Folfirinox started on Wednesday and other stuff

[Slewis7313]

Hi Julia, likewise sorry to hear things aren't so good at the moment.

Best wishes to you both.

Steve

X

[karen17]

Hi Julia,

Just wanted you all to know that I'm still thinking of you and so sorry to hear Julia that things are not too good with you. I know only too well how absolutely physically and emotionally exhausted you must be. Rest assured you are doing a fantastic job. Try to keep your strength up xxx

[KATB]

Thank you all for your thoughts and wishes.

Difficult times but still sharing some nice moments with dad.

K

x

[J_T]

Yes, thank you all

Ray is stil managing to amuse us AND the nurses with his own special brand of wit!

Karen, hope you are doing okay.

Love to all and keep well.

Julia x

[J_T]

A wonderful, wonderful man died last night. A beloved husband, father, friend. We were married for 41+ years and the hole he has left in our family is massive. I loved him to the moon and back and then some.

Our local support team have been outstanding, GP, Macmillan and district nurses. Also the nurses here. Kate in particular has found Jeni a great help.

Thank you all too for your support over the last 7 months. I hope your stories have a happier ending. Go get the bastard! (No apologies)

Julia x

[Jwilson]

Julia. So so sorry to read your post this morning. Your man sounds like he fought to the end and as we would say here....even kept the nurses in Craic with his humour! 41 years my goodness congratulations! Thinking about you. Karen a matter of days ago and now you, this cancer doesn't give up does it. Look me up on Facebook. This site is fantastic but maybe we can connect up in the outside world sometime. Sending you strength to get through the next days. No more suffering is what I say x

June

[cestrian]

Julia

The love and prayers of all of us on here are with you at this sad time. All we can do is fight the good fight and keep supporting one another through good and bad. It is so sad to see another fellow sufferer losing his battle with this foul disease and the words "blessed release" always sound a bit trite.

Comfort yourself that through your words and deeds over many years Ray was never in any doubt as to your love for each other and that you had enjoyed such a wonderful long married life together. I know that I treasure every additional day with my own wife of 46 years and our wonderful son, daughter and grandchild.

Love and Peace

Mike

Mike

[Dfarmer]

Sending you lots of hugs.

Dawn

X

[Cathy]

Hi Julia and Kate

I've just got back from holiday and logged in to see how you were doing... I am so so so sorry and sad to hear that Ray/Dad has died!!!! I can't imagine how you must be feeling but my thoughts are with you for sure. As you say, this bloody bastard disease. We started posting on here at the same time and I hope you don't feel me presumptive to say that although we have never met I felt that we were friends. And you have always continued to be a great support to others even when Ray was so ill.

I know you had said before you were getting great support and that Ray wasn't in a deal of discomfort so that will be a comfort in future I hope.

I could tell from your posts that you had a special relationship and he was clearly a great character.

Our thoughts are with you all.

Cathy xxxxx

[nikkis]

So sorry Julia to hear that you lovely husband has died. This disease really does seem to pick on the best, most wonderful people doesn't it?

Thinking of you and your family, and wishing you the strength to get through the next few days,

Nikki

[J_T]

Thank you all for the lovely messages.

Mike, thank you for those lovely words. Blessed release is EXACTLY the phrase I have been using.

Cathy, hello friend, hope you had a fantastic holiday and Jonathan is well.

Never in our wildest dreams did Ray or me think we would be walking this path. I'm so very sad at the loss of my rock.

Xxx

[Cathy]

Hi Julia

Lovely to hear from you. I know what you mean. I hope you will have loads of love and support from those around you to offer some support and comfort and this terrible time (I'm sure you will). And lots from us virtually of course.

Holiday was lovely though marred at times for poor Jonathan by on off constipation (definitely no mankinis). Will try get that sorted now we're back.

Loads of big virtual hugs

Cathy xxxx

[karen17]

Dear Julia and Kate,

Just seen your post and words cannot express how sorry I am that another brave man has passed. What has always shone through all your posts Julia is what a lovely united family you are and I know that both you and Kate supported and fought for Ray always. He must have been so comforted by that and I hope that you can both also now take comfort from the fact that you did your upmost for him. He was a well loved man.

Like Cathy I feel that I know you as a friend as we've all been together in this for so long. I wish u courage and strength to get through these dreadful days. Keep strong as a family. Ray would be proud of you both.

