishing! And yourself as well I don't know how you did it. Bill was incapable of sorting out the meds during the last weeks plus he couldn't stand hence I needed to lift him to use a commode. Those poor men......what they had to endure was just horrific. Chris sounds as though he had a shocking end to his life. I'm sure you have no regrets and that you all were able to stay by his side. I was able to tell a Bill about the fundraising and he could understand at that point. Over £8000 we have reached on a donate page. He would have been amazed! From now on you have a hard road. Decisions you hoped you would never have to make re the funeral and so on. My girls read a poem called The Dash at Bills service and so so many people have commented on it. Maybe you might like to look it up. You will get the strength from somewhere to get through this next stage. Strength plus support from friends and family really helps. Then there is the form filling.....that's a whole other thing but tell you what, it keeps you very very busy.

Today I am running away from Christmas. I catch a flight to Singapore to stay with my daughter Vicky and her new husband Steve. Laura and her partner follow me out next Friday. Just could not be here at Christmas with no Bill.

Wishing you all the best for your next bit of the journey and well done for your son. What sport? Rugby? Oh Karen, Julia, Cathy and I all are in touch on Facebook. Maybe you fancy joining us when things settle or you can't sleep! Just look for June Wilson. Lisburn.

Love June x

[Slewis7313]

Dear Bee, I really am so sorry to hear that Chris has been taken by this awful thing. Whilst there are some positive stories on the forum, losses like yours seem to overshadow them (for a while anyway). There have been too many losses lately and the timing of Chris' death could not have been worse. It was good to hear that you were all able to be with him in the latter stages and that he continued to beet the odds by hanging on in there so much longer than expected.

It is going to be a difficult time for you and the family, but I know you will be supported in particular by the lovely people here who have been through similar losses over recent times. The thoughts of all those who frequent this place will also be with you through this difficult time.

Take care

Steve

X

[Cathy]

Oh Bee..

I have been wondering how things were going as you hadn't posted for a while and I was so so sorry and sad to hear that Chris had died. I cried when I heard your news. It' always seems like just when you think you can get ahead the thing sneaks up behind you and catches you unawares.

It's a terrible time of year for those that have lost a loved one, so to lose someone so close to Christmas is terribly hard. Jonathan was diagnosed just before Christmas last year which made Christmas itself horribly poignant.

I hope all goes well for the funeral and be assured Bee that you and your family will be in our thoughts at this very difficult time.

Loads of love and hugs

Cathy xxxxxxx

[MSH]

So sorry to hear your sad news Bee, especially at this time.

My condolences.

Mark

[Birchen]

So sorry Bee to read your sad post. It does however give strength to those going through this dreadful illness to read about your time as a family with Chris at the hospice. When my mother left us she spent the last week in our local hospice and being one of 6 children we all moved in for the week. We had some sad times but what we all remember now are the laughs and good times we had as a family in the hospice which will be with us all forever. Hope that you and your family will feel the same. Thinking of you all. Love Lyn x

[nikkis]

My dear Bee,

I am so very sorry to hear that you have lost your lovely Chris. The courage of our men through this is extraordinary, but somehow the fact that Chris fought this so bravely must make losing him even harder, as he was obviously a very special man. How wonderful for Chris that he had you in his life too, loving him as much as you did, and I am so glad to hear that you were all together in those last precious days. I tell Paul and my girls how much I love them every day, and I guess even if our time together is cut short, we are so very lucky to have had so much love in our lives, when we see every day families that never experience that.

Take care of yourself and you children,

Lots of love,

Nikki

[InfoForMum]

Hi Bee, so sad for you all. My overwhelming sense of you has been as a warm, resilient and very kind woman. Your posts helped me greatly. I know you'll get through to a place where all of you can find the joy in life again, but I'm so upset you have that journey to face.

Sarah

XXX

[belgrade]

Hello Bee,

I was deeply saddened to read you post today and learn that your lovely husband has lost his fight, and with the approach to Christmas, it is all the more poignant. It is just over 3 months since my husband passed away and although some days are very, very hard, I have been fortunate to be surrounded by my two daughters and some very close friends. Life will never be the same again, but we owe it to our loved ones to choose a new path to follow, as we have a choice that PC has so cruelly taken away from them.

Look after yourself, and know that many of us on the forum, know what you are going through and will be here for you.

Love

Hilary

[marie souter]

Hello Bee, Mike, Cathy, everyone,

PLease all of you feel free to add me to facebook as well, my pic is an old black and white pic of my mom and dad can't mistake it ...

Bee, I know you are going to be shell shocked these first couple of weeks will be a haze for you please turn to us should you need to ...

