Preparing for the future

[LindaH]

Hi

I went along to x (edited-moderator this afternoon, for the second opinion on my tumour.

Am I pleased I went...yes I suppose so, but no miracle, no cure, not for me.

Putting it straight, everything that is being done at the moment is exactly how it should be. The chemo Cisplatin and Gemcitabine are the ones they would have used to treat me, so basically everything that is being done for me at my local hospital is fine.

The fact that my tumour is an 'unusual' tumour is the major factor in the success of the chemo. Because there are no statistics, they really do not know how successful the chemo will be, so I'm playing a waiting game here. Another major factor is that because the tumour has spread into my liver, radio isn't possible, so when I finish my sessions of chemo and hopefully if the tumour has stopped growing, it will then be a case of waiting, praying and hoping the tumour will not start up again in a hurry, because in their experience sometimes second sessions of chemo do not really work again.

In truth I have about a year of life....maybe more if I keep fit and if the tumour stops growing.

I felt quite calm as he was telling me. My darling daughter was with me and my hubby and even though we cried, we were all fairly calm.

I don't understand why this awful disease is robbing me of my life. Robbing my 21 year old daughter of a mother when she will probably need me the most. Robbing me of the possibility of seeing my daughter married. Robbing my husband of his wife of 29 years. We were going to grow old together, retire together....it's so unfair.

I want to scream God Please help me, but what is the point.

One thing the consultant was a little concerned about, was when I started talking about this operation in Germany. He said he's heard so much about it of late and it's giving people false hope. He said for every operation which the German's say are successful, at least two are not successful and the cancer comes back. He was so annoyed at the way this has been portrayed has some miracle operation.... I don't know about that, all I know is that it wouldn't help me.

It's awful, it really is....

One thing I will admit to, I'm scared, very scared. I just don't want to die.

Linda

Edited April 26, 2013 by LindaH

[Slewis7313]

Dear Linda, I wish there was something I could say to help you through this, but I know there isn't. All I can say is that we are all thinking about you and are with you in your fight against this horrible thing.

Please take care and keep the dialogue going.

You are in my thoughts more than you know.

Steve

X

[LindaH]

Slewis7313 wrote :

> Dear Linda, I wish there was something I could say to help you through

> this, but I know there isn't. All I can say is that we are all thinking

> about you and are with you in your fight against this horrible thing.

>

> Please take care and keep the dialogue going.

>

>

> You are in my thoughts more than you know.

>

>

> Steve

> X

Bless you Steve. I cannot tell you how very appreciative I am of everyones good wishes, it really does help. Thank you. Linda x

[KATB]

Linda, I am so, so sorry you are going through this awful thing. I wish there was something I could do, that anyone could do. It's so frustrating and so unfair.

Just know we are all here with you, here to listen whenever you need an ear.

Let's hope beyond hope that the chemo does its job.

Keep posting and take care.

Much love,

Kate

x

[J_T]

Dear Linda, if love was a medicine none of us would be in these awful situations.

I send you lots of love and good vibes that the chemo works and you have many, many happy and memorable days with your adoring family.

Lots of Love

Julia x

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Dear Linda,

I am so very sorry to hear your news, and what you have gone through.

As Steve and the others have said, there is nothing which we can say to change the circumstances, only to let you know we are here for you and thinking about you.

As for Germany, I will post separately on this, since it has caused some concern by some of the UK consultants.

Many thanks for feeding this back.

Kind regards,

Jeni.

[LindaH]

moderator wrote :

> Dear Linda,

>

> I am so very sorry to hear your news, and what you have gone through.

>

> As Steve and the others have said, there is nothing which we can say to

> change the circumstances, only to let you know we are here for you and

> thinking about you.

>

> As for Germany, I will post separately on this, since it has caused some

> concern by some of the UK consultants.

>

> Many thanks for feeding this back.

>

> Kind regards,

>

> Jeni.

Thank you Jeni, very much appreciated x

[BB82]

Sorry to hear of your story linda. My dad was diagnosed 3weeks ago as inoperable he started chemo on wednesday past. Its a terrible disease. My thoughts and prayers with everyone suffering from this.