All my love - Karen xxx

[belgrade]

Hello Julia,

I am so sorry to hear that your husband has lost his fight. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Hilary x

[Bee]

Hi Julia and Kate,

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss, you have both done an amazing job and done everything in your power to care for Ray throughout his illness.

As others have said I am sure he was in no doubt how much you loved him and its fantastic that you were able to say all that you needed to.

Sending virtual hugs as always,

Take care

Bee xxx

[InfoForMum]

I have no idea what to add. I'm so sad for you both. Another lovely sounding thoroughly courageous human being stolen away. Be gentle with yourselves ladies. You both did your absolute best for him. I know this horrid thing makes our "best" not very much sometimes, but hopefully you won't underestimate what you have both done for Ray and so, so many others here.

A few days after I joined I had Karen, Cathy, Steve, Bee, you Julia, you Kate and many others all supporting me after that first scared post. I turned to my Mum and said "we've been gathered up into the online family". That's a powerful thing. Thank you both and make sure you take advantage of the friendships you've obviously made here through your generosity and strength. He must have been so proud of both of you.

Love and hugs

Sarah

XX

[KATB]

Thank you so much for you lovely posts.

I have been overwhelmed with messages of love and support and it all helps so, so much.

I am completely heartbroken and lost and just thankful for 3 busy boys keeping me going. I know Dad would want us to carry on smiling and living a happy life so that's what we will do. How I'll do it without him though, I just don't know.

xxx

[PCUK Nurse Dianne]

Dear Julia, Kate and families,

We are sorry to hear of Ray's passing, may he be peaceful in his resting place. You have both been so caring and wonderful in sharing your stories with your 'forum family', and clearly this has been returned to you by the loving messages from your forum friends.

On behalf of Jeni and myself, we send our sincerest condolences, and also from all the staff at Pancreatic Cancer UK, thinking of you at this sad and difficult time.

With our sincerest sympathy,

Jeni & Dianne

Support Team

[J_T]

Thank you Jeni and Dianne.

You are so right about the forum 'family', so glad we found you.

xxx

[J_T]

If you don't mind I'd like to share the words from a condolence card I received yesterday. I've had many lovely messages but this is from a guy I didn't know, he worked for Ray, and someone has obviously taken time in choosing the card and it fills my heart with pride to know what in high regard Ray was held.

Remembering a Life Well-Lived (that's true!)

Some people just can't help

making a difference in our lives.

By simply being who they are,

they make the world a little brighter,

a little warmer,

a little gentler,

and when they're gone

we realise how lucky we are

to have known them

The world has lost a very special person

Sharing your sadness and keeping you close in thought

Part of the personal message says

So sorry to hear about Ray, he was one of the good guys and I will miss him greatly ...

Bloody hell, he WAS one of the good guys, the best.

I love you my darling xxx

[Cathy]

Oh that's really lovely. It made me cry.

I know this is a little different but when I lost my sister a while back, the amount of strength and comfort my parents (especially) got from cards and messages of condolence was absolutely wonderful. A number from people they didn't know. It really really helped (still does!).

To know that someone you love is so well loved, so highly regarded and whose life has touched so many people is a very special thing. Ray was clearly a very special person and many people will be thinking of you and the family Julia, even if you don't know them.

I'm sure the cards will continue to flood in.

Cathy xxxx

[InfoForMum]

Wow, coming from another man that is pretty powerful. What was that line from Evan Almighty? "change the world one act of random kindness at a time". It sounds like Ray left the world a heck of a lot richer than he found it. I hope my kids meet someone who inspires that much respect in their working lives!

Sarah

XXX

Edited October 17, 2013 by InfoForMum

[KATB]

Oh

I have been inundated with messages, cards, flowers and chocolate. I am AMAZED and so touched by people's kindness and love at this time.

I have received cards from people I don't even know that well, e.g. siblings of friends, parents of friends and even the boys' tutor!

I am kind of shocked by how much this helps. I mean, they can't change anything, they can't bring him back but just to know people care so much means so much.

I love you daddy

xxxxx

[Slewis7313]

Dearest Julia and Kate, I have really struggled to get on line this week but finally did today. I was so saddened to hear that your Ray had lost the battle with this awful thing. He was obviously a very lucky man in life to have been so loved by you all and I am sure he will never be forgotten. I hope all goes as well as can be expected on Monday and I will be thinking of you both.

Love

Steve

X

[Bee]

Dear Julia and Kate ,

Hope all goes well tomorrow, you will be in my thoughts.

I am sure it will be a celebration of a wonderful life,

Hugs as always

Bee xx