Love and Hugz

Marie

xx

[marie souter]

You too Julia xxx how could I forget you

[Sueba]

Bee

I don't think I have ever posted to you directly,and to be honest I haven't really been on the forum since my husband Mick passed away just 4 weeks ago.

I'm so sad and angry that another "hero" has been taken leaving a big hole in our lives.

The only comfort I have had recently is that we truly did everything we could and I like you had the time together to really say how we felt about each other and he was always telling,our 3 boys how proud and how much he loved them,maybe not something said enough when you have a busy life.

I can't offer you any advice for the next few weeks,it is not a nice place to be in but whenever I've been in a particular dark place I've thought of our children and how he lives on in them and how I had promised to look after them.....

Micks funeral was a cremation followed by a service to celebrate his life.It was perfect,tears,laughter and love!our 3 sons (age 13 to 18) spoke,making everyone laugh telling funny stories about their dad/hero they did us all proud!!i look back at it now and am proud that it was so perfect!

I've found great comfort talking to my friend who lost her husband 7 weeks before Mick died,he died from skin cancer and was also in his 40s,we can say things we can't really say to others,no one understands what it's like to lose their best friend unless it has happened to them.

So take care of yourself,become selfish!! Say no to some visitors!!and if you would like a chat anytime I too am on Facebook under Susan Barsby,please excuse any naked photos,we have done a charity calendar for PCUK which is now his legacy......

Much love and hugs

Sue

Xx

[laura]

dear bee, so very sorry to hear that your lovely chris has flown the nest, i have been following your story, yet another sad story that makes me so grateful that ours is so differant.

my thoughts are with you, stay true to you, and i send wishes of strength and peace.

love to your family and you, laura xxx

[karen17]

Oh Bee - reading these posts through tears, I'm so sorry and my heart goes out to you and the children. It sounds to me that Chris like my Bob refused to let pc take over his life until the end. He was a true hero battling on. Where the strength comes from I just can't imagine. Take comfort from the fact that you had the time at the end to be together as a family. He will have known how loved he was by you all. No words will take the pain away but you will find a way through. Take comfort from your family and friends and be kind to yourself. As June said when you are ready find us on Facebook. I don't know what I would do without jools, June, cathy and Kate to off load to. My thoughts are with you

Karen xxx ( big hug )

Sue and Carole.....I think about you lots

Nikki........my fellow hv sending lots of love

Sarah......always available for glass of wine in the background

Steve, Mike and Linda......always in my thoughts

[EmmaR]

Oh dear bee another good man taken to soon I know how desperate you must be feeling lost my Jon on the 19th of November and it's true what they say grief is the price you pay for love but stay strong for your family and I hope your son goes on to do his dad proud with his rugby ..

Your forum family are all here for you and it's really only people like us who have watched our loved ones fight this awful awful disease really understand the reality of it .

Love EmmaR x

[jules 2015]

Hi Bee

So very sad to login this morning and read the news that your beloved Chris has lost his battle with this horrific disease.

I hope you can take some comfort that you and your family were with him until the end and had time to say your goodbyes.

I lost my dad last month and still cry for him everyday, don't feel that you have to be strong all the time for your children you need to grieve too

Sending you lots of hugs and strength to help you get through the next few weeks.

Julie x

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Dear Bee,

I am so sorry to read about the passing of Chris. Such a sad bit of news to read again on here - our sincere condolences go to you and your family, from all of us here at Pancreatic Cancer UK.

Our thoughts are with you.

Jeni and Dianne, Support Team.

[Bee]

Hi everyone,

Thank you all for your lovely words. So the funeral is tomorrow. This all feels so unreal, perhaps it will hit tomorrow. I feel numb for the majority of the time, and although I know he won't I expect him to walk in the front door or text me or phone. When I don't feel numb I just feel flat and function on autopilot.

Tomorrow will be a celebration of chris xx

[J_T]

Hi Bee, all those feelings are very familiar.

I hope the celebration of Chris's life is everything you want it to be. I am sure it will be a fitting send off to your lovely man.

I'll be thinking of you.

Love

Julia x

[belgrade]

Hello Bee,

It's now over 3 months since my husband passed away and I still, like you with Chris, are half expecting him to walk through the door or text me.Life is very different and somewhat unreal at times. I try to focus on, not why has he gone but what wonderful memories he has left us with. This is a rocky road but you will find your path along it.

My thoughts will be with you tomorrow.

Love

Hilary

[jules 2015]

Hi bee

Hoping that Chris's funeral goes as well as can be expected tomorrow. I still wake up every day hoping that it has all been as bad dream.

Take care

Julie x

[littlesister]

More thoughts with you. x

Judi